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Talking to PT about Testosterone

vanlife_gymbum

V.I.P.
EVO Logger
Hey guys - I'm new to lifting. I have had a PT for five months and it's going great. He's 60 and started at 40, I'm 40 now too so that sounded good.

He got very far I think as var as natural bodybuilding and and supplement store type shit goes. He's a professional sports referee and has reffed All Blacks games and also knows All Blacks who approach in the gym. Apparently young girls are into them these days, or maybe it was my new haircut

Do you guys think I should tell him I'm taking Sports TRT now or it won't matter or get in the way? He's a reasonable bloke it'll be okay, but I'm equally happy to avoid it haha
 
Post a log brother so we can see those TRT gains

I'm about to log my day 5 pins, just finishing up at the methadone clinic.

There's a line coz it's raining.

Took some public toilet gut shots and logged them yesterday though
 
Hey guys - I'm new to lifting. I have had a PT for five months and it's going great. He's 60 and started at 40, I'm 40 now too so that sounded good.

He got very far I think as var as natural bodybuilding and and supplement store type shit goes. He's a professional sports referee and has reffed All Blacks games and also knows All Blacks who approach in the gym. Apparently young girls are into them these days, or maybe it was my new haircut

Do you guys think I should tell him I'm taking Sports TRT now or it won't matter or get in the way? He's a reasonable bloke it'll be okay, but I'm equally happy to avoid it haha
I think this is all a matter of personal style. My personal style? Don’t tell people who don’t need to know. Does he need to know? Probably not. His job is to guide you and push you, based on your goals and current performance. Which will probably be pretty good because you are enhanced. So he probably is going to wonder, or he’ll straight up know. If knowing would change his approach then he will ask
 
I think this is all a matter of personal style. My personal style? Don’t tell people who don’t need to know. Does he need to know? Probably not. His job is to guide you and push you, based on your goals and current performance. Which will probably be pretty good because you are enhanced. So he probably is going to wonder, or he’ll straight up know. If knowing would change his approach then he will ask

Okay that makes sense thanks. I think my style would be similar to yours, I really want to tell the minimum amount of people.

I've got a childhood friend from Sweden, he's been into/on them for over 20 years - I wanted to join him way back then but I knew what it required and I couldn't manage it. So he knows, and one person close to my family.

I don't think he'll have a problem, just wondering if it matters for my training or not. He does a great job teaching me and pushing me during our hour a week together, but I'm on my own after that. I've learnt TONS from him in the last 5 months & I'm really happy about that - I think it's time to tighten things up.

I had been making sure Tuesday was a rest day so I'm good for our Wednesday sessions. But I never got a proper lifting schedule together which is what I'm writing up today so I can try get feedback about it from the forum
 
Post a log brother so we can see those TRT gains

Could you let me know if I'm posting my log entries correctly please bro?

I just make a new message reply on my Log thread, the one in my forum signature.

It's day 5 today and I have had one meal but not done pin yet.

The last 4 days I've sort of just written a message on my log thread for each thing as I do them thorough the day, so usually like 4 messages a day that would be part of my official Log.

Maybe I should save them all for one daily entry? or summarize all the posts I've made that day?

I'm trying to make it easy for others to read.

How do you follow others in practical terms? I follow the user as I come across them, and everyone who talks with me in reply or whatever but each day do you just go through all threads and all unread messages or is there an official feature for new log entries?
 
Hey guys - I'm new to lifting. I have had a PT for five months and it's going great. He's 60 and started at 40, I'm 40 now too so that sounded good.

He got very far I think as var as natural bodybuilding and and supplement store type shit goes. He's a professional sports referee and has reffed All Blacks games and also knows All Blacks who approach in the gym. Apparently young girls are into them these days, or maybe it was my new haircut

Do you guys think I should tell him I'm taking Sports TRT now or it won't matter or get in the way? He's a reasonable bloke it'll be okay, but I'm equally happy to avoid it haha
Keep that to yourself for now. He’s there to guide your lifting, not judge what’s running through your system. If you tell him, it changes the dynamic and might even put him in a weird spot. Progress in the gym will show regardless and you don’t owe him that detail. Focus on training, consistency, and listening to his cues. If down the line you feel it truly impacts programming, then maybe mention it, but otherwise keep it private. @vanlife_gymbum
Could you let me know if I'm posting my log entries correctly please bro?

I just make a new message reply on my Log thread, the one in my forum signature.

It's day 5 today and I have had one meal but not done pin yet.

The last 4 days I've sort of just written a message on my log thread for each thing as I do them thorough the day, so usually like 4 messages a day that would be part of my official Log.

Maybe I should save them all for one daily entry? or summarize all the posts I've made that day?

I'm trying to make it easy for others to read.

