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Veteran Log Sustanon Trenomast Deca Dbol Cycle Journal

Ask and you shall receive brother! I love EVO. (see pics) @LevButlerov

I included a pic of everything in my cycle as well. I make my own "Sust" using my own Rx TestE and NF TestP. Pinning once a week means I'm dumping almost 5CC into my ass each time :eek::ROFLMAO:

I will 100% keep it above 400 for the next week and post proof of it too! It's a deal!
Don't.

1) Rotate sites
2) Do 3cc max and pin 2 sites
 
Don't.

1) Rotate sites
2) Do 3cc max and pin 2 sites
That's such a coincidence you mentioned this because I did just go back to pinning e3d. I did that one massive shot and then couldn't imagine putting it in my delts or even quad. I rotate glute, delts, upper outer quad, and sometimes lats. Thanks @Mobster good advice!
 
2MAD yesterday 07Aug2025. Life happened and didn't get home til almost midnight - my son is moving good times LOL. Gym today after work. Will post results.

Despite this diet the scale isn't moving but I'm feeling stronger and looking more dense so I'm happy. If I get to 205 when it's over I'll be happy. Currently 194lbs. Arms are filling out better now finally but you can notice the elbows injury took a toll on my forearms.

Relaxed morning pic attached from yesterday.

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
4030 cals
477g Protein
66g Carbs

242g Fat

Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted

Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2
 

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Ask and you shall receive brother! I love EVO. (see pics) @LevButlerov

I included a pic of everything in my cycle as well. I make my own "Sust" using my own Rx TestE and NF TestP. Pinning once a week means I'm dumping almost 5CC into my ass each time :eek::ROFLMAO:

I will 100% keep it above 400 for the next week and post proof of it too! It's a deal!
bros that a good looking stash. i jealous i want some !
 
When you say 400+g prot is that all from food or you use shakes too. I struggle even getting 3500cals in a day
@Fusion Canada

I rely on 1kg of red meat for meal # 2 and for meal #1 I'm doing a full 1lb carton of egg whites with 1lb of ground red meat (beef or bison). So 1kg morning and 1kg late afternoon of food, all protein and healthy fats. For meal # 1 if I don't cook I use a protein shake with at least 100g P in it.

So I'm getting in 400g protein with either 2kg food in two meals, or 1kg red meat with a shake that is about 2 Litres and fills a massive jug I use to finish it fast in the morning.

Take a look at my daily meals (x 2) they don't vary too much and I'm over 4000 cals most days and over 400g P every day.
 
Ask and you shall receive brother! I love EVO. (see pics) @LevButlerov

I included a pic of everything in my cycle as well. I make my own "Sust" using my own Rx TestE and NF TestP. Pinning once a week means I'm dumping almost 5CC into my ass each time :eek::ROFLMAO:

I will 100% keep it above 400 for the next week and post proof of it too! It's a deal!
@HarleyGuy bro we love EVO too. you ar big part of EVO family. a true champion and i want to see you hit the tren
 
Ask and you shall receive brother! I love EVO. (see pics) @LevButlerov

I included a pic of everything in my cycle as well. I make my own "Sust" using my own Rx TestE and NF TestP. Pinning once a week means I'm dumping almost 5CC into my ass each time :eek::ROFLMAO:

I will 100% keep it above 400 for the next week and post proof of it too! It's a deal!
nice to see this one @HarleyGuy happy that you are killing it. keep up the good work
 
Ask and you shall receive brother! I love EVO. (see pics) @LevButlerov

I included a pic of everything in my cycle as well. I make my own "Sust" using my own Rx TestE and NF TestP. Pinning once a week means I'm dumping almost 5CC into my ass each time :eek::ROFLMAO:

I will 100% keep it above 400 for the next week and post proof of it too! It's a deal!
Things were taken to time to take some pictures of the delicious looking goodies. That's definitely what you want to get for Halloween in your basket. @HarleyGuy hopefully we can see more of this in the future
 
Ask and you shall receive brother! I love EVO. (see pics) @LevButlerov

I included a pic of everything in my cycle as well. I make my own "Sust" using my own Rx TestE and NF TestP. Pinning once a week means I'm dumping almost 5CC into my ass each time :eek::ROFLMAO:

I will 100% keep it above 400 for the next week and post proof of it too! It's a deal!
that is some good looking products! and yes you can make your own test blends by mixing them. a lot of people do it @HarleyGuy
 
Ask and you shall receive brother! I love EVO. (see pics) @LevButlerov

I included a pic of everything in my cycle as well. I make my own "Sust" using my own Rx TestE and NF TestP. Pinning once a week means I'm dumping almost 5CC into my ass each time :eek::ROFLMAO:

I will 100% keep it above 400 for the next week and post proof of it too! It's a deal!
@HarleyGuy products are looking on point!
 
**Cycle update below (back to E3D, with a weekly total)

Workout was top notch today, strength is coming back. Certain movements I can't do yet but I'm really happy to be able to work back and legs. Shoulders and chest are still bothering my elbow tendons a bit but I'm dumbbell pressing 70's with a deep stretch for 8-10 reps which is a great feeling after a 6-week couch potato healing process. Same with shoulder dumbbell press too with 70's too for 6-8 reps and flies as well. Always pyramid up and then do 2 Mike Mentzer type sets to complete failure. Works well with my body.

Diet today was on point with my 1kg of meat being chicken breast tonight instead of red meat which significantly lowers the total calories:

I tend to stick to what I know settles in my gut well and don't switch up too often

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics above)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics above)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Meal # 2 (1kg chicken breast boneless + 2 cups of long stemmed brown rice) total:

1kg chicken breast:
1470 cals
300g P
20g F
0g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P

2 cups long stemmed brown rice:
437 cals
9g P
3.2g F
92g C

Total today:
3145 cals
486g Protein
141g Carbs
72g Fat


Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu) morning fasted
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg @ before bed

Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2

Scale started at 193lbs and this morning was 195lbs so steady as she goes.

***My updated cycle:

E3D injectables (rotate left/right glue, left/right delt, left/right lat, left/right upper outer quad)
300mg Test (200mg TestE + 100mg TestP)
250mg Mast (150 MastE + 100MastP)
100mg TrenA
150mg Deca
50mg DHB (I'm finishing the vial then cutting this out forever)

ED orals
20mg dbol morning

Weekly cycle total:
600mg T
500mg Mast
200mg Tren
300mg Deca
100mg DHB
140mg dbol

See ya's tomorrow.

Questions:
1. Any thoughts on upping the dbol to 40mg or switching to tbol? From what I understand tbol doesn't do anything cosmetic and right now I'm looking at the dbol for the rehab and strength benefits but I'm open to suggestions.
2. Just started the MK677 at 10mg at bed. I think 10mg is where the law of diminishing returns kicks in for MK but correct me if I'm wrong, does anyone use higher? I'm not worried about the grehlin agonism because I'm pinning 2.5mg GLP-3 Retatrutide tomorrow to offset.
 
Last edited:
Man that looks good! Nice touchdown
 
**Cycle update below (back to E3D, with a weekly total)

Workout was top notch today, strength is coming back. Certain movements I can't do yet but I'm really happy to be able to work back and legs. Shoulders and chest are still bothering my elbow tendons a bit but I'm dumbbell pressing 70's with a deep stretch for 8-10 reps which is a great feeling after a 6-week couch potato healing process. Same with shoulder dumbbell press too with 70's too for 6-8 reps and flies as well. Always pyramid up and then do 2 Mike Mentzer type sets to complete failure. Works well with my body.

Diet today was on point with my 1kg of meat being chicken breast tonight instead of red meat which significantly lowers the total calories:

I tend to stick to what I know settles in my gut well and don't switch up too often

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics above)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics above)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Meal # 2 (1kg chicken breast boneless + 2 cups of long stemmed brown rice) total:

1kg chicken breast:
1470 cals
300g P
20g F
0g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P

2 cups long stemmed brown rice:
437 cals
9g P
3.2g F
92g C

Total today:
3145 cals
486g Protein
141g Carbs
72g Fat


Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu) morning fasted
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg @ before bed

Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2

Scale started at 193lbs and this morning was 195lbs so steady as she goes.

***My updated cycle:

E3D injectables (rotate left/right glue, left/right delt, left/right lat, left/right upper outer quad)
300mg Test (200mg TestE + 100mg TestP)
250mg Mast (150 MastE + 100MastP)
100mg TrenA
150mg Deca
50mg DHB (I'm finishing the vial then cutting this out forever)

ED orals
20mg dbol morning

Weekly cycle total:
600mg T
500mg Mast
200mg Tren
300mg Deca
100mg DHB
140mg dbol

See ya's tomorrow.

Questions:
1. Any thoughts on upping the dbol to 40mg or switching to tbol? From what I understand tbol doesn't do anything cosmetic and right now I'm looking at the dbol for the rehab and strength benefits but I'm open to suggestions.
2. Just started the MK677 at 10mg at bed. I think 10mg is where the law of diminishing returns kicks in for MK but correct me if I'm wrong, does anyone use higher? I'm not worried about the grehlin agonism because I'm pinning 2.5mg GLP-3 Retatrutide tomorrow to offset.
you said protein shake see pics, they here? ;) @HarleyGuy didnt see them

and tren and dhb? you beast mode 10000%
1. Any thoughts on upping the dbol to 40mg or switching to tbol? From what I understand tbol doesn't do anything cosmetic and right now I'm looking at the dbol for the rehab and strength benefits but I'm open to suggestions.
i think dbol you can start at 20mgs, if you ok with the dryness 40mgs tbol is better
2. Just started the MK677 at 10mg at bed. I think 10mg is where the law of diminishing returns kicks in for MK but correct me if I'm wrong, does anyone use higher? I'm not worried about the grehlin agonism because I'm pinning 2.5mg GLP-3 Retatrutide tomorrow to offset.
10mgs is enough you dont need more, you can test 20mgs but might get crazy hungry lol
 
you said protein shake see pics, they here? ;) @HarleyGuy didnt see them

and tren and dhb? you beast mode 10000%

i think dbol you can start at 20mgs, if you ok with the dryness 40mgs tbol is better

10mgs is enough you dont need more, you can test 20mgs but might get crazy hungry lol
@Npcclassicphysique champ

Thanks for the feedback. Yessir my protein shakes are epic 2 Litre bombs that I chug all at once.

