@LevButlerov this is what I am going to do, eating hours start at 1000 hours and finish at 1600 hours. Not too early not too late. I am going to be full, but that is okay, I will figure out how to get the food down and get the protein up in that little window.
I was privileged to talk with
@stevesmi and
@Mobster the other day. I came away more motivated than ever to blast this ship off into a high velocity orbit…so to speak. I could have talked for another two hours.
I am going to share some shit here.
@HarleyGuy , thank you for encouraging this.
My mother took up with a man after her and father divorced, at first he seemed like an okay guy. I was 6 and didn’t know the difference.
After he was fully imbedded in our lives, he changed. He was violent, and very emotionally abusive to my sister and I. I played baseball and soccer at a young age and learned fast that I had to lie about being on a team, because that man considered those sports as “Sissy Sports”, so he would refer to me as Sissy, faggot, pussy boy ect ect ect…
My father would sign me up, but since he lived a ways away, I had to get myself to and from practices and games….without the stepdad knowing about it. I had to fucking sneak around as a 6 through 14 year old. And if I got caught, well, I would get the holy hell slapped outta me.
I eventually stopped playing, but in 6 grade, I signed my moms name on a permission slip for wrestling and went on to wrestle for 6 years. I never said a word about, mom never knew I wrestled until I was a sophomore in high school. She only came to one meet.
Thank god by that time she had divorced and remarried a really good man, poor bastard wasn’t ready for what I had to give though. I apologized to him later in life after I had dealt with a lot of damage from mom’s second husband.
That man made me fight the kids in the neighborhood, my friends, and if I didn't win….well, oh boy.
He created a monster in me. For a lot of years, I was that “sudden discharge guy” someone would say something or look at me funny , and I would immediately go off and do whatever I could, to literally destroy them. I wasn’t a nice person.
After my run in with crystal meth, and my soul was at it’s lowest point, I dealt with this, and it was painful. I turned that raging anger and hatred that I felt for another human being into a positive powerful force that drove me forward with a blind determination and an attitude that could not be stopped. It helped me to survive detox, rebuilding, living in my fucking jeep wrangler…I am 6’1”…not much room in that jeep, and becoming a human being again.
I was able to actually share and be kind and I realized that I was a good kid who was a victim of circumstance and that I was everything that my first stepfather wasn’t and that is what he tried to destroy what I was. Because he was an unhappy person
Oh wow, I actually put this into words. I am not afraid to admit that I have tears rolling down my face but I feel happy!!!
Thank you
@Mobster and
@stevesmi and
@HarleyGuy and @ Noah
Remember everyone, WE MATTER!!
I hope everyone has the best day!!!
I know I will for sure!!!