How do you follow others in practical terms? I follow the user as I come across them, and everyone who talks with me in reply or whatever but each day do you just go through all threads and all unread messages or is there an official feature for new log entries?
Actually your log is one of the most detailed in the EVO family keep going the same way :D
 
Keep that to yourself for now. He’s there to guide your lifting, not judge what’s running through your system. If you tell him, it changes the dynamic and might even put him in a weird spot. Progress in the gym will show regardless and you don’t owe him that detail. Focus on training, consistency, and listening to his cues. If down the line you feel it truly impacts programming, then maybe mention it, but otherwise keep it private. @vanlife_gymbum

Okay man thanks very much, this is the type of answer I was after. I've only told my brother in law so he knows what happened incase anything goes wrong but otherwise I want to keep in private and just share all the details here on Evo.

Gonna tell my mother about the TRT down the line after I'm stable and it's been proven successful.

Actually your log is one of the most detailed in the EVO family keep going the same way :D

Oh great, thanks man. I'm figuring out how the forum works slowly but surely.

This is the most amazing group I've ever encountered, seriously.
 
Okay man thanks very much, this is the type of answer I was after. I've only told my brother in law so he knows what happened incase anything goes wrong but otherwise I want to keep in private and just share all the details here on Evo.

Gonna tell my mother about the TRT down the line after I'm stable and it's been proven successful.



Oh great, thanks man. I'm figuring out how the forum works slowly but surely.

This is the most amazing group I've ever encountered, seriously.
Always keep things private if you can :D
 
Hey guys - I'm new to lifting. I have had a PT for five months and it's going great. He's 60 and started at 40, I'm 40 now too so that sounded good.

He got very far I think as var as natural bodybuilding and and supplement store type shit goes. He's a professional sports referee and has reffed All Blacks games and also knows All Blacks who approach in the gym. Apparently young girls are into them these days, or maybe it was my new haircut

Do you guys think I should tell him I'm taking Sports TRT now or it won't matter or get in the way? He's a reasonable bloke it'll be okay, but I'm equally happy to avoid it haha
Only if YOU was an All Black
 
no clue what all blacks is and googled it and its a rugby league. yeah its true a lot of chicks are into jocks.

anyway i don't think it matters to tell him. its not like you are using lots of gear
 
Hey guys - I'm new to lifting. I have had a PT for five months and it's going great. He's 60 and started at 40, I'm 40 now too so that sounded good.

He got very far I think as var as natural bodybuilding and and supplement store type shit goes. He's a professional sports referee and has reffed All Blacks games and also knows All Blacks who approach in the gym. Apparently young girls are into them these days, or maybe it was my new haircut

Do you guys think I should tell him I'm taking Sports TRT now or it won't matter or get in the way? He's a reasonable bloke it'll be okay, but I'm equally happy to avoid it haha
bro tell yo PT you on tren and that bodymonster approves
 
Hey guys - I'm new to lifting. I have had a PT for five months and it's going great. He's 60 and started at 40, I'm 40 now too so that sounded good.

He got very far I think as var as natural bodybuilding and and supplement store type shit goes. He's a professional sports referee and has reffed All Blacks games and also knows All Blacks who approach in the gym. Apparently young girls are into them these days, or maybe it was my new haircut

Do you guys think I should tell him I'm taking Sports TRT now or it won't matter or get in the way? He's a reasonable bloke it'll be okay, but I'm equally happy to avoid it haha
i don't think its anyones business what you are taking. it should have no bearing on your training
 
Hey guys - I'm new to lifting. I have had a PT for five months and it's going great. He's 60 and started at 40, I'm 40 now too so that sounded good.

He got very far I think as var as natural bodybuilding and and supplement store type shit goes. He's a professional sports referee and has reffed All Blacks games and also knows All Blacks who approach in the gym. Apparently young girls are into them these days, or maybe it was my new haircut

Do you guys think I should tell him I'm taking Sports TRT now or it won't matter or get in the way? He's a reasonable bloke it'll be okay, but I'm equally happy to avoid it haha
bros a PT should help you with training. they shouldn't lend advice on steroids IMO
 
Hey guys - I'm new to lifting. I have had a PT for five months and it's going great. He's 60 and started at 40, I'm 40 now too so that sounded good.

He got very far I think as var as natural bodybuilding and and supplement store type shit goes. He's a professional sports referee and has reffed All Blacks games and also knows All Blacks who approach in the gym. Apparently young girls are into them these days, or maybe it was my new haircut

Do you guys think I should tell him I'm taking Sports TRT now or it won't matter or get in the way? He's a reasonable bloke it'll be okay, but I'm equally happy to avoid it haha
i wouldn't discuss steroids outside the forum. its not worth the heat
 
i wouldn't discuss steroids outside the forum. its not worth the heat
Happens all the time at mine. No big deal.

The 'All Blacks' are the top Oz Rugby team. One of the best in the world. England's team, for example, are also called 'The Lions'
 
i don't think its anyones business what you are taking. it should have no bearing on your training
Okay sweet bro thanks for your input, I was hoping would be the answer
 
The 'All Blacks' are the top Oz Rugby team. One of the best in the world. England's team, for example, are also called 'The Lions'

I see what you did there ;)
 
i wouldn't discuss steroids outside the forum. its not worth the heat
Okay bro thank you, I agree. There's weird stigma in NZ too. I already don't say the word "steriods" it has too much baggage.