Ya I'm including the DHB just because I wanna finish the vial and got it on a whim but the research and anecdotal reports has really turned me off it and I'm keeping the dose pretty low

I'll stick with the dbol for now and have some tbol if need be

I'm gonna test the 20mg MK677 tonight since I just pinned 2.5mg Retatrutide so I'll see if that offsets the grehlin agonism.

Thanks again bro!
 
Ask and you shall receive brother! I love EVO. (see pics) @LevButlerov

I included a pic of everything in my cycle as well. I make my own "Sust" using my own Rx TestE and NF TestP. Pinning once a week means I'm dumping almost 5CC into my ass each time :eek::ROFLMAO:

I will 100% keep it above 400 for the next week and post proof of it too! It's a deal!
Beautiful TD
 
3MAD day yesterday with a disgusting cheat meal of chinese beef egg noodles (had me with a food baby til the morning and up 5 lbs of water this morning too!). Freakin chinese food! :ROFLMAO:

Meal # 1 (bigass Protein shake)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F


Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon tenderloin):
2500 cals
220g P
160g F
0 C

Meal # 3 (large beef with egg noodles and vegetables in broth from a noodle house + 2 chicken breasts added)
900+ cals
95g P
125 F
50g C


Total:
4238 cals
419g Protein
71g Carbs
300g Fat


Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
PT-141 (weekend boom boom)
Retatrutide GLP-3 @ 2.5mg
HGH last night 2iu

Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with meal 1 & 3)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 3 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g with Meal # 1

Orals:
20mg dbol ED

Next pin: tomorrow (will post)

Workout:
Couldn't make it to the gym yesterday so I forced myself to do 500 pushups (all sets to failure, rest then start over til I got to 500), 100 lateral raises each arm with 20 lbs (all sets to failure, rest then start over til I got to 100), 1000 crunches (same deal), walking lunges with 30lbs (I find these brutal and get my HR up like crazy). Will hit back hard next gym day.

Today is packing to move and I'm drenched in sweat as I write this having brought packed bins up the stairs all day and loaded into the moving bin, hoping to burn off the chinese food water LOL. A little bit of pain in the elbows injury due to the angle at which I'm carrying the bins up the stairs (not good form LOL) but it's about 75% of the way healed which is amazing in only 8 weeks!
 
@Npcclassicphysique champ

Thanks for the feedback. Yessir my protein shakes are epic 2 Litre bombs that I chug all at once.

Ya I'm including the DHB just because I wanna finish the vial and got it on a whim but the research and anecdotal reports has really turned me off it and I'm keeping the dose pretty low

I'll stick with the dbol for now and have some tbol if need be

I'm gonna test the 20mg MK677 tonight since I just pinned 2.5mg Retatrutide so I'll see if that offsets the grehlin agonism.

Thanks again bro!
thats going to make it shine brother ;) @HarleyGuy the protein is the big play in all
you got a pic of your gear?
 

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@Npcclassicphysique champ Yessir check it out bro! Have my own Rx for TestE too and make my own Sust with it.
That's hot gear, looks like all @Fusion Canada labs really clean too :D @HarleyGuy

how is training today?
3MAD day yesterday with a disgusting cheat meal of chinese beef egg noodles (had me with a food baby til the morning and up 5 lbs of water this morning too!). Freakin chinese food! :ROFLMAO:

Meal # 1 (bigass Protein shake)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F


Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon tenderloin):
2500 cals
220g P
160g F
0 C

Meal # 3 (large beef with egg noodles and vegetables in broth from a noodle house + 2 chicken breasts added)
900+ cals
95g P
125 F
50g C


Total:
4238 cals
419g Protein
71g Carbs
300g Fat


Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
PT-141 (weekend boom boom)
Retatrutide GLP-3 @ 2.5mg
HGH last night 2iu

Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with meal 1 & 3)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 3 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g with Meal # 1

Orals:
20mg dbol ED

Next pin: tomorrow (will post)

Workout:
Couldn't make it to the gym yesterday so I forced myself to do 500 pushups (all sets to failure, rest then start over til I got to 500), 100 lateral raises each arm with 20 lbs (all sets to failure, rest then start over til I got to 100), 1000 crunches (same deal), walking lunges with 30lbs (I find these brutal and get my HR up like crazy). Will hit back hard next gym day.

Today is packing to move and I'm drenched in sweat as I write this having brought packed bins up the stairs all day and loaded into the moving bin, hoping to burn off the chinese food water LOL. A little bit of pain in the elbows injury due to the angle at which I'm carrying the bins up the stairs (not good form LOL) but it's about 75% of the way healed which is amazing in only 8 weeks!
I see monday but how about today?
and you feeling the retatrutide?
 
Good update
 
Nice Pic
 
Training today (@LevButlerov)
Training today was very hopeful. Seated rows were almost back to my old weight; the rows felt great for a deep stretch and then that heavy ass pull in to your core. I find my grip strength was noticeably slightly weaker after the 6-week injury layoff but it will get back there. My grip strength prevented me moreso from going even harder than my elbow tendon injuries. Bent over rows same thing. Lat fly machine (which hits my traps really well too) gave me no problems to failure each set. Overall great day for back. Looking forward to deadlights when I know my injury will hold up. Back pump was great and DOMS have gone away already after being back at it now for a few weeks.

@LevButlerov Thanks for asking about training it's such a relief to be able to be back and to at least go to failure even if it's not as heavy as before.

Diet: (didn't mix it up at all today but learned something about this particular meal #1 - see in red below).

2MAD today .

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 today: That protein shake is thick as all hell and mighty on the macros. When I also add the pound of pressed dried cottage cheese as a side dish I NEED digestive enzymes when I hammer down these two specific foods together (probably the protein combinations). I get a perma protein food baby literally day.

Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
4030 cals
477g Protein
66g Carbs
242g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 20mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2

In the crock pot for tomorrow is a 1.2kg bottom blade roast which will come out like butter. Stay tuned for that update!


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
Draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle. Today left quad upper outer thigh.

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

@LevButlerov After pinning the 2.5 GLP-3 Reta I don't find I get any noticeable effects to speak of except that (even with the MK677) I am in complete control of when and what I eat. I'm never hungry or slip and eat when I know I have to and what I should eat without deviation from that. Even when we were out for an all you can eat buffet I only made time for chicken, beef, pork, and shrimp with no desire to touch anything sweet.

Questions:
1. What digestive enzymes do you recommend are best for high protein intake and the insane baby belly bloat (a rock hard beer gut looking belly) that will help with this?
 

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Bro! It's the shit! Nordic Fusion's Trenomast is a 200mg/ml blend of 100mg TrenA + 100mg MastP. I love it.
@R. AP
Some crazy stuff out there lol - I remember seeing a list of raw powders that can be imported from the Chinese manufacturers a few years ago and this list was bonkers.
 
Training today (@LevButlerov)
Training today was very hopeful. Seated rows were almost back to my old weight; the rows felt great for a deep stretch and then that heavy ass pull in to your core. I find my grip strength was noticeably slightly weaker after the 6-week injury layoff but it will get back there. My grip strength prevented me moreso from going even harder than my elbow tendon injuries. Bent over rows same thing. Lat fly machine (which hits my traps really well too) gave me no problems to failure each set. Overall great day for back. Looking forward to deadlights when I know my injury will hold up. Back pump was great and DOMS have gone away already after being back at it now for a few weeks.

@LevButlerov Thanks for asking about training it's such a relief to be able to be back and to at least go to failure even if it's not as heavy as before.

Diet: (didn't mix it up at all today but learned something about this particular meal #1 - see in red below).

2MAD today .

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 today: That protein shake is thick as all hell and mighty on the macros. When I also add the pound of pressed dried cottage cheese as a side dish I NEED digestive enzymes when I hammer down these two specific foods together (probably the protein combinations). I get a perma protein food baby literally day.

Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
4030 cals
477g Protein
66g Carbs
242g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 20mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2

In the crock pot for tomorrow is a 1.2kg bottom blade roast which will come out like butter. Stay tuned for that update!


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
Draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle. Today left quad upper outer thigh.

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

@LevButlerov After pinning the 2.5 GLP-3 Reta I don't find I get any noticeable effects to speak of except that (even with the MK677) I am in complete control of when and what I eat. I'm never hungry or slip and eat when I know I have to and what I should eat without deviation from that. Even when we were out for an all you can eat buffet I only made time for chicken, beef, pork, and shrimp with no desire to touch anything sweet.

Questions:
1. What digestive enzymes do you recommend are best for high protein intake and the insane baby belly bloat (a rock hard beer gut looking belly) that will help with this?
@HarleyGuy you're keeping protein up I like it, stay this course. :D
@LevButlerov After pinning the 2.5 GLP-3 Reta I don't find I get any noticeable effects to speak of except that (even with the MK677) I am in complete control of when and what I eat. I'm never hungry or slip and eat when I know I have to and what I should eat without deviation from that. Even when we were out for an all you can eat buffet I only made time for chicken, beef, pork, and shrimp with no desire to touch anything sweet.
It takes time to get retatrutide to work, at least 1-2 weeks full use. Once it's dialed in you feel really good.
1. What digestive enzymes do you recommend are best for high protein intake and the insane baby belly bloat (a rock hard beer gut looking belly) that will help with this?
Try NOW brand its not bad, did you add probiotics and psyllium husk?
 
