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Antagonist forces : drugs and fitness, my fucked up 2014 year

tim bro...sounds like you shouldn't use any steroids or anything else...stay natural, diet and train first before you even consider AAS again....

I Agree 100% Try a potent natural test boosting stack and see how it hits you. maybe a D-Spark/HCGenerate/Bridge stack. Do that for 2 months straight and then get your levels checked and see what happens? JMO
BTW respect for pulling yourself out of the pit man. "It's not how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward"
Wow I'm amazed by how QUICK and DEEP your advises are, thanks a lot to each and every one of you,

Tomorrow I have an appointment with a doctor to get a prescription for blood-work, and examination of my family jewels. Tuesday i'm going to receive a first treatment and yes I will need a few injections because now I know it Peyronie's disease, wich is a scared cavernous tissues basically, it's been there for a while and hasn't improved but I didn't know what was going on (i suspect last year stimulant abuse being the cause of stress in that area)

Then, I have to get rid of infections by ingesting a product, then growing my balls back to normal and getting back healthy levels of test and hormonal balance (homeostasis).

My pct is going well, I don't feel much sides, I would say I feel a lot better on 50 mg clomid and 40 of nolva than when I had nothing on hand, i reversed some atrophy. I train home since a week because I subscribed in a school 2 hours from home and i'm waiting for the answer so had to cancel my 12 month subscription before I had fees. I believe I do even, if not better home.

For the addictions I am totally aware of my weakness, but also of my strengths as I won't allow myself to go nearly as down as I was, I haven't done any chemicals in a while, i'm staying as far as I can from alcohol and weed is the one last habit I have to get rid of (munchies, memory, lung capacity, money and ambition).

I won't even consider AA'S again, at least, in a very long time, because I admit they are amazing, but also very dangerous. I wonder if there's even a ``good way`` to do them, I think they can only be harmful because of the HPTA shutdown and it is very likely to shorten your life spent IMO.

I have a question, if I could get my hand on actual HCG, as I did my last test en shot a month ago, would it be benefical to reversing atrophy or the possible stop of natural test production would worsen it afterwards?

Thanks you all for your precious advice
you have the power to over come this. you can do it if you really, really want to.

so go fukin do it man. stay natty for 1.5 yrs, get your shit together and come back and run a basic cycle.

but things must go in a certain order, you need to make small progress each week. nothing happens in a day.

thank you for sharing but im not sure if i got it all.Was far to much to read from my phone lol

are you saying you have never recovered properly from last cycle and still cant get a errection?

you need to run a full extensive pct and see where that takes you.If nothing helps you need to see a doctor..

all this needs to be done before you think about doing another cycle.
I just wanted to reply because I've been there, done that, as have others on this thread. Speaking as someone who is recently in recovery from years of alcohol abuse and at least 12 yrs addicted to weed (that was a long time ago and yes, weed can be mentally addicting), you MUST drop the weed. You will never establish stability or get on track as long as you keep smoking weed. You won't be able to fight the lethargy and lack of drive that constant weed use causes. Eventually, it will lead you to bad decisions and you will be back where you started.

It sounds like you are really making progress but I encourage you to complete that last step.
Yes, this particular drug is the MOST addictive IMO, because the simple reason now everybody advocate it's use and benefits and it fights cancer and all that bullshit, but we all know abusing weed is something that weaken energy and willpower. And in that particular state of mental numbness and inability to have clear head, you turn yourself to stimulants, coffee, energy drinks, pre workout, coffee are not always strong enough, and that's when one's is a ``drug induced attention deficit disorder`` and one's inability to stay clean long enough to clear the system and feel normal puts the user in a depressed state which can lead to the use of stronger drugs to compensate side effect along with adding side effects.

It messes with sleep patterns because when you are high, you can't get into the deepest and most important state of sleep, and when you are not high, you just can't rest properly because your nervous system is tensed.

Now to address hurricane, I might have expressed myself badly, but I had sexual intercouse before, during and after my cycle that where totally satisfactory for both without having significant problem, it happened once maybe at the very end of my cycle, but it is a scared tissue that induces ``angles`` that makes it hard to achieve erection in certain positions I felt even though my libido is always sky high (and above sky while on AA's), it's like it's broken and I just got checked by doc i'm getting blood work by tomorrow to see results. I will receive a shot tomorrow in order to help restore those tissue.

I'm offered to try Triptorelin as better PCT, any of you guys have tried that? And I assume I should reduce or discontinue the use of nolva and clomid in order not to send the wrong message to the brain if I do so.
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