But I overanalyse everything and I'm really afraid of getting hurt in training
 
bros a PT should help you with training. they shouldn't lend advice on steroids IMO

Okay thanks bro, I agree with that. I'm really worried about getting hurt training. I've already broken both arms, both legs, L1 and L2 fractures and some more stuff, I feel like I might fuck up and stir all that shit up again
 
Not the kinda chicks I'm into bro 😅
They secretly are. I used to be a big ole hippy. Dreads and everything. Complete reject to and from society. I’ll see all the old girls around and it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. The only difference is they don’t want their other guys to know. They keep the limp wrists around for their social reasons, habits, housing, etc. But they like buff dudes. Maaaaybe not so much social jocks or dudes that talk about fitness and nutrition like they are flirting. But if you still speak their language AND you’re jacked, forget about it. And they tell their friends. It’s a whore fest. I like the ones that got sober. Just don’t get a house and they won’t stay
 
They secretly are. I used to be a big ole hippy. Dreads and everything. Complete reject to and from society. I’ll see all the old girls around and it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. The only difference is they don’t want their other guys to know. They keep the limp wrists around for their social reasons, habits, housing, etc. But they like buff dudes. Maaaaybe not so much social jocks or dudes that talk about fitness and nutrition like they are flirting. But if you still speak their language AND you’re jacked, forget about it. And they tell their friends. It’s a whore fest. I like the ones that got sober. Just don’t get a house and they won’t stay

Haha this is awesome shit bro, we are saying the same thing 🤣

I didn't even stop getting laid when I stopped showering, losing my career and house was the best thing that happened to my dating life, it's crazy.

I prefer not to call them whores, but yeah I like them too haha. I had to make a rule not to fuck anyone from meetings again, it went south quickly...

"Shopping spree at the broken toy shop"
 
Haha this is awesome shit bro, we are saying the same thing 🤣

I didn't even stop getting laid when I stopped showering, losing my career and house was the best thing that happened to my dating life, it's crazy.

I prefer not to call them whores, but yeah I like them too haha. I had to make a rule not to fuck anyone from meetings again, it went south quickly...

"Shopping spree at the broken toy shop"
Yeeeeaaaah I guess I don’t know how else to say it. I don’t actually feel disrespect for the women that have come and gone in my life, even if few have made my life difficult. But what do you say when one of them gives it up on the boat before you even get it off the lift, tells her friends, and then two more line up because she told them? How do you say that nicely? 🤷‍♂️.

It’s actually been a year or so that I’ve been really avoiding this behavior. I’m trying to lock one down and it’s a little awkward taking her and her kids to a restaurant in the river and seeing these women there. That lifestyle can chase you forever and really paint you into a corner
 
Yeeeeaaaah I guess I don’t know how else to say it. I don’t actually feel disrespect for the women that have come and gone in my life, even if few have made my life difficult. But what do you say when one of them gives it up on the boat before you even get it off the lift, tells her friends, and then two more line up because she told them? How do you say that nicely? 🤷‍♂️.

"Thank you God" works for me haha
 
It’s actually been a year or so that I’ve been really avoiding this behavior. I’m trying to lock one down and it’s a little awkward taking her and her kids to a restaurant in the river and seeing these women there. That lifestyle can chase you forever and really paint you into a corner

Mind if I ask how old you are (I'm 40) and what is your longest monogamous relationship?
 
Mind if I ask how old you are (I'm 40) and what is your longest monogamous relationship?
I’m 46. I was faithfully married for nine years. Before that, I traveled for work and never went home. We’re would stay in hotels and prowl for women to shack up with as soon as we hit a new town. You get good at it. I went home for Christmas one year, and slept with my foreman’s girlfriend’s sister, who told me she was on birth control, but was not.

It was cool for a long time. Being a dad did a lot for me. After the second kid she got post partum depression (figured this out much later) and we struggled and eventually she was acting out and it was untenable. We had both developed an alcohol problem but she was hiding a much bigger one. She started cheating and I knew right away. There was no way I was going to work that out. I left because I didn’t want to expose the kids to the extremely toxic environment that had developed. I did try to hold it together for a little bit but there was no way. It was the right thing to do. At first I was super stoic and believed it was all for the best but it wasn’t long before the court stuff got nasty, I was being dragged through the mud, all of it was my fault everything projected on me, and the whole time she was trying to get me back. When I was alienated from my kids I went off the rails for a bit. Let my previously controlled drug use spiral out of control. Burned my own world down. Went to jail twice. Got my shit together big time and then she finally hit rock bottom and continued to bounce for several years, eventually ending in me becoming a single dad and the kids live with me to this day. They’re 21 and 23.