Training today (@LevButlerov)
Training today was very hopeful. Seated rows were almost back to my old weight; the rows felt great for a deep stretch and then that heavy ass pull in to your core. I find my grip strength was noticeably slightly weaker after the 6-week injury layoff but it will get back there. My grip strength prevented me moreso from going even harder than my elbow tendon injuries. Bent over rows same thing. Lat fly machine (which hits my traps really well too) gave me no problems to failure each set. Overall great day for back. Looking forward to deadlights when I know my injury will hold up. Back pump was great and DOMS have gone away already after being back at it now for a few weeks.

@LevButlerov Thanks for asking about training it's such a relief to be able to be back and to at least go to failure even if it's not as heavy as before.

Diet: (didn't mix it up at all today but learned something about this particular meal #1 - see in red below).

2MAD today .

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 today: That protein shake is thick as all hell and mighty on the macros. When I also add the pound of pressed dried cottage cheese as a side dish I NEED digestive enzymes when I hammer down these two specific foods together (probably the protein combinations). I get a perma protein food baby literally day.

Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
4030 cals
477g Protein
66g Carbs
242g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 20mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2

In the crock pot for tomorrow is a 1.2kg bottom blade roast which will come out like butter. Stay tuned for that update!


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
Draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle. Today left quad upper outer thigh.

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

@LevButlerov After pinning the 2.5 GLP-3 Reta I don't find I get any noticeable effects to speak of except that (even with the MK677) I am in complete control of when and what I eat. I'm never hungry or slip and eat when I know I have to and what I should eat without deviation from that. Even when we were out for an all you can eat buffet I only made time for chicken, beef, pork, and shrimp with no desire to touch anything sweet.

Questions:
1. What digestive enzymes do you recommend are best for high protein intake and the insane baby belly bloat (a rock hard beer gut looking belly) that will help with this?
wow what an update man! @Harley i recommend one called DIGEST GOLD. but i also recommend avoiding things that cause bloat in the first place
 
Best Update Yet!

Training today was best day since my injury!

Chest: Started off with chest. Dumbbell press pyramiding up to 70lbs for 10 reps to failure didn't bother my elbow tendons at all. Chest machine to failure and fly machine was amazing. Definitely could feel the dbol pump now and strength is coming back pretty fast. What's remaining of my injury is actually keeping me forced to have perfect form which is really helping get that deep strength and not cheating on form. With going heavier now one wrong move and it taxes my elbow joints and I know my form is way off so it's a blessing in disguise kind of injury!

Deadlift: Then I took the plunge and FINALLY did DEADLIFTS!!! This was the one I was skeptical I could handle yet and I was deadlifting 3 plates near the end for 6 reps. Needless to say I was so amped up about this I took a video of it and sent it to my two sons and my GF just completely psyched that I felt "back"

Shoulders: Finished with shoulders and did dumbbell press to failure pyramiding up to 70's and lateral raise machine which I love going heavy as it hits my traps pretty good too.

Definitely notice the peptides working, deca helping joints, and cycle is helping me push out those last reps I'd otherwise be gassed on. Everything has healed the tendon injury in less than 8 weeks vs the doctor saying it would be 3-6 months! Definitely notice that Test being doubled over Deca takes care of any Deca side effects especially the Deca dick. The masteron seems to be keeping my E2 in check as well. The tren and DHB are tightening me up partitioning nutrients so well I'm getting leaner despite being over my BMR in total cals.

Diet today made me feel like a pro!

2MAD today.

Meal # 1 (1kg flank steak + 1 cup long stemmed brown rice)

1kg flank steak
2400 cals
268g P
70g F
0g C

1 cup brown rice

220 Cals
5g P
46g C
2g F

Meal 1 total:
2620 cals
273g P
46g C
72g F


Workout before meal # 2 (see above for workout)


Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
5412 cals
590g Protein
63g Carbs
284g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK-Cu 50mg/TB-500 10mg/BPC-157 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
**increased** IGF1-LR3 to 50mcg ED (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 15iu) every morning
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
ED NAC 1600mg
ED Biotin 10mg
ED Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
ED Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
ED Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
@LevButlerov ED Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
ED Creatine 20g with meal #1
1.2kg bottom blade roast now will be for tomorrow which will come out like butter. Stay tuned for that update!


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown below:
No gear today. Next shot is Friday. I draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle.

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor/Nandrolone
300mg DHT
Total weekly gear: ~2g

Questions:
@LevButlerov What can I expect to "feel" after 1-2 weeks like you mention? I'm pinning 2.5mg once a week would you recommend a different amount to get the feel or results you're talking about?

Pics from today below:
- Meal # 1 = 1kg flank steak
- Progress pic morning fasted look (feeling fuller and more "3D" especially in the delts but traps are lagging)

Ordering:
- NF Melanotan 2
- NF GLP-1
- Digestive Enzymes @stevesmi Thanks I'll try that out!
 

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Training today (@LevButlerov)
Training today was very hopeful. Seated rows were almost back to my old weight; the rows felt great for a deep stretch and then that heavy ass pull in to your core. I find my grip strength was noticeably slightly weaker after the 6-week injury layoff but it will get back there. My grip strength prevented me moreso from going even harder than my elbow tendon injuries. Bent over rows same thing. Lat fly machine (which hits my traps really well too) gave me no problems to failure each set. Overall great day for back. Looking forward to deadlights when I know my injury will hold up. Back pump was great and DOMS have gone away already after being back at it now for a few weeks.

@LevButlerov Thanks for asking about training it's such a relief to be able to be back and to at least go to failure even if it's not as heavy as before.

Diet: (didn't mix it up at all today but learned something about this particular meal #1 - see in red below).

2MAD today .

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 today: That protein shake is thick as all hell and mighty on the macros. When I also add the pound of pressed dried cottage cheese as a side dish I NEED digestive enzymes when I hammer down these two specific foods together (probably the protein combinations). I get a perma protein food baby literally day.

Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
4030 cals
477g Protein
66g Carbs
242g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 20mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2

In the crock pot for tomorrow is a 1.2kg bottom blade roast which will come out like butter. Stay tuned for that update!


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
Draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle. Today left quad upper outer thigh.

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

@LevButlerov After pinning the 2.5 GLP-3 Reta I don't find I get any noticeable effects to speak of except that (even with the MK677) I am in complete control of when and what I eat. I'm never hungry or slip and eat when I know I have to and what I should eat without deviation from that. Even when we were out for an all you can eat buffet I only made time for chicken, beef, pork, and shrimp with no desire to touch anything sweet.

Questions:
1. What digestive enzymes do you recommend are best for high protein intake and the insane baby belly bloat (a rock hard beer gut looking belly) that will help with this?
@HarleyGuy this one is looking sweet! the PED's are on point. i like the food makes me hungry :P
 
Training today (@LevButlerov)
Training today was very hopeful. Seated rows were almost back to my old weight; the rows felt great for a deep stretch and then that heavy ass pull in to your core. I find my grip strength was noticeably slightly weaker after the 6-week injury layoff but it will get back there. My grip strength prevented me moreso from going even harder than my elbow tendon injuries. Bent over rows same thing. Lat fly machine (which hits my traps really well too) gave me no problems to failure each set. Overall great day for back. Looking forward to deadlights when I know my injury will hold up. Back pump was great and DOMS have gone away already after being back at it now for a few weeks.

@LevButlerov Thanks for asking about training it's such a relief to be able to be back and to at least go to failure even if it's not as heavy as before.

Diet: (didn't mix it up at all today but learned something about this particular meal #1 - see in red below).

2MAD today .

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 today: That protein shake is thick as all hell and mighty on the macros. When I also add the pound of pressed dried cottage cheese as a side dish I NEED digestive enzymes when I hammer down these two specific foods together (probably the protein combinations). I get a perma protein food baby literally day.

Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
4030 cals
477g Protein
66g Carbs
242g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 20mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2

In the crock pot for tomorrow is a 1.2kg bottom blade roast which will come out like butter. Stay tuned for that update!


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
Draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle. Today left quad upper outer thigh.

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

@LevButlerov After pinning the 2.5 GLP-3 Reta I don't find I get any noticeable effects to speak of except that (even with the MK677) I am in complete control of when and what I eat. I'm never hungry or slip and eat when I know I have to and what I should eat without deviation from that. Even when we were out for an all you can eat buffet I only made time for chicken, beef, pork, and shrimp with no desire to touch anything sweet.

Questions:
1. What digestive enzymes do you recommend are best for high protein intake and the insane baby belly bloat (a rock hard beer gut looking belly) that will help with this?
@HarleyGuy the steroids look awesome! look at the variety you are doing. a lot of things are going to be clicking on this one
 
Training today (@LevButlerov)
Training today was very hopeful. Seated rows were almost back to my old weight; the rows felt great for a deep stretch and then that heavy ass pull in to your core. I find my grip strength was noticeably slightly weaker after the 6-week injury layoff but it will get back there. My grip strength prevented me moreso from going even harder than my elbow tendon injuries. Bent over rows same thing. Lat fly machine (which hits my traps really well too) gave me no problems to failure each set. Overall great day for back. Looking forward to deadlights when I know my injury will hold up. Back pump was great and DOMS have gone away already after being back at it now for a few weeks.

@LevButlerov Thanks for asking about training it's such a relief to be able to be back and to at least go to failure even if it's not as heavy as before.

Diet: (didn't mix it up at all today but learned something about this particular meal #1 - see in red below).

2MAD today .

