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Accidentally gave girl cold shoulder at gym

retlif93

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I know this is kind of random, but just wanted to share it with someone. I'm a pretty big newbie to picking up girls at the gym and figure most of them are doing their thing, Im apparently attractive but I keep my distance and work on myself. I have no problem getting girls but I'm kind of a reserved guy and unless something happens naturally I don't like to force my myself into situations. That's just me.

However, I'm always at the gym and have only seen this beautiful sexy young woman a few times there. And the three, four times I've seen her we always make eye contact like she's obviously checking me out and I'm looking at her like she's a snack. That's cool and all.

But I have never really had the thought on spitting game at the gym. If I'm at a bar, or shopping, there's usually a conversation starter.

But the gym? What do I say, "you come here often?" Or "you know a good bicep curl is to do it this way." Maybe it is. Maybe I'm overthinking, I am a thinker. But since I've getting more in shape it never even occured to me to start getting some general lines for getting girls in the gym. Especially if they come talk to you first, which this girl tried to do!!!

I see her staring at me, and as Im returning weights to a rack she smiles at me, but I have music in and as I turn away to rerack my stuff it looked like she said something to me. And I ignored her. I didn't really mean to, but it was heavy and I didn't think too much of it at the time. Now when I think about it I feel like a total asshole when I did not mean to be. I honestly did not expect her to start a conversation like that!!!

However, I did try and go redeem myself and make myself more available. I somewhat realized after I walked away maybe I fucked up. So I kinda saw where she was a bit after this and walked to her and worked out on a machine. She saw me and I intentionally looked at her but she didn't reciprocate like the last time. She walked by and this time I took one of my earbuds out and smiled at her and she smiled, but I felt embarrassed and like a dick at this point.

She was nearby and then saw me and again she walked by and I looked at her and was about to engage, but I think maybe I embarrassed her. Maybe the first time she was smiling so bright and I shut her down accidentally she felt awful and embarrassed. I really didn't mean to do that.

What should I do next time I see this girl? Does she just want attention or was she probably genuinely interested? Should I have not been such a big of a overthinking pussy and just talked, and how should I play it off the next time I see this woman? I feel like there was some real chemistry and this is the first time it's happened.
 
You’re not alone my friend. I had this huge gym crush that I never ended up talking to because I was honestly just to in to my work outs. Lmao and I remember her saying something to me while I had my music on and didn’t initiate the conversation. You’re not alone bud.
 
we discussed this on my podcast with a dating guru

the gym is not the place for a quick kill... you have to be-friend the girl first, let her know you are a good guy and not some POS. she will drop hints over time if she is into you, women are smart when it comes to that. if she is not into you or she has a bf expect her to mention something like "yeah me and my bf are going to the game" or something like that. but if she drops hint after you have become friends then ask her if she would like to to grab a smoothie or something, don't be a pussy and be like 'hey can i get your number?'.. that is lame and you are going to have to ask her out that way anyway so cut to the chase, chicks hate when guys are wishy washy. if she rejects you then eat that up, learn to enjoy the smell of rejection the morning and move on. in the mean time while you are single you should be utilizing other ways to meet women, don't just put all your eggs on this 1 chick. you will be more confident when you have a lot of options and women can sense when a guy is a puppy dog desperate like that vs. a guy who has the smell of other chicks on them
 
I actually hate seeing hot chicks at the gym. Total distraction. I honestly look for small unpopular gyms that have no good looking ladies for that purpose!
 
I lift with my gf. She'd probably beat me over the head with a plate if I tried to hit up other girls there.
 
I dont pay attention to the girls at my gym. I'm entirely too focused on what I'm there for for. Besides that, I've been married 15 years so it's not a thought for me. I think the gym is a bad place for a pickup even if I were single
 
Awesome replies guys... I just felt bad man like this girl tried to talk to me and I hope I didn't make her feel too bad.. If I see her again I'll be nice I mean that's my personality. I'm not a creep I'm not a tryhard I like to think I'm personable.

I believe by me thinking oh here's a cute girl I better get her number I put too much pressure on myself, unnecessarily. There's nothing wrong with just being nice like you would be any other place, and not asking or expecting so much right away unless things go smooth.

I will admit, I choked a little bit. Hopefully that won't happen again and next time at the gym I won't think so much. Lesson learned. Thanks guys.
 
IMO, it may still be salvageable. Honesty my friend. Tell her the truth. You mind was preoccupied with restocking the weights and had your earbuds in and wasn't sure if she said anything. Hope I (you) didn't come off as stand offish. That might reopen her line of communication. It'll give her perspective. You're not a dick, just his (your) head was in the game is all.
 
IMO, it may still be salvageable. Honesty my friend. Tell her the truth. You mind was preoccupied with restocking the weights and had your earbuds in and wasn't sure if she said anything. Hope I (you) didn't come off as stand offish. That might reopen her line of communication. It'll give her perspective. You're not a dick, just his (your) head was in the game is all.

apologizing to a woman is actually a great way for her to build trust in you. it shows humility. so this is a great idea.

a simple "hey how are you? look I just wanted to apologize if i came off brash the other day, i was blah blah blah"
 
I hear ya. After being with my ex for 8.5 years. And being single now about 8 months... Iv really had to learn / am learning again. Im hating the online dating thing. So I'm making it a priority that when I see a cute girl I'm actually interested in, just to start some kind of conversation. Do this all the time and the skills build up... At first yeh there might be some shitty awkward moments... But the more u do the better u get... The more confident u get...

Every girl and situation is different as to or what not to say. So just do it. And in fact the worst thing is to walk away and have said nothing...
He who hesitates, masturbates...I remember that from like primary school lol.
 
Don't apologize or ever mention it to her, ever.
You are a fucking man and you were busy with your lift and she can wait. Bottom line. In her mind she knows you didn't notice her, that it wasn't on purpose, so don't apologize.
Let her feel as though she has to win your attention... If she is as hot as you say she is, you just put her in a weird place. Let her win you over.

Don't say anything to her about it, her marinate in her own juices for now, don't engage, wait for her to make another move.

She obviously wants to know you, so just wait.
 
Just ask her out to dinner. And by dinner I mean drinks. And by drinks I mean get drunk. And by drunk I mean fornicate. And by fornicate I mean fuck. And by fuck I mean fuck.
 
You are way way overthinking this. Next time you see her, just start up a convo. No need to appologize or whatever...you are a stranger to her and vise versa.

As a general rule at the gym, if you catch a chick making eye-contact with you more than once, this is a REALLY good sign she is noticing you. That's you chance to intro yourself. "Hey, my name is Gymdude...what are you training today?" Works everytime.
 
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