I’ve had 4? one year + relationships since the divorce some 11 years ago, and dozens of flash in the pans and one night stands and fuck buddies. It’s hard to even think about. Wasted a lot of time
 
Okay thanks bro, I agree with that. I'm really worried about getting hurt training. I've already broken both arms, both legs, L1 and L2 fractures and some more stuff, I feel like I might fuck up and stir all that shit up again
steroids do increase the chance of getting injured for many reasons. if you are worried just stick to orals here and there
 
Okay thanks bro, I agree with that. I'm really worried about getting hurt training. I've already broken both arms, both legs, L1 and L2 fractures and some more stuff, I feel like I might fuck up and stir all that shit up again
I’m pretty beat up too. Train smart. Test will increase your bone density but it will progress your strength unnaturally quickly. If used wisely it can help. It has unquestionably helped me. Broke my left wrist, bad, twice. Left humorous. My whole thoracic spine is self fused since my twenties. Deformed vertebrae with stenosis. Herniated discs in my neck. But I do things young athletes can’t do and I’m living good🤞
 
steroids do increase the chance of getting injured for many reasons. if you are worried just stick to orals here and there

Yeah I've been on the fence about them for a long time, not for that reason but still, factored it in a lot

What my goals are is slow, steady progression. So far to work up to it I have:

1. Switched from smoking to vaping and reintroducing some cardiovascular exercise that makes me puffed, like skateboarding, not just walking.
I've always walked at least 20km a day running around town scoring drugs at lunchtime but it never amounts to anything for me progression wise

2. Quit IV drug use and all opiods apart from methadone

3. Stop eating takeaway food and confectionery (still have some issues but getting there)

4. Complete two month rehabilitation program regarding my L2 fractures.
Went good but later in 2021 I tried to start swimming again and threw my back out again from twisting

5. Quit drinking via hospital detox and antabuse medication

6. Start group classes at the gym, did this for a year in addition to 2 hours of roller derby last year and leading up to getting a PT five months ago

7. Get a personal trainer and start working on learning correct form as a high priority.
My PT is a technical sports coach, forget his qualifications but they're relevant and specialised.
He is trained in recovery training, like working around injuries and stuff.

8. Research and find a safe and reliable source of Testosterone and begin self administered TRT.

Lifting was not the original motivation to do TRT, but I want it to become one of the core pillars of my lifestyle.

Alongside diet, meditation, study, research and connection with others.

Now I'm confident with enough lifting techniques and machines that for those I feel I'm ready to start increasing the intensity.

But I over analyse everything and thought I'd just put it out there so I don't spent the next 17 years thinking if through and not doing shit about it.

Thanks for your help bro
 
Yeah I've been on the fence about them for a long time, not for that reason but still, factored it in a lot

What my goals are is slow, steady progression. So far to work up to it I have:

1. Switched from smoking to vaping and reintroducing some cardiovascular exercise that makes me puffed, like skateboarding, not just walking.
I've always walked at least 20km a day running around town scoring drugs at lunchtime but it never amounts to anything for me progression wise

2. Quit IV drug use and all opiods apart from methadone

3. Stop eating takeaway food and confectionery (still have some issues but getting there)

4. Complete two month rehabilitation program regarding my L2 fractures.
Went good but later in 2021 I tried to start swimming again and threw my back out again from twisting

5. Quit drinking via hospital detox and antabuse medication

6. Start group classes at the gym, did this for a year in addition to 2 hours of roller derby last year and leading up to getting a PT five months ago

7. Get a personal trainer and start working on learning correct form as a high priority.
My PT is a technical sports coach, forget his qualifications but they're relevant and specialised.
He is trained in recovery training, like working around injuries and stuff.

8. Research and find a safe and reliable source of Testosterone and begin self administered TRT.

Lifting was not the original motivation to do TRT, but I want it to become one of the core pillars of my lifestyle.

Alongside diet, meditation, study, research and connection with others.

Now I'm confident with enough lifting techniques and machines that for those I feel I'm ready to start increasing the intensity.

But I over analyse everything and thought I'd just put it out there so I don't spent the next 17 years thinking if through and not doing shit about it.

Thanks for your help bro
You're actually the best example how to change your life, truly a shift in life night and day :D

Start with testosterone as you have been TRT style and move things up as you go.
 
Yeah I've been on the fence about them for a long time, not for that reason but still, factored it in a lot

What my goals are is slow, steady progression. So far to work up to it I have:

1. Switched from smoking to vaping and reintroducing some cardiovascular exercise that makes me puffed, like skateboarding, not just walking.
I've always walked at least 20km a day running around town scoring drugs at lunchtime but it never amounts to anything for me progression wise

2. Quit IV drug use and all opiods apart from methadone

3. Stop eating takeaway food and confectionery (still have some issues but getting there)

4. Complete two month rehabilitation program regarding my L2 fractures.
Went good but later in 2021 I tried to start swimming again and threw my back out again from twisting

5. Quit drinking via hospital detox and antabuse medication

6. Start group classes at the gym, did this for a year in addition to 2 hours of roller derby last year and leading up to getting a PT five months ago

7. Get a personal trainer and start working on learning correct form as a high priority.
My PT is a technical sports coach, forget his qualifications but they're relevant and specialised.
He is trained in recovery training, like working around injuries and stuff.

8. Research and find a safe and reliable source of Testosterone and begin self administered TRT.

Lifting was not the original motivation to do TRT, but I want it to become one of the core pillars of my lifestyle.

