Hello guys,
It is my very first post in any sort of forum regarding steroids and performance enhancement. Now I care WAY MORE that I used to about health, committement, others, family, balance and hapiness, but I am going to give you a long story, and I am ready to be judged cause I fucked up lots of times. I about to turn 21 and I have a fairly good experiene with all sorts of drugs no matter if it is recreational purpose, for health matter or for performance enhancement, and I am getting a bit lost into the world of fitness and my goals are evolving. I'm like two sides of a coin:
I've read and experienced a lot about nutrition and am able to keep a year long relatively strict diet, what I mean by that is that I don't always put everything on the scale, but I know about what and how much I can absorb to gain and feel good and I listen alot to my instincts, as I don't want to go too DEEP into the world of fitness and stop eating with other people, I rather bring others to follow me. My mom and his boyfriend used to eat a lot of junk (my mother is genetically very thin, but his boyfriend doesn't) and now they eat egg whites and chiken breast on a regular basis (that's fantastic!) So yes I can mostly keep a very good diet even though I am not perfect and I don't write down everything.
I always wanted to lift and I was already training at 12-13 years old and it became part of my life.
My other coin side is my compulsive drug use since I was about 14-15. I started with weed, like every dude, then tried shrooms, exctasy, cocaine, amphetamine, methamphetamine, LSD, and abused of about every single one of them (except for meth I tried once and never wanted to get so down again). I have the chance of having beloving parents who gave me second chances and never let me down because the line is thin between being wealthy or homeless. Dont mistake me here, I always read every single thing I could before doing anything but I know some trips (especially cocaine) could have ended into overdose or suicide and that is mainly why I dont use any of these shit anymore, but if someone would offer me a line of coke, I would have difficulty saying no.
As a student and worker, I also used dexamphetamine, ritaline, vyvanse, adderall without any prescription to help me organise my life, but my compulsory and abuse attitude towards any drugs made it impossible for me to really see sustainable benefits and I was getting bad side effects with any of these drugs so I discontinued them.
So as a depressed teen or young adult, I tried steroids (because I tried anything anyway). The first I had my hands on was Dianabol, I took about 90 10mg pills within four weeks along with liquidex and I threw .5 cc of windstrol depot EOD for 20 days. I tried high, low dosage, splited, all in once, because I'd rather make my own experience that assuming what I read or ear is true. I had GREAT results, but lethargy, agitation and general anger. I remember feeling alone in my own reality, doing every thing I could to gain muscles. Oh and obviously no PCT Mr Careless, no liver protection
At the end of this cycle, I lost one of my friends, who was the girlfriend of one of my best buddy I almost lived with and as he had big alchool problems, and it worsen with the death of his girlfriend... I litteraly fell with him as I took my last shot, we committed crimes to get money, dranked, smoked weed all day. It was also a period where my ex girlfriend was 2 months away from giving birth, and I didn't know if I was the father. I was studying in University at that period and passed but I wasn't there and I met a girl I dated and she became my girlfriend, but she told me she used to be a prostitute and a coke addict so I deepen in crime and drug use down to a point where I was loosing myself.
Had messy grades, messy summer, tried to get back into fitness, back into drugs, in and out, unable to keep the discipline I expected of me. So at the end of the summer I said fuck that I bought trenbolone and Dianabol, and 2 days into the cycle I had already incredible results I was VERY respondent and decided to get the fuck out of my home town and bought a one way ticket to Calgary.
So september first, new town, working in construction sites, on Dbol, just had a crazy G of tren in 7 days cuz I couldn't bring that in the plane, pumped as fuck, ready to be disciplined again and to smile to my new life. 7 weeks later, I finally got test en and cyp, anadrol, arimidex, NAC, and shot the hell out of hit because I was shut down because of the messy tren dbol I just did and because I felt like I needed a boost to keep on with work, to gain muscle, to remedy my erectile dysfunction problem I struggle with because of my drug abuse, (who further worsen it, I know) . By november 15, I had GREAT results, left Quebec at 175 ish and I had to do an early come back because my mother was diagnosted with breast cancer and I felt like I HAD to take care of here so I came back earlier than expected, two days of driving non stop, really really bigger and stronger people where amazed how I improved my overall look and attitude. So I Came back at 205 bloated, i'm 6 foot tall and have really genetically given legs and shoulders, then bought tren and test e home to finish my cycle. I thing I should have stopped before that, because I felt like it wasn't the same quality and I had a little acne on chest, but its mostly all gone now. so I decided to stop when I encountered erectile dysfunction again, and begun my pct a little late but not that much, about 3 weeks after last shot. I also shot hcg at the end but the supplier went out of stock so I learned why you have to buy everything before. Oh and I forgot to mention, I used testosterone in a compulsory manner, where I shoted when I was down or sad or anything, so I shot about a G of test per week wich is FUCKING LOTS.
My story is exausting isn't it? I am now on nolvadex and clomid, 40-50 ED and it help me recover some gains I've lost during holidays, I am now 195, I was 168 at the same date last year, but I am a little fatter than usual cause I never really go fat, and since i've experienced way too much and too young, I am now willing to reconsider my life goals and bodybuilding fascination.
So, here is where I am, I am willing to ear any comment, tip or insult whatever, in order to help me set realistic fitness goals, what products could help me in my situation, and how can I recover the hard erections I dont get anymore cuz I fucked up last year and i'm kinda lost.
