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One week....

caligirl85

Staff
Female Moderator
Strong Woman
Ok guys....need some male input.

One week tomorrow my son is moving to Spain. He's been signed to go and play soccer there, so it's a very positive, exciting move!! He was 18 in Feb.

I have raised him by myself, right from day 1. It's always been just he and I.

The closer it gets the more emotional I get. I didn't think it'd be this hard to "let him go" and it's becoming very real.

When you guys left home for the first time, did you get homesick? Miss your moms? Best way to be supportive without being too emotional?

Any words of wisdom??
 
Wow! That's awesome...he must be pretty good to have a Spanish team sign him...

Personally when I left for college I didn't get homesick too much...I was excited to be away and was having too much fun and sex to feel homesick at first...after a few months I started to get a little bit more, especially after talking with my family and friends and being so out of the loop...there werent any cell phones, facebook, etc and dial up internet was high tech then...I think it would be a double edged sword these days...so easy to stay in touch with everyone but that ends up making you miss them more I think...

I would just make sure he knows you will do anything you can to help him and be there for him...it will be hard at first but in the end he has a great opportunity many never will get...maybe send care packages once a month for first year or something...
 
I left for the military when I was 18 (my choice). I only really missed my mom when I was out of money. Then I called her. No trying to be mean, but it will be much harder on you than him IMHO. You have that maternal instinct. Men - not so much
 
Cali,

When I moved out, I was beyond excited. I moved from Brazil to the Cali then Cali to VA. I know the feeling and excitement he has.

But to answer your question, I was a mamas boy. You know? My mother was the one always home while my father worked so I was around her the most. So to get to the point, yes I missed my mother when I left and I did get homesick. But none of that hit me until a few months after.

The time difference will be different, so calling may be a pain. But you have to be excited for him! He living the dream he wanted! And your support will be all he wants! Be there for him, and I bet he will be there for you!

I can bet after he settles in, he will keep contact as much as he can. And he's young, so he defiantly will be calling mommy still 😁

Tell him good luck and enjoy the dream!

Oh and send him a care package with his favorite American cereals and snacks! That will make him happy!

N²Labs
 
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Damn to be 18 and in Spain lol.

Cali of course he will miss you. The good thing is hes now 18 and he will understand what it's like to be on his own. The good thing is nowadays we have text, facebook, and especially for you Skype. You will be keeping in touch w him OFTEN and its not easy seeing him leave. Being hes your son he was raised the way he was suppose to be raised. He has a great head on his shoulders and will succeed :)

You will hear from him often as hes grown up now and knows what you mean to him.
Bottom line is think positive and keep busy. If you dwell every second on how hes doing you will end up in a padded room.

Thats awesome hes getting this experience. Its literally a once in a lifetime path to his ultimate goals.

Keep strong hes a big kid :)
 
I did miss my mom tho cali, but our relationship changed. She was proud of me for being a man and taking care of myself, and treated me with respect instead of a nurturing mode with a mothers watchful eye.

I say celebrate what he is becoming. Don't lament missing what he was.
 
Thanks you guys! This really helps. I'm usually not overly emotional and I've kind of wondered if I was losing my grip the last couple of days. I keep getting asked "how am I?" or "how will I handle it?" and so on and today there was this huge rush of emotion. I really appreciate the perspective.

I absolutely am so proud of him. I put him in soccer when he was 4 to learn those team skills and here we are now. It is the dream and he's worked so hard to get this opportunity. He's gonna be living like a rock star...private residence with two other players, complete with a pool and a chef. I was thinking about this driving home from work and some of it is that it's a huge change for me. I don't have any excuses now not to focus on myself and get a life, face some fears and not stay in my mom bubble. Change is scary!!

My motto has been "embrace it" ....it's these emotions that just come out of nowhere that are throwing me!

You guys are all awesome! Thank you
 
I did miss my mom tho cali, but our relationship changed. She was proud of me for being a man and taking care of myself, and treated me with respect instead of a nurturing mode with a mothers watchful eye.

I say celebrate what he is becoming. Don't lament missing what he was.

This really helps. I'm probably going to print this off and put it in my purse. I catch myself switching back into mom mode and have become very aware of it. I'm not always successful. Thanks for this, sincerely. Means a lot.
 
I left for the military right after school, I missed everyone at home but also met some amazing new friends so it was worth it. It also made me realize how important my family was to me. Luckily for both of you Cali you have so much better communication methods than I did back then so staying in touch should be relatively easy.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Ok guys....need some male input.

One week tomorrow my son is moving to Spain. He's been signed to go and play soccer there, so it's a very positive, exciting move!! He was 18 in Feb.

I have raised him by myself, right from day 1. It's always been just he and I.

The closer it gets the more emotional I get. I didn't think it'd be this hard to "let him go" and it's becoming very real.

When you guys left home for the first time, did you get homesick? Miss your moms? Best way to be supportive without being too emotional?

Any words of wisdom??

Joined the army at 18, was away from my mum with some significant distance for a long time. Skype is probably the greatest thing ever, makes the homesick thing easier. Congrats to your son for being signed to a spanish team, thats a massive achievement - and if his contract is half decent, he will have no issues affording flights visiting you in the offseason - he's definitely got a better job than most for being able to keep in physical contact with you.

Also, now you can get him to fly you over to sunny Spain to watch him play!
 
Remember, u r his mother, this will not be the last time these emotions hit u. As his #1 fan, u have had and will have, the burden of all of his ups and downs.

There is no better place u can be at anytime, than in his corner, supporting him through and through. U have been preparing for this his entire life!!!! It hurts, but it is a good hurt.

Obviously u have raised him right, much respect, remember this, HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE U!

U got this girl!!!!!
 
Years later my mom still keeps a habit she's had since I went away to college: little emails about what's going on at home. Work, dog, town, family friends, siblings... It's kept me closer than I would have been as I don't get home often enough (my fault, not hers, and not an indication of your son's future...).

Best of luck to him and you.
 
Cali, you will adjust to the empty nest syndrome if you will however it will take time. It is wonderful that he was raised by such a loving mother as yourself. Always remember, that he knows how much you both mean to each other and that bond will carry you both through this. As time passes this will get easier and you will adjust however it just takes time. I just lost my mother 2 months ago however I was extremely fortunate to have had the last year to spend quality time with her. Remember, you always have FaceTime, email, Skype and every other available way to make this easier. :)
 
Does your son need a 3rd roomie? It will be LatinMilfs 24-7 lol.

lol this has been a common comment from pretty much every guy up here...something about Spanish women and having fun! And then the side looks to me to see if I'm listening...lol
 
Remember, u r his mother, this will not be the last time these emotions hit u. As his #1 fan, u have had and will have, the burden of all of his ups and downs.

There is no better place u can be at anytime, than in his corner, supporting him through and through. U have been preparing for this his entire life!!!! It hurts, but it is a good hurt.

Obviously u have raised him right, much respect, remember this, HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE U!

U got this girl!!!!!

:) Thank you....definitely a good hurt!
 
Years later my mom still keeps a habit she's had since I went away to college: little emails about what's going on at home. Work, dog, town, family friends, siblings... It's kept me closer than I would have been as I don't get home often enough (my fault, not hers, and not an indication of your son's future...).

Best of luck to him and you.

Great idea and thanks. I moved to the US when I was 17 and all we had were land lines and letters then. Emails and skype will make this a lot better and it'll be great to follow along too with what they're doing as a team.
 
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