Alongside diet, meditation, study, research and connection with others.

Now I'm confident with enough lifting techniques and machines that for those I feel I'm ready to start increasing the intensity.

But I over analyse everything and thought I'd just put it out there so I don't spent the next 17 years thinking if through and not doing shit about it.

Thanks for your help bro
that all is a start. but vaping is super bad for you. it still has tons of chemicals
 
a lot of personal trainers put their clients on steroids as the easy way out

Yeah I bet they do. A random PT at a fairly mainstream gym in Australia gave a girl I know Anavar.

She figured out something was wrong because she started growing a beard.
 
that all is a start. but vaping is super bad for you. it still has tons of chemicals

You're right, I forgot to mention I stopped that too, I'm on week nine now.

I'm doing the NZ government's NRT program, basically six months of a three stage patch and gum taper.

I logged about it yesterday.
 
You're actually the best example how to change your life, truly a shift in life night and day :D

Start with testosterone as you have been TRT style and move things up as you go.
Thanks bro, I can't tell you how much you personally have helped me with all this too, it's been amazing.

It is happening fast though, I think because I really did have medication-induced crashed testosterone it's having a more profound affect on me than a normal guy
 
well its cause they want a short cut. they want their clients to get faster results

Yeah... I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I gave someone something that would permanently fuck them up.
 
Thanks bro, I can't tell you how much you personally have helped me with all this too, it's been amazing.

It is happening fast though, I think because I really did have medication-induced crashed testosterone it's having a more profound affect on me than a normal guy
Both prescribed and those you scored will have had a negative effect on test levels. By way of example high cannabis use does
 
Both prescribed and those you scored will have had a negative effect on test levels. By way of example high cannabis use does

Yup, that's spot on. Only take prescribed medication now after alcohol detox two years ago. I don't use this as an excuse though, these doctors are crooked as shit, their permission/approval means nothing here. But it's not illegal.

I take 90mg of methadone and 10g a week of MC but I haven't had it this past week because I needed to get Nolvadex, and my sleep is out of whack because of it.

Also could be I've got a lot on my mind but I had my circadian rhythms ticking over well for a while there and was sleeping 9pm to 5am.

I heard you can get tits from cannabis use too. Maybe that's why I've always had a respectable cup size.

I think the methadone is an important part of my recovery and I want to stay stable on it for now, but now that @HarleyGuy is my 12 Step sponsor this is on the table for debate same as everything else.

Thanks for your reply @Mobster a few things you said about recovery and addiction on your pod cast really helped and got through to me.
 
You're right, I forgot to mention I stopped that too, I'm on week nine now.

I'm doing the NZ government's NRT program, basically six months of a three stage patch and gum taper.

I logged about it yesterday.

mate, you need to get onto retatrutide. It has the amazing ability to stop cravings, not only for food, but other vices you may have. Since i started reta, i've had zero desire to drink. i used to drink a couple of beers/mixers every night.
I've read about people kicking cravings for narcotics, cigarettes etc with reta.
 
I’m 46. I was faithfully married for nine years. Before that, I traveled for work and never went home. We’re would stay in hotels and prowl for women to shack up with as soon as we hit a new town. You get good at it. I went home for Christmas one year, and slept with my foreman’s girlfriend’s sister, who told me she was on birth control, but was not.

Sorry brother I missed this yesterday somehow. Wow you're not wrong, we do have a lot in common. This is almost exactly what happened to me.

They always let me out the next day after I sobered up, sometimes billed me on behalf of inn keepers and whatever from the night before.

My corporate Amex at PwC had some interesting charges on it.. can get away with a lot if you frame yourself the right way haha.

It was cool for a long time. Being a dad did a lot for me. After the second kid she got post partum depression (figured this out much later) and we struggled and eventually she was acting out and it was untenable. We had both developed an alcohol problem but she was hiding a much bigger one. She started cheating and I knew right away.

It did a lot for me initially too, I worked full time and we had a big two story house in a nice area in Brisbane in Australia and I finished by 5 and took him and did the rest of the shit with him until he was asleep. Feed her and then retire to my basement and blackout. Was working okay fo a year.

There was no way I was going to work that out. I left because I didn’t want to expose the kids to the extremely toxic environment that had developed. I did try to hold it together for a little bit but there was no way. It was the right thing to do.

Definatly was the right thing to do man. I can't read others very well and it gets me into trouble. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, even when it retrospect I can see there were glaring red flags.

I didn't want my kid exposed to that either, or to be part of that at all. I didn't really have a plan, I left and gave her $3k aud a month (30%) to get a house and stuff for him. We'd already spent about 30k on having him and buying shit. God there's nothing more awful than baby related shopping sprees. It's awful. In the end all she used none of the ahit and I used his harness to walk him sometimes but mostly pushed him around the block on my skateboard while we walked her three fucking dogs she was too lazy to walk.

Why do all fat girls have fucking dogs they don't walk? At least get a fucking cat that can walk itself.