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 today: That protein shake is thick as all hell and mighty on the macros. When I also add the pound of pressed dried cottage cheese as a side dish I NEED digestive enzymes when I hammer down these two specific foods together (probably the protein combinations). I get a perma protein food baby literally day.

Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
4030 cals
477g Protein
66g Carbs
242g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 20mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2

In the crock pot for tomorrow is a 1.2kg bottom blade roast which will come out like butter. Stay tuned for that update!


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
Draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle. Today left quad upper outer thigh.

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

@LevButlerov After pinning the 2.5 GLP-3 Reta I don't find I get any noticeable effects to speak of except that (even with the MK677) I am in complete control of when and what I eat. I'm never hungry or slip and eat when I know I have to and what I should eat without deviation from that. Even when we were out for an all you can eat buffet I only made time for chicken, beef, pork, and shrimp with no desire to touch anything sweet.

Questions:
1. What digestive enzymes do you recommend are best for high protein intake and the insane baby belly bloat (a rock hard beer gut looking belly) that will help with this?
i would say stop eating what is causing your belly to bulge. it means its sitting in your gut and bacteria is eating at it. making you gassy @HarleyGuy
 
Training today (@LevButlerov)
Training today was very hopeful. Seated rows were almost back to my old weight; the rows felt great for a deep stretch and then that heavy ass pull in to your core. I find my grip strength was noticeably slightly weaker after the 6-week injury layoff but it will get back there. My grip strength prevented me moreso from going even harder than my elbow tendon injuries. Bent over rows same thing. Lat fly machine (which hits my traps really well too) gave me no problems to failure each set. Overall great day for back. Looking forward to deadlights when I know my injury will hold up. Back pump was great and DOMS have gone away already after being back at it now for a few weeks.

@LevButlerov Thanks for asking about training it's such a relief to be able to be back and to at least go to failure even if it's not as heavy as before.

Diet: (didn't mix it up at all today but learned something about this particular meal #1 - see in red below).

2MAD today .

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 today: That protein shake is thick as all hell and mighty on the macros. When I also add the pound of pressed dried cottage cheese as a side dish I NEED digestive enzymes when I hammer down these two specific foods together (probably the protein combinations). I get a perma protein food baby literally day.

Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
4030 cals
477g Protein
66g Carbs
242g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 20mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2

In the crock pot for tomorrow is a 1.2kg bottom blade roast which will come out like butter. Stay tuned for that update!


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
Draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle. Today left quad upper outer thigh.

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

@LevButlerov After pinning the 2.5 GLP-3 Reta I don't find I get any noticeable effects to speak of except that (even with the MK677) I am in complete control of when and what I eat. I'm never hungry or slip and eat when I know I have to and what I should eat without deviation from that. Even when we were out for an all you can eat buffet I only made time for chicken, beef, pork, and shrimp with no desire to touch anything sweet.

Questions:
1. What digestive enzymes do you recommend are best for high protein intake and the insane baby belly bloat (a rock hard beer gut looking belly) that will help with this?
@HarleyGuy bros keep up the good work. i love the weekly cycle updates. 800mgs test E is no joke alone. the other stuff is legit, tren and deca together is hardcore
 
Training today (@LevButlerov)
Training today was very hopeful. Seated rows were almost back to my old weight; the rows felt great for a deep stretch and then that heavy ass pull in to your core. I find my grip strength was noticeably slightly weaker after the 6-week injury layoff but it will get back there. My grip strength prevented me moreso from going even harder than my elbow tendon injuries. Bent over rows same thing. Lat fly machine (which hits my traps really well too) gave me no problems to failure each set. Overall great day for back. Looking forward to deadlights when I know my injury will hold up. Back pump was great and DOMS have gone away already after being back at it now for a few weeks.

@LevButlerov Thanks for asking about training it's such a relief to be able to be back and to at least go to failure even if it's not as heavy as before.

Diet: (didn't mix it up at all today but learned something about this particular meal #1 - see in red below).

2MAD today .

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 today: That protein shake is thick as all hell and mighty on the macros. When I also add the pound of pressed dried cottage cheese as a side dish I NEED digestive enzymes when I hammer down these two specific foods together (probably the protein combinations). I get a perma protein food baby literally day.

Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
4030 cals
477g Protein
66g Carbs
242g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 20mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2

In the crock pot for tomorrow is a 1.2kg bottom blade roast which will come out like butter. Stay tuned for that update!


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
Draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle. Today left quad upper outer thigh.

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

@LevButlerov After pinning the 2.5 GLP-3 Reta I don't find I get any noticeable effects to speak of except that (even with the MK677) I am in complete control of when and what I eat. I'm never hungry or slip and eat when I know I have to and what I should eat without deviation from that. Even when we were out for an all you can eat buffet I only made time for chicken, beef, pork, and shrimp with no desire to touch anything sweet.

Questions:
1. What digestive enzymes do you recommend are best for high protein intake and the insane baby belly bloat (a rock hard beer gut looking belly) that will help with this?
bro i love the tren and deca. that a real man stack right here. only thing i would do different is raise dose more. maybe 500mgs tren @HarleyGuy
 
Training today (@LevButlerov)
Training today was very hopeful. Seated rows were almost back to my old weight; the rows felt great for a deep stretch and then that heavy ass pull in to your core. I find my grip strength was noticeably slightly weaker after the 6-week injury layoff but it will get back there. My grip strength prevented me moreso from going even harder than my elbow tendon injuries. Bent over rows same thing. Lat fly machine (which hits my traps really well too) gave me no problems to failure each set. Overall great day for back. Looking forward to deadlights when I know my injury will hold up. Back pump was great and DOMS have gone away already after being back at it now for a few weeks.

@LevButlerov Thanks for asking about training it's such a relief to be able to be back and to at least go to failure even if it's not as heavy as before.

Diet: (didn't mix it up at all today but learned something about this particular meal #1 - see in red below).

2MAD today .

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 today: That protein shake is thick as all hell and mighty on the macros. When I also add the pound of pressed dried cottage cheese as a side dish I NEED digestive enzymes when I hammer down these two specific foods together (probably the protein combinations). I get a perma protein food baby literally day.

Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
4030 cals
477g Protein
66g Carbs
242g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 20mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2

In the crock pot for tomorrow is a 1.2kg bottom blade roast which will come out like butter. Stay tuned for that update!


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
Draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle. Today left quad upper outer thigh.

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

@LevButlerov After pinning the 2.5 GLP-3 Reta I don't find I get any noticeable effects to speak of except that (even with the MK677) I am in complete control of when and what I eat. I'm never hungry or slip and eat when I know I have to and what I should eat without deviation from that. Even when we were out for an all you can eat buffet I only made time for chicken, beef, pork, and shrimp with no desire to touch anything sweet.

Questions:
1. What digestive enzymes do you recommend are best for high protein intake and the insane baby belly bloat (a rock hard beer gut looking belly) that will help with this?
@HarleyGuy awesome log right here! I love eating kimchi with my meals!
 
No gym today. Back, legs, bi's/tri's tomorrow.


2MAD today.

Meal # 1 (dozen eggs and 6 sausage rounds)

12 large eggs:
860 cals
75g P
57g F
5g C

6 sausage rounds:

1200 Cals
60g P
90g F
12g C

Meal 1 total:
2060 cals
135g P
147g F
17g C


Meal # 2 (1.21kg sirloin tip roast - SEE PICS BELOW!) total:

**note: in the crock pot this was so easy to eat the whole thing
2556 cals
252g P
167g F
10g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
5412 cals
404g Protein
314g Fat
27g Carbs



Peptides today:
-GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK-Cu 50mg/TB-500 10mg/BPC-157 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
-IGF1-LR3 to 50mcg ED (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 15iu) every morning
-Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
-MK677 20mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
ED NAC 1600mg
ED Biotin 10mg
ED Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
ED Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
ED Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
ED Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
ED Creatine 20g with meal #1


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown below:
No gear today. Next shot is Friday. I draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle.


Questions:
- Can any of my brother Canadians tell me what platform they use to send bitcoin BTC to @Fusion Canada where the fees aren't insane?
- I'm still hovering around 195-197lbs... it's making me laugh I'm not gaining weight yet. Any suggestions? I put on mass fast and hate to lose the ripped look just FYI.

Pics from today below:
- Meal # 2 = 1.2kg sirloin tip crock pot roast half eaten


Ordered today:
- NF Melanotan 2
- NF GLP-1 (sema)
- Digestive Enzymes (the ones @stevesmi suggested)
 

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No gym today. Back, legs, bi's/tri's tomorrow.


2MAD today.

Meal # 1 (dozen eggs and 6 sausage rounds)

12 large eggs:
860 cals
75g P
57g F
5g C

6 sausage rounds:

1200 Cals
60g P
90g F
12g C

Meal 1 total:
2060 cals
135g P
147g F
17g C


Meal # 2 (1.21kg sirloin tip roast - SEE PICS BELOW!) total:

**note: in the crock pot this was so easy to eat the whole thing
2556 cals
252g P
167g F
10g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
5412 cals
404g Protein
314g Fat
27g Carbs




Peptides today:
-GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK-Cu 50mg/TB-500 10mg/BPC-157 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
-IGF1-LR3 to 50mcg ED (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 15iu) every morning
-Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
-MK677 20mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
ED NAC 1600mg
ED Biotin 10mg
ED Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
ED Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
ED Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
ED Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
ED Creatine 20g with meal #1


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown below:
No gear today. Next shot is Friday. I draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle.


Questions:
- Can any of my brother Canadians tell me what platform they use to send bitcoin BTC to @Fusion Canada where the fees aren't insane?
- I'm still hovering around 195-197lbs... it's making me laugh I'm not gaining weight yet. Any suggestions? I put on mass fast and hate to lose the ripped look just FYI.

