i was you 7 years ago... same thing, to the gym motivated probably 200% more than anyone else and then something happens and a drawback occurs and i stopped going to the gym, eat shit, drink, party...
It's simple. at least what worked for me was... Make your gym session fun. dont try and find the next best workout program. where you have to do, 4 sets of 8 or do 10 x 10. or 5x5. just go to the gym. pick a body part movement workout like Chest and Triceps, Biceps and back etc... And just go and do it... try to break your own personal record, dont' focus to much on programs created by pro bodybuilders. PS... following a crappy workout program consistantly for 5 yeras, works better than following the best program ever "crappy".
have your cheat meals, since you will not be a competitive bodybuilder, atleast for me, knowing i can not have "good" food... good as in... big mac... something i crave once in a while... i'll go nuts and drop of my program. so if you feel like it. eat it, just add it to your daily macros.
Track macro's. Something i learned a few years ago was, keeping track of what you're eating really helps. regardless if you are eating just tuna, chicken and rice,,, or endulge on a cheat meal (not day) meal.... it will help. reward yourself for 2 days clean eating with something you enjoy and slowly try to eat more clean. I still order pizza, or mcdonalds, or go to an all you can eat spanish tapas restaurant, where i just eat fish n meat untill i'm full... life should be fun not something thats restrained.
I was 230 LBS overweight, 5'11. when i started to track macros i just dropped in weight, combined with a ketogenic diet and Anavar only cycle, i basically went down 60 lbs in 1.5 years. i've been in and out as well, and still do. I go to the gym but just workout becuase i have to "its like going to work".. if you dont do it you don't get paid.... Same with lifting weights, if i dont do anything i'll get to the point i started off from. fat and sluggish. NOt that i support steroid cuts! You can cut easily without drugs.... The anavar simply helped maintaining my LBM on a very low, 1500 Kcal diet.. at 60mg/ed. but one thing most people forget (as did i), is that your metabolic rate will adjust to what your intake is, so i've learned, eating more and do more cardio are better for weight loss than just cutting calories.
So whatever your goals are, to cut or bulk, Get your macros's in check, See if you can follow through a diet for like 2 or 4 weeks. and consistantly go to the gym. with that goal in mind to become a better you. and to endorce any other replies on this post most probably. My first steroid cycle i started when i did not even lift... i just started to lift the same day i started my cycle... and i have to say right now, dont' do it... Do something consistantly, do it good, know what you're doing (research). and if you have that motivation and commitment,,,, i would say go for it...
Good luck anyways with what you're going to go for, Greetings.
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