This has happened to me four fucking times now. With a different girlfriend I even paid ($4k all up) to take one over to Australia with us. Paid for it to be put down over there too. Lazy bitch.

At first I was super stoic and believed it was all for the best but it wasn’t long before the court stuff got nasty, I was being dragged through the mud, all of it was my fault everything projected on me, and the whole time she was trying to get me back. When I was alienated from my kids I went off the rails for a bit. Let my previously controlled drug use spiral out of control. Burned my own world down. Went to jail twice. Got my shit together big time and then she finally hit rock bottom and continued to bounce for several years, eventually ending in me becoming a single dad and the kids live with me to this day. They’re 21 and 23.

Exactly the same as me bro. I'm not good at reading people but you don't expect people to lie and say things like that.

It's why I'm just going to log everything in the open here, there's very little everyone doesn't already know anyway. Maybe as well have logs.

I'm glad I gave her that $3k a month via the tax department, she tried to tell someone I didn't pay her one time. She's not as bright as I initially hoped either.

I've never been cheated on but that would be it for me too. I can let pretty much anything slide or accept flaws and shit in others but that's something different.

It's proof that one of your foundational variables is not true and you've built your relationship on a base of lies. I'm proud of you bro, that was 100% the right move for you and your kids. And you were there for them when she finally burnt her life to the ground too.

I’ve had 4? one year + relationships since the divorce some 11 years ago, and dozens of flash in the pans and one night stands and fuck buddies. It’s hard to even think about. Wasted a lot of time
Cool man I just asked so I'd know how to Taylor what I was tonna say, but you already did everything the way I would have anyway.

Ah well man, we will improve our romantic relationships or casual encounters as we prove ourselves following The Path. I'm better at casual relationships than most, honesty and vulnerability gets you soo far in this situation.

Some guys think about "adding another one to thr rotation" or whatever and talk about woman like they are pokemon cards or some shit.

One workmate talked about woman like this so much that when I ran into him with one of them and knew who she was from his office chat I said "Hey Wednesday, I'm John. Nice to meet you" and it got awkward. Turns out her name was Jane, he just fucked her on Wednesdays..

How is this fulfilling? I like to hang out with girls, it's one of my favourite things to do, a core way I get connection with others and human interaction. We want to bang of course but do other shit with them too. Most people are interesting in some way and have something to show you or teach you and you get to try lots of different shit.

One chick I know has a 1984 Toyota Starlet, she picks me up and we go street racing. Scares the shit out of me but there's nothing like the sense of an impending high-speed collision forcing you to accept you're about to die to make you feel alive.

I juggle fire-clubs on the beach with one chick, go hunting at 2nd hand book stores with another, play dressup at the City Mission thrift store with another, then we go to her place and modify them with her sewing machine. Dress each other up, take pictures for the spank-bank later, etc.. its so much fun and obviously not something I cam do with my heterosexual guy friends.

Also when my first van I lived in got stolen I had a lot of places to stay. They were just chicks I met on tinder and had banged a couple of times, but as I was honest about my intentions at the start and made sure they accepted them (many did not too) we really were friends as well, so I could ask. You can't do that with chicks you treat like numbers, they wouldn't even reply I bet.

One chick I picked up by kinda making it look like I could read tarot cards and was in a tricky spot when she got super interested and wanted me to teach her, the lie spiralled so quick I had to come clean and told her about the memorisation system I used to learn Japanese kanji characters, spaced repetition flashcards, and proposed we learn them together with that and that was fun for a while, but she got a boyfriend and we stopped.

I've written books with girls, been to their pole dancing and belly dancing competitions, I went to support one getting into roller derby and ended up joining myself, I could go on... I want way more out of chicks than just banging so I can tell the guys at work about it. That's weaksauce to me.

Shit that got a bit out of hand, sorry bro. Just FYI if you ever need someone to talk to about girls or relationship problems or drinking or anything, I'm available any time.

Guys from meetings call me just to dump random shit out quite often, it's part of how those groups work.
 
Thanks bro, I can't tell you how much you personally have helped me with all this too, it's been amazing.

It is happening fast though, I think because I really did have medication-induced crashed testosterone it's having a more profound affect on me than a normal guy
EVO family always has your back and we love and support you :D @vanlife_gymbum your life will change big time, stay on course.
 
mate, you need to get onto retatrutide. It has the amazing ability to stop cravings, not only for food, but other vices you may have. Since i started reta, i've had zero desire to drink. i used to drink a couple of beers/mixers every night.
I've read about people kicking cravings for narcotics, cigarettes etc with reta.

That's very interesting thanks bro! I had kinda heard about that but didn't know it worked quite like that.

There's a podcast episode where @Mobster and @stevesmi are discussing a user's forum log, dude who would drink beer in secret when his wife was off at work and he started on the reta but stopped because it limited how much booze he could get in and potentially chose the beer.

I figured that was just a physical thing though wo I'm interested in looking it up. I dont drink at all anymore (2 years) if I were to have even one it would trigger the phenomenon of craving and I would wake up at the police station again and would be very lost.

I'm not going to do that today though.