Pics from today below:
- Meal # 2 = 1.2kg sirloin tip crock pot roast half eaten


Ordered today:
- NF Melanotan 2
- NF GLP-1 (sema)
- Digestive Enzymes (the ones @stevesmi suggested)
No gym but the level of protein is perfect :D @HarleyGuy you're really coming in hard, but the psyllium husk should be at least 15 grams per day.
 
- Can any of my brother Canadians tell me what platform they use to send bitcoin BTC to @Fusion Canada where the fees aren't insane?
@Fusion Canada just commented on this check
https://www.evolutionary.org/forums...ada-official-review-thread.86923/post-1807999
- I'm still hovering around 195-197lbs... it's making me laugh I'm not gaining weight yet. Any suggestions? I put on mass fast and hate to lose the ripped look just FYI.
@HarleyGuy I would stay like this 2 weeks and keep going up on carbs but clean style like adding small portions of oatmeal rolled and buckwheat.
 
Try it out but keep portions low to start, 1/4 cup 1x per day see how you feel, and you can move to 1/4c x 2 and so on. @HarleyGuy
I don't have time tonight to do my nightly update from the day today (but will tomorrow for sure) but maybe this will give you a glimpse into my personality - I read this just now (11pm here) and today I started off with 2 cups of slow cooked rolled oatmeal with cinnamon and vanilla extract and it sat really well. LOL, I don't tend to do anything half way but please keep the advice coming because if that had gone bad I woulda known why and it woulda been because I didn't stay on top of checking for your advice @LevButlerov. It's super appreciated.
That cycle is nuts lol
Welcome to my world LOL @Noah Wixx

Quick update on peptides (not really a peptide): I can't do 20mg MK677 (been alternating between 10mg at night and 20mg the next night and so on) and the 20mg dose has me dragging ass all day or napping like a growing baby. Research shows the law of diminishing returns start at about 10mg anyway so I'm adjusting to 10mg ED (at night).

That's all I got for now.... more tomorrow. See ya then EVO crew!
 
Last edited:
I don't have time tonight to do my nightly update from the day today (but will tomorrow for sure) but maybe this will give you a glimpse into my personality - I read this just now (11pm here) and today I started off with 2 cups of slow cooked rolled oatmeal with cinnamon and vanilla extract and it sat really well. LOL, I don't tend to do anything half way but please keep the advice coming because if that had gone bad I woulda known why and it woulda been because I didn't stay on top of checking for your advice @LevButlerov. It's super appreciated.
@HarleyGuy 2 cups a big high, but it's a start :D lets see how it goes.
 
@HarleyGuy 2 cups a big high, but it's a start :D lets see how it goes.
Agreed, I'm gonna do 1/2 cup with each meal from now on and see how that plays out. It doesn't bloat me like other carbs do and might just do the trick.
 
Agreed, I'm gonna do 1/2 cup with each meal from now on and see how that plays out. It doesn't bloat me like other carbs do and might just do the trick.
Lets see how you feel :D
 
Update for yesterday 14Aug2025

Training yesterday (injury still affecting strength a bit)

Back: Seated rows 3 sets. Stack pin to 80 for 15 reps, pin to 90 for 12 reps, pin to 120 for reps to failure (12).
Back: Bent over dumbbell rows. 3 sets. 70lbs x 12. 80lbs x 12. 100lbs for reps to failure (8)
Traps: Dumbbell shrugs w/ straps. 3 sets. 110lbs to failure each set (10-12)

Bi's: Concentration curls. 3 sets. 20lbs for 15 reps, 30lbs for 12reps, 40lbs for 8 reps to failure.
Bi's: Attempted dumbbell hammer curls and injury prevented this from being productive (not a good kind of pain) so switched to incline machine curl.
Bi's: Incline machine curl. Pin set to 70 for 15 reps, 90 for 12 reps, 115 for 8 reps to failure.

Tri's: Standing 2-hand dumbbell press overhead. 50lbs x 15, 60lbs x 12, 70lbs x 8 to failure
Tri's: Cable bar push down. Pin to 60 x 15, 80 x 12, 100 to failure (8-9)

Elbows injury flared up a bit and called it a workout at this point! Pump was insane LOL.


Diet: (pretty boring same old - adding more carbs - brown rice). Adding carbs because my injury caused me to go from 205lbs to 195lbs pretty fast. 205lbs with abs is where I wanna be. Currently at 196lbs.

2MAD yesterday.

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese with 2 cups brown rice)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinnamon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Pressed cottage cheese 500g

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

2 cups brown rice
430 cals
9g P
3g F
92g C

Meal 1 total:
1668 cals
169g P
141g C
28g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 yesterday: The brown rice actually sat and digested really well, looking forward to taking the advice of just adding 1/2 cup with each meal eventually.


Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total yesterday:
4460 cals
486g Protein
158g Carbs
240g Fat



Peptides yesterday:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily.
IGF1-LR3 50mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps yesterday:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2
**Can't find my Psyllium Husk I think the GF moved it while cleaning :LOL:

Gear yesterday (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
No shot yesterday - shot planned for Friday 15Aug2025

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- Vascularity is starting to show, even in my abs and my quads and calves look like a road map, is this the Mast? This is my first run of Mast.
- I'm also thinking it's possible my hematocrit is high leading to this veiny look, does anyone here donate blood as a health measure?

Important questions!
- I have caber (not a fan), arimidex, raloxifene, and aromasin all on hand. Taking a poll on what the best AI is recommended for E2 conversion getting too high as I don't have bloodwork planned for a while but will know from experience when it does.
- Anyone a fan of raloxifene it would be my first time using this AI
 
Last edited:
Update for yesterday 14Aug2025

Training yesterday (injury still affecting strength a bit)

Back: Seated rows 3 sets. Stack pin to 80 for 15 reps, pin to 90 for 12 reps, pin to 120 for reps to failure (12).
Back: Bent over dumbbell rows. 3 sets. 70lbs x 12. 80lbs x 12. 100lbs for reps to failure (8)
Traps: Dumbbell shrugs w/ straps. 3 sets. 110lbs to failure each set (10-12)

Bi's: Concentration curls. 3 sets. 20lbs for 15 reps, 30lbs for 12reps, 40lbs for 8 reps to failure.
Bi's: Attempted dumbbell hammer curls and injury prevented this from being productive (not a good kind of pain) so switched to incline machine curl.
Bi's: Incline machine curl. Pin set to 70 for 15 reps, 90 for 12 reps, 115 for 8 reps to failure.

Tri's: Standing 2-hand dumbbell press overhead. 50lbs x 15, 60lbs x 12, 70lbs x 8 to failure
Tri's: Cable bar push down. Pin to 60 x 15, 80 x 12, 100 to failure (8-9)

Elbows injury flared up a bit and called it a workout at this point! Pump was insane LOL.


Diet: (pretty boring same old - adding more carbs - brown rice). Adding carbs because my injury caused me to go from 205lbs to 195lbs pretty fast. 205lbs with abs is where I wanna be. Currently at 196lbs.

2MAD yesterday.

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese with 2 cups brown rice)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinnamon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Pressed cottage cheese 500g

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

2 cups brown rice
430 cals
9g P
3g F
92g C

Meal 1 total:
1668 cals
169g P
141g C
28g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 yesterday: The brown rice actually sat and digested really well, looking forward to taking the advice of just adding 1/2 cup with each meal eventually.


Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total yesterday:
4460 cals
486g Protein
158g Carbs
240g Fat



Peptides yesterday:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily.
IGF1-LR3 50mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps yesterday:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2
**Can't find my Psyllium Husk I think the GF moved it while cleaning :LOL:

Gear yesterday (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
No shot yesterday - shot planned for Friday 15Aug2025

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- Vascularity is starting to show, even in my abs and my quads and calves look like a road map, is this the Mast? This is my first run of Mast.
- I'm also thinking it's possible my hematocrit is high leading to this veiny look, does anyone here donate blood as a health measure?

Important questions!
- I have caber (not a fan), arimidex, raloxifene, and aromasin all on hand. Taking a poll on what the best AI is recommended for E2 conversion getting too high as I don't have bloodwork planned for a while but will know from experience when it does.
- Anyone a fan of raloxifene it would be my first time using this AI
Personally recommend using injectables to manage e2 brother! Higher androgen load and anabolism while managing e2? Yes please! Fiddle with those ratio's sir. Pull down the T or 19-nors and increase DHT. If you've got the money for it, introduce the GH as well.
 
Personally recommend using injectables to manage e2 brother! Higher androgen load and anabolism while managing e2? Yes please! Fiddle with those ratio's sir. Pull down the T or 19-nors and increase DHT. If you've got the money for it, introduce the GH as well.
I completely disagree here brother
too many aussies using steroids to manage estrogen when it can be easily managed with aromasin
thats circa 2000s of USA, we moved passed it
 
Bi's: Attempted dumbbell hammer curls and injury prevented this from being productive (not a good kind of pain) so switched to incline machine curl.

Elbows injury flared up a bit and called it a workout at this point! Pump was insane LOL.
You pushed it hard brother ;) well done @HarleyGuy
Questions:
- Vascularity is starting to show, even in my abs and my quads and calves look like a road map, is this the Mast? This is my first run of Mast.
- I'm also thinking it's possible my hematocrit is high leading to this veiny look, does anyone here donate blood as a health measure?
its the masteron but really its you getting lean and hard brother
you can donate blood for sure but get full bloods first
Important questions!
- I have caber (not a fan), arimidex, raloxifene, and aromasin all on hand. Taking a poll on what the best AI is recommended for E2 conversion getting too high as I don't have bloodwork planned for a while but will know from experience when it does.
- Anyone a fan of raloxifene it would be my first time using this AI
i would not guess on using ais, can you get bloods done?
 