Tim
It is my very first post in any sort of forum regarding steroids and performance enhancement. Now I care WAY MORE that I used to about health, committement, others, family, balance and hapiness, but I am going to give you a long story, and I am ready to be judged cause I fucked up lots of times. I about to turn 21 and I have a fairly good experiene with all sorts of drugs no matter if it is recreational purpose, for health matter or for performance enhancement, and I am getting a bit lost into the world of fitness and my goals are evolving. I'm like two sides of a coin:
I've read and experienced a lot about nutrition and am able to keep a year long relatively strict diet, what I mean by that is that I don't always put everything on the scale, but I know about what and how much I can absorb to gain and feel good and I listen alot to my instincts, as I don't want to go too DEEP into the world of fitness and stop eating with other people, I rather bring others to follow me. My mom and his boyfriend used to eat a lot of junk (my mother is genetically very thin, but his boyfriend doesn't) and now they eat egg whites and chiken breast on a regular basis (that's fantastic!) So yes I can mostly keep a very good diet even though I am not perfect and I don't write down everything.
I always wanted to lift and I was already training at 12-13 years old and it became part of my life.
My other coin side is my compulsive drug use since I was about 14-15. I started with weed, like every dude, then tried shrooms, exctasy, cocaine, amphetamine, methamphetamine, LSD, and abused of about every single one of them (except for meth I tried once and never wanted to get so down again). I have the chance of having beloving parents who gave me second chances and never let me down because the line is thin between being wealthy or homeless. Dont mistake me here, I always read every single thing I could before doing anything but I know some trips (especially cocaine) could have ended into overdose or suicide and that is mainly why I dont use any of these shit anymore, but if someone would offer me a line of coke, I would have difficulty saying no.
As a student and worker, I also used dexamphetamine, ritaline, vyvanse, adderall without any prescription to help me organise my life, but my compulsory and abuse attitude towards any drugs made it impossible for me to really see sustainable benefits and I was getting bad side effects with any of these drugs so I discontinued them.
So as a depressed teen or young adult, I tried steroids (because I tried anything anyway). The first I had my hands on was Dianabol, I took about 90 10mg pills within four weeks along with liquidex and I threw .5 cc of windstrol depot EOD for 20 days. I tried high, low dosage, splited, all in once, because I'd rather make my own experience that assuming what I read or ear is true. I had GREAT results, but lethargy, agitation and general anger. I remember feeling alone in my own reality, doing every thing I could to gain muscles. Oh and obviously no PCT Mr Careless, no liver protection
At the end of this cycle, I lost one of my friends, who was the girlfriend of one of my best buddy I almost lived with and as he had big alchool problems, and it worsen with the death of his girlfriend... I litteraly fell with him as I took my last shot, we committed crimes to get money, dranked, smoked weed all day. It was also a period where my ex girlfriend was 2 months away from giving birth, and I didn't know if I was the father. I was studying in University at that period and passed but I wasn't there and I met a girl I dated and she became my girlfriend, but she told me she used to be a prostitute and a coke addict so I deepen in crime and drug use down to a point where I was loosing myself.
Had messy grades, messy summer, tried to get back into fitness, back into drugs, in and out, unable to keep the discipline I expected of me. So at the end of the summer I said fuck that I bought trenbolone and Dianabol, and 2 days into the cycle I had already incredible results I was VERY respondent and decided to get the fuck out of my home town and bought a one way ticket to Calgary.
So september first, new town, working in construction sites, on Dbol, just had a crazy G of tren in 7 days cuz I couldn't bring that in the plane, pumped as fuck, ready to be disciplined again and to smile to my new life. 7 weeks later, I finally got test en and cyp, anadrol, arimidex, NAC, and shot the hell out of hit because I was shut down because of the messy tren dbol I just did and because I felt like I needed a boost to keep on with work, to gain muscle, to remedy my erectile dysfunction problem I struggle with because of my drug abuse, (who further worsen it, I know) . By november 15, I had GREAT results, left Quebec at 175 ish and I had to do an early come back because my mother was diagnosted with breast cancer and I felt like I HAD to take care of here so I came back earlier than expected, two days of driving non stop, really really bigger and stronger people where amazed how I improved my overall look and attitude. So I Came back at 205 bloated, i'm 6 foot tall and have really genetically given legs and shoulders, then bought tren and test e home to finish my cycle. I thing I should have stopped before that, because I felt like it wasn't the same quality and I had a little acne on chest, but its mostly all gone now. so I decided to stop when I encountered erectile dysfunction again, and begun my pct a little late but not that much, about 3 weeks after last shot. I also shot hcg at the end but the supplier went out of stock so I learned why you have to buy everything before. Oh and I forgot to mention, I used testosterone in a compulsory manner, where I shoted when I was down or sad or anything, so I shot about a G of test per week wich is FUCKING LOTS.
My story is exausting isn't it? I am now on nolvadex and clomid, 40-50 ED and it help me recover some gains I've lost during holidays, I am now 195, I was 168 at the same date last year, but I am a little fatter than usual cause I never really go fat, and since i've experienced way too much and too young, I am now willing to reconsider my life goals and bodybuilding fascination.
So, here is where I am, I am willing to ear any comment, tip or insult whatever, in order to help me set realistic fitness goals, what products could help me in my situation, and how can I recover the hard erections I dont get anymore cuz I fucked up last year and i'm kinda lost.
Tim