I'm on Antabuse too and would likely be hospitalised if I attempted it, that's what happened to my dad in the 80s haha.

How long have you been using reta bro? I'll definitely follow your log from here man, we have some similar aims.

The retatrutide is in the mail, I'm going to take that alongside testosterone enanthate at 300mg a week from Life Forge / @SaintSoup and log it here and post my blood work and the like.

Thanks for the info bro!
 
You're right, I forgot to mention I stopped that too, I'm on week nine now.

I'm doing the NZ government's NRT program, basically six months of a three stage patch and gum taper.

I logged about it yesterday.
that is good. vaping fries the brain
 
that is good. vaping fries the brain

Its definitely not going to help, like you said =)

I have a lot to say on the subject, I'm gonna write some shit for the forum about it in the future
 
yeah you should

Okay man you got a deal. I smoked for
twenty years then vaped for four or five.. well, I used tobacco, smoking kinda makes it sound like a hobby. I smoked about 30 grams a day

I'm on week nine of NRT, patches and gum from the government. It's going good I logged about it a bit. Feel better lung capacity and an increase in energy.

Not as massive as it was going from smoking to vaping tho, that was a profound improvement but like 20% extra I'd say. Definitely worth it. I'm starting to feel like a retard for staying on them for so long.

At work I could only average four fags an hour. Took about seven minutes average to get down a high rise office building elevator, choke one back and run back up, four times an hour and that's 29 minutes out of every hour billed to the client for my smoking.

PwC pimped me out at $580 AUD per hour and I think 8 hours day. I don't care about that sort of thing so 100% sure.

So about 49% absence from desk. Really cuts into coffee breaks and shit if you add it up.

They don't know how lucky they are though.

Marching computer hackers through the front door and setting them up on your network in an effort to secure your network is not as clever an idea as PwC salesman make it out.
 
No need to tell him imo

Yeah I decided not to. I'm not keen to tell too many people. Just want to share with the guys on The Forum.

One person close to my family knows but other than that I'll keep it to myself. Will explain testosterone therapy to my parents another year, once it's worked, so they can already see the results first, not just selling them on an idea that might not work out.
 
yeah you should

How are you doing anyway brother? Things okay in your head about your kid and shit? I've been thinking about mine a bit.

I used to try and mentally route around it, atcually my brain sort of just did this for me, but I gotta stop being a coward and face this.
 
Yeah I bet they do. A random PT at a fairly mainstream gym in Australia gave a girl I know Anavar.

She figured out something was wrong because she started growing a beard.
A girl I know took 1 2.5mg medicine grade anavar and it threw her period off two days. She said that never happens to her ever. Super fit 23 year old athlete
 
How are you doing anyway brother? Things okay in your head about your kid and shit? I've been thinking about mine a bit.

I used to try and mentally route around it, atcually my brain sort of just did this for me, but I gotta stop being a coward and face this.
You’ll be glad you did. It can be soooo hard with the mom and all. I grew up until I was 8, my dad was basically a mythical person to me. I knew he was a soldier and a mechanic and he had a bad temper. Was told a lot of things that weren’t true about him.
 
You’ll be glad you did. It can be soooo hard with the mom and all. I grew up until I was 8, my dad was basically a mythical person to me. I knew he was a soldier and a mechanic and he had a bad temper. Was told a lot of things that weren’t true about him.

That's harsh bro. I'm blessed not to have a temper but know a lot of people who do. It makes it very easy for others to paint them in a negative light any time they have an "emotion". The standards for him are wildly different, especially in court in America.

Don't need to paint me in a bad light, there's paperwork...

It's not lost on me what this is doing to him.

I just don't know what to do about it. I have one thing going, that is my mum is in direct contact with him. He's clever and he's 9. I got into phone phreaking in 1995 when I was 11, pretty sure I could have dialed a phone number at 9. I was thinking I'd get a internet phone number local to him in Australia that divertd to my cellphone then getting my mum to tell him the number. That way he can just call me doesn't need to get his mother to do it.

I appreciate you bro
 
That's harsh bro. I'm blessed not to have a temper but know a lot of people who do. It makes it very easy for others to paint them in a negative light any time they have an "emotion". The standards for him are wildly different, especially in court in America.

Don't need to paint me in a bad light, there's paperwork...

It's not lost on me what this is doing to him.

I just don't know what to do about it. I have one thing going, that is my mum is in direct contact with him. He's clever and he's 9. I got into phone phreaking in 1995 when I was 11, pretty sure I could have dialed a phone number at 9. I was thinking I'd get a internet phone number local to him in Australia that divertd to my cellphone then getting my mum to tell him the number. That way he can just call me doesn't need to get his mother to do it.

I appreciate you bro
I have these conversations often. Never any easy way to do it. But everything matters, you know? Boys are always like “my dad can beat up your dad” and stuff. Your dad is a huge part of your identity when you are an incomplete human. So he’s got a big piece missing. And it’s ok, right? The world is tough and as one matures they fill in the missing pieces until they are a whole adult. But what to fill it with? I didn’t know
 
How are you doing anyway brother? Things okay in your head about your kid and shit? I've been thinking about mine a bit.