Update for yesterday 14Aug2025

Training yesterday (injury still affecting strength a bit)

Back: Seated rows 3 sets. Stack pin to 80 for 15 reps, pin to 90 for 12 reps, pin to 120 for reps to failure (12).
Back: Bent over dumbbell rows. 3 sets. 70lbs x 12. 80lbs x 12. 100lbs for reps to failure (8)
Traps: Dumbbell shrugs w/ straps. 3 sets. 110lbs to failure each set (10-12)

Bi's: Concentration curls. 3 sets. 20lbs for 15 reps, 30lbs for 12reps, 40lbs for 8 reps to failure.
Bi's: Attempted dumbbell hammer curls and injury prevented this from being productive (not a good kind of pain) so switched to incline machine curl.
Bi's: Incline machine curl. Pin set to 70 for 15 reps, 90 for 12 reps, 115 for 8 reps to failure.

Tri's: Standing 2-hand dumbbell press overhead. 50lbs x 15, 60lbs x 12, 70lbs x 8 to failure
Tri's: Cable bar push down. Pin to 60 x 15, 80 x 12, 100 to failure (8-9)

Elbows injury flared up a bit and called it a workout at this point! Pump was insane LOL.


Diet: (pretty boring same old - adding more carbs - brown rice). Adding carbs because my injury caused me to go from 205lbs to 195lbs pretty fast. 205lbs with abs is where I wanna be. Currently at 196lbs.

2MAD yesterday.

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese with 2 cups brown rice)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinnamon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Pressed cottage cheese 500g

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

2 cups brown rice
430 cals
9g P
3g F
92g C

Meal 1 total:
1668 cals
169g P
141g C
28g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 yesterday: The brown rice actually sat and digested really well, looking forward to taking the advice of just adding 1/2 cup with each meal eventually.


Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total yesterday:
4460 cals
486g Protein
158g Carbs
240g Fat



Peptides yesterday:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily.
IGF1-LR3 50mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps yesterday:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2
**Can't find my Psyllium Husk I think the GF moved it while cleaning :LOL:

Gear yesterday (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
No shot yesterday - shot planned for Friday 15Aug2025

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- Vascularity is starting to show, even in my abs and my quads and calves look like a road map, is this the Mast? This is my first run of Mast.
- I'm also thinking it's possible my hematocrit is high leading to this veiny look, does anyone here donate blood as a health measure?

Important questions!
- I have caber (not a fan), arimidex, raloxifene, and aromasin all on hand. Taking a poll on what the best AI is recommended for E2 conversion getting too high as I don't have bloodwork planned for a while but will know from experience when it does.
- Anyone a fan of raloxifene it would be my first time using this AI
@HarleyGuy looking good on this stack. that is a heck of a lineup. you are gonna get great results
 
Update for yesterday 14Aug2025

Training yesterday (injury still affecting strength a bit)

Back: Seated rows 3 sets. Stack pin to 80 for 15 reps, pin to 90 for 12 reps, pin to 120 for reps to failure (12).
Back: Bent over dumbbell rows. 3 sets. 70lbs x 12. 80lbs x 12. 100lbs for reps to failure (8)
Traps: Dumbbell shrugs w/ straps. 3 sets. 110lbs to failure each set (10-12)

Bi's: Concentration curls. 3 sets. 20lbs for 15 reps, 30lbs for 12reps, 40lbs for 8 reps to failure.
Bi's: Attempted dumbbell hammer curls and injury prevented this from being productive (not a good kind of pain) so switched to incline machine curl.
Bi's: Incline machine curl. Pin set to 70 for 15 reps, 90 for 12 reps, 115 for 8 reps to failure.

Tri's: Standing 2-hand dumbbell press overhead. 50lbs x 15, 60lbs x 12, 70lbs x 8 to failure
Tri's: Cable bar push down. Pin to 60 x 15, 80 x 12, 100 to failure (8-9)

Elbows injury flared up a bit and called it a workout at this point! Pump was insane LOL.


Diet: (pretty boring same old - adding more carbs - brown rice). Adding carbs because my injury caused me to go from 205lbs to 195lbs pretty fast. 205lbs with abs is where I wanna be. Currently at 196lbs.

2MAD yesterday.

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese with 2 cups brown rice)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinnamon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Pressed cottage cheese 500g

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

2 cups brown rice
430 cals
9g P
3g F
92g C

Meal 1 total:
1668 cals
169g P
141g C
28g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 yesterday: The brown rice actually sat and digested really well, looking forward to taking the advice of just adding 1/2 cup with each meal eventually.


Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total yesterday:
4460 cals
486g Protein
158g Carbs
240g Fat



Peptides yesterday:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily.
IGF1-LR3 50mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps yesterday:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2
**Can't find my Psyllium Husk I think the GF moved it while cleaning :LOL:

Gear yesterday (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
No shot yesterday - shot planned for Friday 15Aug2025

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- Vascularity is starting to show, even in my abs and my quads and calves look like a road map, is this the Mast? This is my first run of Mast.
- I'm also thinking it's possible my hematocrit is high leading to this veiny look, does anyone here donate blood as a health measure?

Important questions!
- I have caber (not a fan), arimidex, raloxifene, and aromasin all on hand. Taking a poll on what the best AI is recommended for E2 conversion getting too high as I don't have bloodwork planned for a while but will know from experience when it does.
- Anyone a fan of raloxifene it would be my first time using this AI
@HarleyGuy bro you doing good! pushing some good stuff. the tren should be higher though 200mgs too low
 
You pushed it hard brother ;) well done @HarleyGuy

its the masteron but really its you getting lean and hard brother
you can donate blood for sure but get full bloods first

i would not guess on using ais, can you get bloods done?
Yes will get bloods done sooner than later and post here. Give me a few weeks and stay tuned.
 
Log Today: 15Aug2025

Training today: LEG DAY!

Squats: after warm up squatted 2 plates for 3 sets x 12 reps (still not going too deep into the heavy black hole yet)
Hack Squats: after warm up hack squat 2 plates to failure for 3 sets each to failure... 20, 18, 17.
Seated quad extensions: 3 sets to failure at 100 pin... last set I was seeing stars and really pushed it, got about 20 in and get that 'burn'
Hams: supine machine curls 3 sets to failure
Calves: standing calve raise machine, pin set to heaviest setting to failure x 3 sets. Each rep I go down as far as possible to give it a good stretch.

Pic of quads before bed is below.
Note about pic: I had surgery on my left knee (arthroscopic) due to a blown ACL ligament (3 times a charm after it healing well enough the first two times) and my left entire leg (quads, hams, calves) has never been the same. The pic is reversed so in the pic it's the leg on the right hand side you can see it's noticeably less bulky. I've favored this leg since the injury in 2010 and after the surgery as well and it's noticeable a different looking leg.

Diet: OMAD TODAY
3 lbs chicken wings and two sandwiches (provolone cheese slices as the 'bread') with 250g of salami in each sandwich with a Protein shake to drink.

Total OMAD meal:
3 lbs chicken wings
4 slices provolone cheese
500g salami
1 Protein Shake as my drink w/ collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop

Chicken wings:
2610 cals
210g P
180g F
0 C

4 slices provolone cheese:
280 cals
24g P
20g F
0 C

500g salami:
1700 cals
40g P
170g F
0 C

Protein shake
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinnamon
vanilla extract

838 cals
152g P
15g F
21g C

Total today:
5428 cals
426g Protein
21g Carbs
370g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily AM and PM
IGF1-LR3 50mcg in morning (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps today:
Digest Gold 2 caps before OMAD meal (I usually take what the bottle says and double it LOL)
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg (10,000 mcg)
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 1 (one with OMAD meal)
Creatine 20g with protein shake OMAD
**Can't find my Psyllium Husk I think the GF moved it while cleaning :LOL:

GEAR today:
PIN DAY! Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
Draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1 inch needle (did delts today that's why 1"). Today half in left mid delt (2.5cc/ml) and half in right mid delt (2.5cc/ml).

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- I'm sure you can see what my knee injury did to my left leg (the right leg in the picture), any suggestions on getting this leg back up to speed with the other one?
 

Attachments

  • quads 17Aug2025.webp
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Update for yesterday 14Aug2025

Training yesterday (injury still affecting strength a bit)

Back: Seated rows 3 sets. Stack pin to 80 for 15 reps, pin to 90 for 12 reps, pin to 120 for reps to failure (12).
Back: Bent over dumbbell rows. 3 sets. 70lbs x 12. 80lbs x 12. 100lbs for reps to failure (8)
Traps: Dumbbell shrugs w/ straps. 3 sets. 110lbs to failure each set (10-12)

Bi's: Concentration curls. 3 sets. 20lbs for 15 reps, 30lbs for 12reps, 40lbs for 8 reps to failure.
Bi's: Attempted dumbbell hammer curls and injury prevented this from being productive (not a good kind of pain) so switched to incline machine curl.
Bi's: Incline machine curl. Pin set to 70 for 15 reps, 90 for 12 reps, 115 for 8 reps to failure.

Tri's: Standing 2-hand dumbbell press overhead. 50lbs x 15, 60lbs x 12, 70lbs x 8 to failure
Tri's: Cable bar push down. Pin to 60 x 15, 80 x 12, 100 to failure (8-9)

Elbows injury flared up a bit and called it a workout at this point! Pump was insane LOL.


Diet: (pretty boring same old - adding more carbs - brown rice). Adding carbs because my injury caused me to go from 205lbs to 195lbs pretty fast. 205lbs with abs is where I wanna be. Currently at 196lbs.

2MAD yesterday.