I used to try and mentally route around it, atcually my brain sort of just did this for me, but I gotta stop being a coward and face this.
my man i appreciate you. to be honest I don't ever expect to be okay in the head. has a lot to do with getting beat as a child and being sent off to a reform school at a young age where i got beat more
 
Okay man you got a deal. I smoked for
twenty years then vaped for four or five.. well, I used tobacco, smoking kinda makes it sound like a hobby. I smoked about 30 grams a day

I'm on week nine of NRT, patches and gum from the government. It's going good I logged about it a bit. Feel better lung capacity and an increase in energy.

Not as massive as it was going from smoking to vaping tho, that was a profound improvement but like 20% extra I'd say. Definitely worth it. I'm starting to feel like a retard for staying on them for so long.

At work I could only average four fags an hour. Took about seven minutes average to get down a high rise office building elevator, choke one back and run back up, four times an hour and that's 29 minutes out of every hour billed to the client for my smoking.

PwC pimped me out at $580 AUD per hour and I think 8 hours day. I don't care about that sort of thing so 100% sure.

So about 49% absence from desk. Really cuts into coffee breaks and shit if you add it up.

They don't know how lucky they are though.

Marching computer hackers through the front door and setting them up on your network in an effort to secure your network is not as clever an idea as PwC salesman make it out.
you are a smart guy i can tell.
 
my man i appreciate you. to be honest I don't ever expect to be okay in the head. has a lot to do with getting beat as a child and being sent off to a reform school at a young age where i got beat more

Yeah man that'd fuck you up for sure, some kids got it way worse than others. And as a kid it affects them badly, that's why I'm so worried about what I'm doing to my kid.

But you should expect to be okay bro, you deserve to be. It is possible.

There's no more revenge to be had for the past, as much as we want there to be. And we just fuck ourselves up in the process of trying.
 
Yeah man that'd fuck you up for sure, some kids got it way worse than others. And as a kid it affects them badly, that's why I'm so worried about what I'm doing to my kid.

But you should expect to be okay bro, you deserve to be. It is possible.

There's no more revenge to be had for the past, as much as we want there to be. And we just fuck ourselves up in the process of trying.
without the gym, i would probably have killed myself by now. just being honest. the gym saved my life that is why i am so all in with it
 
without the gym, i would probably have killed myself by now. just being honest. the gym saved my life that is why i am so all in with it

I believe you bro. Without drugs and alcohol I would have shot myself in the head many times over.

This lifestyle is far superior, just takes a while to get everything right.
 
Hey guys - I'm new to lifting. I have had a PT for five months and it's going great. He's 60 and started at 40, I'm 40 now too so that sounded good.

He got very far I think as var as natural bodybuilding and and supplement store type shit goes. He's a professional sports referee and has reffed All Blacks games and also knows All Blacks who approach in the gym. Apparently young girls are into them these days, or maybe it was my new haircut

Do you guys think I should tell him I'm taking Sports TRT now or it won't matter or get in the way? He's a reasonable bloke it'll be okay, but I'm equally happy to avoid it haha
Trt good start use @domestic-supply.com
 
Any good pt will want to know your using, so they can train you accordingly to max your results.

If their natty, don't even bother, they'll have no clue

I ended up ditching the PT in favour of more steak - meat is getting expensive quickly in NZ, or beef at least. I just had a look through your last log and it looks awesome man, I'll have a proper read tonight. I would definitely be interested to hear how dropping back to trt levels after that is going for you if that's what you did.
 
I ended up ditching the PT in favour of more steak - meat is getting expensive quickly in NZ, or beef at least. I just had a look through your last log and it looks awesome man, I'll have a proper read tonight. I would definitely be interested to hear how dropping back to trt levels after that is going for you if that's what you did.
If your going to use peds and want the extra push, use a PT or coach who works with both natural and enhanced clients. Because naturals PTs are limited knowledge wise.

I dropped back to trt after my log, still trained hard, kept up my eating and I held 99-100kg like I always do. Trt or blasting, the principles stay the same, it's just the intensity and volume that needs to drop bro 💪

Always here to help brother
 
If your going to use peds and want the extra push, use a PT or coach who works with both natural and enhanced clients. Because naturals PTs are limited knowledge wise.

Yeah that's why I asked, I wasent sure exactly how things usually go but that was a while ago now and I've been getting so much high quality feedback and advice from the guys here on my log entires that it made more sense to spend that money at the butcher.

I dropped back to trt after my log, still trained hard, kept up my eating and I held 99-100kg like I always do. Trt or blasting, the principles stay the same, it's just the intensity and volume that needs to drop bro 💪

That's good info and nice work man. Holding onto 100kg is impressive. I got to this forum researching self administered TRT and looking for NZ uGLs. I've been taking medication for three years that wrecks my testosterone levels. It basically sucked the life force out of me slowly over those years but the side affects seem to be reversing quickly and all at once now, it's only been three weeks since I started but I feel great.
 
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