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese with 2 cups brown rice)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinnamon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Pressed cottage cheese 500g

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

2 cups brown rice
430 cals
9g P
3g F
92g C

Meal 1 total:
1668 cals
169g P
141g C
28g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 yesterday: The brown rice actually sat and digested really well, looking forward to taking the advice of just adding 1/2 cup with each meal eventually.


Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total yesterday:
4460 cals
486g Protein
158g Carbs
240g Fat



Peptides yesterday:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily.
IGF1-LR3 50mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps yesterday:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2
**Can't find my Psyllium Husk I think the GF moved it while cleaning :LOL:

Gear yesterday (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
No shot yesterday - shot planned for Friday 15Aug2025

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- Vascularity is starting to show, even in my abs and my quads and calves look like a road map, is this the Mast? This is my first run of Mast.
- I'm also thinking it's possible my hematocrit is high leading to this veiny look, does anyone here donate blood as a health measure?

Important questions!
- I have caber (not a fan), arimidex, raloxifene, and aromasin all on hand. Taking a poll on what the best AI is recommended for E2 conversion getting too high as I don't have bloodwork planned for a while but will know from experience when it does.
- Anyone a fan of raloxifene it would be my first time using this AI
that is a mega stack wow. you are using a lot of different things @HarleyGuy probably the biggest cycle i've seen all day
 
Update for yesterday 14Aug2025

Training yesterday (injury still affecting strength a bit)

Back: Seated rows 3 sets. Stack pin to 80 for 15 reps, pin to 90 for 12 reps, pin to 120 for reps to failure (12).
Back: Bent over dumbbell rows. 3 sets. 70lbs x 12. 80lbs x 12. 100lbs for reps to failure (8)
Traps: Dumbbell shrugs w/ straps. 3 sets. 110lbs to failure each set (10-12)

Bi's: Concentration curls. 3 sets. 20lbs for 15 reps, 30lbs for 12reps, 40lbs for 8 reps to failure.
Bi's: Attempted dumbbell hammer curls and injury prevented this from being productive (not a good kind of pain) so switched to incline machine curl.
Bi's: Incline machine curl. Pin set to 70 for 15 reps, 90 for 12 reps, 115 for 8 reps to failure.

Tri's: Standing 2-hand dumbbell press overhead. 50lbs x 15, 60lbs x 12, 70lbs x 8 to failure
Tri's: Cable bar push down. Pin to 60 x 15, 80 x 12, 100 to failure (8-9)

Elbows injury flared up a bit and called it a workout at this point! Pump was insane LOL.


Diet: (pretty boring same old - adding more carbs - brown rice). Adding carbs because my injury caused me to go from 205lbs to 195lbs pretty fast. 205lbs with abs is where I wanna be. Currently at 196lbs.

2MAD yesterday.

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese with 2 cups brown rice)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinnamon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Pressed cottage cheese 500g

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

2 cups brown rice
430 cals
9g P
3g F
92g C

Meal 1 total:
1668 cals
169g P
141g C
28g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 yesterday: The brown rice actually sat and digested really well, looking forward to taking the advice of just adding 1/2 cup with each meal eventually.


Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total yesterday:
4460 cals
486g Protein
158g Carbs
240g Fat



Peptides yesterday:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily.
IGF1-LR3 50mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps yesterday:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2
**Can't find my Psyllium Husk I think the GF moved it while cleaning :LOL:

Gear yesterday (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
No shot yesterday - shot planned for Friday 15Aug2025

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- Vascularity is starting to show, even in my abs and my quads and calves look like a road map, is this the Mast? This is my first run of Mast.
- I'm also thinking it's possible my hematocrit is high leading to this veiny look, does anyone here donate blood as a health measure?

Important questions!
- I have caber (not a fan), arimidex, raloxifene, and aromasin all on hand. Taking a poll on what the best AI is recommended for E2 conversion getting too high as I don't have bloodwork planned for a while but will know from experience when it does.
- Anyone a fan of raloxifene it would be my first time using this AI
bros looking good! the steroid stack is sick. wish i could afford all that! @HarleyGuy
 
Update for yesterday 14Aug2025

Training yesterday (injury still affecting strength a bit)

Back: Seated rows 3 sets. Stack pin to 80 for 15 reps, pin to 90 for 12 reps, pin to 120 for reps to failure (12).
Back: Bent over dumbbell rows. 3 sets. 70lbs x 12. 80lbs x 12. 100lbs for reps to failure (8)
Traps: Dumbbell shrugs w/ straps. 3 sets. 110lbs to failure each set (10-12)

Bi's: Concentration curls. 3 sets. 20lbs for 15 reps, 30lbs for 12reps, 40lbs for 8 reps to failure.
Bi's: Attempted dumbbell hammer curls and injury prevented this from being productive (not a good kind of pain) so switched to incline machine curl.
Bi's: Incline machine curl. Pin set to 70 for 15 reps, 90 for 12 reps, 115 for 8 reps to failure.

Tri's: Standing 2-hand dumbbell press overhead. 50lbs x 15, 60lbs x 12, 70lbs x 8 to failure
Tri's: Cable bar push down. Pin to 60 x 15, 80 x 12, 100 to failure (8-9)

Elbows injury flared up a bit and called it a workout at this point! Pump was insane LOL.


Diet: (pretty boring same old - adding more carbs - brown rice). Adding carbs because my injury caused me to go from 205lbs to 195lbs pretty fast. 205lbs with abs is where I wanna be. Currently at 196lbs.

2MAD yesterday.

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese with 2 cups brown rice)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinnamon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Pressed cottage cheese 500g

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

2 cups brown rice
430 cals
9g P
3g F
92g C

Meal 1 total:
1668 cals
169g P
141g C
28g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 yesterday: The brown rice actually sat and digested really well, looking forward to taking the advice of just adding 1/2 cup with each meal eventually.


Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total yesterday:
4460 cals
486g Protein
158g Carbs
240g Fat



Peptides yesterday:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily.
IGF1-LR3 50mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps yesterday:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2
**Can't find my Psyllium Husk I think the GF moved it while cleaning :LOL:

Gear yesterday (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
No shot yesterday - shot planned for Friday 15Aug2025

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- Vascularity is starting to show, even in my abs and my quads and calves look like a road map, is this the Mast? This is my first run of Mast.
- I'm also thinking it's possible my hematocrit is high leading to this veiny look, does anyone here donate blood as a health measure?

Important questions!
- I have caber (not a fan), arimidex, raloxifene, and aromasin all on hand. Taking a poll on what the best AI is recommended for E2 conversion getting too high as I don't have bloodwork planned for a while but will know from experience when it does.
- Anyone a fan of raloxifene it would be my first time using this AI
@HarleyGuy this is a good one! the best advice for AI is going to be aromasin from the get go. but if things get too bad then switch to letro as a last resort
 
Update for yesterday 14Aug2025

Training yesterday (injury still affecting strength a bit)

Back: Seated rows 3 sets. Stack pin to 80 for 15 reps, pin to 90 for 12 reps, pin to 120 for reps to failure (12).
Back: Bent over dumbbell rows. 3 sets. 70lbs x 12. 80lbs x 12. 100lbs for reps to failure (8)
Traps: Dumbbell shrugs w/ straps. 3 sets. 110lbs to failure each set (10-12)

Bi's: Concentration curls. 3 sets. 20lbs for 15 reps, 30lbs for 12reps, 40lbs for 8 reps to failure.
Bi's: Attempted dumbbell hammer curls and injury prevented this from being productive (not a good kind of pain) so switched to incline machine curl.
Bi's: Incline machine curl. Pin set to 70 for 15 reps, 90 for 12 reps, 115 for 8 reps to failure.

Tri's: Standing 2-hand dumbbell press overhead. 50lbs x 15, 60lbs x 12, 70lbs x 8 to failure
Tri's: Cable bar push down. Pin to 60 x 15, 80 x 12, 100 to failure (8-9)

Elbows injury flared up a bit and called it a workout at this point! Pump was insane LOL.


Diet: (pretty boring same old - adding more carbs - brown rice). Adding carbs because my injury caused me to go from 205lbs to 195lbs pretty fast. 205lbs with abs is where I wanna be. Currently at 196lbs.

2MAD yesterday.

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese with 2 cups brown rice)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinnamon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Pressed cottage cheese 500g

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

2 cups brown rice
430 cals
9g P
3g F
92g C

Meal 1 total:
1668 cals
169g P
141g C
28g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 yesterday: The brown rice actually sat and digested really well, looking forward to taking the advice of just adding 1/2 cup with each meal eventually.


Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total yesterday:
4460 cals
486g Protein
158g Carbs
240g Fat



Peptides yesterday:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily.
IGF1-LR3 50mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps yesterday:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2
**Can't find my Psyllium Husk I think the GF moved it while cleaning :LOL:

Gear yesterday (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
No shot yesterday - shot planned for Friday 15Aug2025

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- Vascularity is starting to show, even in my abs and my quads and calves look like a road map, is this the Mast? This is my first run of Mast.
- I'm also thinking it's possible my hematocrit is high leading to this veiny look, does anyone here donate blood as a health measure?

Important questions!
- I have caber (not a fan), arimidex, raloxifene, and aromasin all on hand. Taking a poll on what the best AI is recommended for E2 conversion getting too high as I don't have bloodwork planned for a while but will know from experience when it does.
- Anyone a fan of raloxifene it would be my first time using this AI
@HarleyGuy awesome log right here!
 
Training today (@LevButlerov)
Training today was very hopeful. Seated rows were almost back to my old weight; the rows felt great for a deep stretch and then that heavy ass pull in to your core. I find my grip strength was noticeably slightly weaker after the 6-week injury layoff but it will get back there. My grip strength prevented me moreso from going even harder than my elbow tendon injuries. Bent over rows same thing. Lat fly machine (which hits my traps really well too) gave me no problems to failure each set. Overall great day for back. Looking forward to deadlights when I know my injury will hold up. Back pump was great and DOMS have gone away already after being back at it now for a few weeks.

@LevButlerov Thanks for asking about training it's such a relief to be able to be back and to at least go to failure even if it's not as heavy as before.

Diet: (didn't mix it up at all today but learned something about this particular meal #1 - see in red below).

2MAD today .

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 today: That protein shake is thick as all hell and mighty on the macros. When I also add the pound of pressed dried cottage cheese as a side dish I NEED digestive enzymes when I hammer down these two specific foods together (probably the protein combinations). I get a perma protein food baby literally day.

Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
4030 cals
477g Protein
66g Carbs
242g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 20mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2

In the crock pot for tomorrow is a 1.2kg bottom blade roast which will come out like butter. Stay tuned for that update!


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
Draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle. Today left quad upper outer thigh.

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

@LevButlerov After pinning the 2.5 GLP-3 Reta I don't find I get any noticeable effects to speak of except that (even with the MK677) I am in complete control of when and what I eat. I'm never hungry or slip and eat when I know I have to and what I should eat without deviation from that. Even when we were out for an all you can eat buffet I only made time for chicken, beef, pork, and shrimp with no desire to touch anything sweet.

Questions:
1. What digestive enzymes do you recommend are best for high protein intake and the insane baby belly bloat (a rock hard beer gut looking belly) that will help with this?
@harleyguy1 love the cycle man. You’ll be growing like a monster
 
Log Today: 15Aug2025

Training today: LEG DAY!

Squats: after warm up squatted 2 plates for 3 sets x 12 reps (still not going too deep into the heavy black hole yet)
Hack Squats: after warm up hack squat 2 plates to failure for 3 sets each to failure... 20, 18, 17.
Seated quad extensions: 3 sets to failure at 100 pin... last set I was seeing stars and really pushed it, got about 20 in and get that 'burn'
Hams: supine machine curls 3 sets to failure
Calves: standing calve raise machine, pin set to heaviest setting to failure x 3 sets. Each rep I go down as far as possible to give it a good stretch.

Pic of quads before bed is below.
Note about pic: I had surgery on my left knee (arthroscopic) due to a blown ACL ligament (3 times a charm after it healing well enough the first two times) and my left entire leg (quads, hams, calves) has never been the same. The pic is reversed so in the pic it's the leg on the right hand side you can see it's noticeably less bulky. I've favored this leg since the injury in 2010 and after the surgery as well and it's noticeable a different looking leg.

Diet: OMAD TODAY
3 lbs chicken wings and two sandwiches (provolone cheese slices as the 'bread') with 250g of salami in each sandwich with a Protein shake to drink.

Total OMAD meal:
3 lbs chicken wings
4 slices provolone cheese
500g salami
1 Protein Shake as my drink w/ collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop

Chicken wings:
2610 cals
210g P
180g F
0 C

4 slices provolone cheese:
280 cals
24g P
20g F
0 C

500g salami:
1700 cals
40g P
170g F
0 C

Protein shake
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinnamon
vanilla extract

838 cals
152g P
15g F
21g C

Total today:
5428 cals
426g Protein
21g Carbs
370g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily AM and PM
IGF1-LR3 50mcg in morning (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps today:
Digest Gold 2 caps before OMAD meal (I usually take what the bottle says and double it LOL)
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg (10,000 mcg)
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 1 (one with OMAD meal)
Creatine 20g with protein shake OMAD
**Can't find my Psyllium Husk I think the GF moved it while cleaning :LOL:

GEAR today:
PIN DAY! Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
Draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1 inch needle (did delts today that's why 1"). Today half in left mid delt (2.5cc/ml) and half in right mid delt (2.5cc/ml).

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- I'm sure you can see what my knee injury did to my left leg (the right leg in the picture), any suggestions on getting this leg back up to speed with the other one?
big legs in the picture brother, really big quads and not to be gay BIG package too lol ;)

really good leg day
Questions:
- I'm sure you can see what my knee injury did to my left leg (the right leg in the picture), any suggestions on getting this leg back up to speed with the other one?
knee injury looks alright actually cant tell well
 
big legs in the picture brother, really big quads and not to be gay BIG package too lol ;)

really good leg day

knee injury looks alright actually cant tell well
Thanks so much for the feedback @Npcclassicphysique champ I was really hoping to get some replies about the right leg (in the pic) vs. the left leg. Specifically, the "vastus medialis" area of my left leg (which is the right leg in the pic - just above and to the left side of knee in the pic) and the "rectus femoris" (middle quad muscle) which are both (to me) smaller than the other leg. Oddly enough this makes the injured leg look a lot more shredded than the 'strong' leg. Reassuring to know it's not as noticeable to others as much as myself.

I've attached a calf pic just to go with the legs. And no homo taken by the package compliment thanks! :ROFLMAO:
 

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Boring Log entry today: 16Aug2025

Training today: Rest day


Diet:
(Usual protein shake in morning and then was at a BBQ for dinner).

2MAD today.


Meal # 1 (Protein shake)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
15g F
21g C

Meal 1 total:
838 cals
104g P
15g F
21g C



Meal # 2 (3 Costco sirloin hamburgers (no bun) and 3 bigass polish sausages (no bun)) total:

Sirloin hamburger patties:
1000 cals
80g P
70g F
0g C

Polish sausages:
1050 cals
35g P
60g F
9g C

Meal 2 total:
2050 cals
115g P
130g F
9g C


Total today:
2888 cals
219g Protein
145g Fat
30g Carbs



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily AM and PM
IGF1-LR3 50mcg in morning (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps today:
Digest Gold 2 caps before protein shake (I usually take what the bottle says and double it LOL)
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg (10,000 mcg)
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 1 (one with OMAD meal)
Creatine 20g with protein shake OMAD


GEAR today:
No pin today

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) Pharma Grade TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) NF TestP
0.5ml (150mg) NF Deca
0.5ml (50mg) NF DHB
1ml (200mg) NF Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg NF dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg Rx TestE
200mg NF TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg NF Deca
200mg NF TrenA
200mg NF MastP
100mg NF DHB
oral: NF DBOL 140mg

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT


Questions:
- Would it help if I post my medical history and medical protocol for both heart and sleep? I have Operator Syndrome which is like a combat PTSD. I'm prescribed TRT as well as heart medication including lasix to keep any edema at bay. I lucked out if you wanna call it that (by having an unrelated to PED's heart event in 2019 due to alcoholism) and am now given EKG's with contrast once a year and meds to keep my blood pressure in check. Never had BP sides from any gear and resting HR has always been around 60 BPM. Heart is in good shape. I'm sure my lipids and cholesterol are skewed bad right now on cycle right which is done in September so I'm not too concerned.
 
Thanks so much for the feedback @Npcclassicphysique champ I was really hoping to get some replies about the right leg (in the pic) vs. the left leg. Specifically, the "vastus medialis" area of my left leg (which is the right leg in the pic - just above and to the left side of knee in the pic) and the "rectus femoris" (middle quad muscle) which are both (to me) smaller than the other leg. Oddly enough this makes the injured leg look a lot more shredded than the 'strong' leg. Reassuring to know it's not as noticeable to others as much as myself.

I've attached a calf pic just to go with the legs. And no homo taken by the package compliment thanks! :ROFLMAO:
i did look again brother ;) i guess left leg a bit smaller
its really difficult to tell because you got those amazing quads they really doing well
I've attached a calf pic just to go with the legs. And no homo taken by the package compliment thanks! :ROFLMAO:
@HarleyGuy never homo its bodybuilding ;) we look at dudes all the time normal
and damn you got a calf THICK BIG sweeping perfection
 
Boring Log entry today: 16Aug2025

Training today: Rest day


Diet:
(Usual protein shake in morning and then was at a BBQ for dinner).

2MAD today.


Meal # 1 (Protein shake)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
15g F
21g C

Meal 1 total:
838 cals
104g P
15g F
21g C



Meal # 2 (3 Costco sirloin hamburgers (no bun) and 3 bigass polish sausages (no bun)) total:

Sirloin hamburger patties:
1000 cals
80g P
70g F
0g C

Polish sausages:
1050 cals
35g P
60g F
9g C

Meal 2 total:
2050 cals
115g P
130g F
9g C


Total today:
2888 cals
219g Protein
145g Fat
30g Carbs




Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily AM and PM
IGF1-LR3 50mcg in morning (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps today:
Digest Gold 2 caps before protein shake (I usually take what the bottle says and double it LOL)
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg (10,000 mcg)
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 1 (one with OMAD meal)
Creatine 20g with protein shake OMAD


GEAR today:
No pin today

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) Pharma Grade TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) NF TestP
0.5ml (150mg) NF Deca
0.5ml (50mg) NF DHB
1ml (200mg) NF Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg NF dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg Rx TestE
200mg NF TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg NF Deca
200mg NF TrenA
200mg NF MastP
100mg NF DHB
oral: NF DBOL 140mg

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT


Questions:
- Would it help if I post my medical history and medical protocol for both heart and sleep? I have Operator Syndrome which is like a combat PTSD. I'm prescribed TRT as well as heart medication including lasix to keep any edema at bay. I lucked out if you wanna call it that (by having an unrelated to PED's heart event in 2019 due to alcoholism) and am now given EKG's with contrast once a year and meds to keep my blood pressure in check. Never had BP sides from any gear and resting HR has always been around 60 BPM. Heart is in good shape. I'm sure my lipids and cholesterol are skewed bad right now on cycle right which is done in September so I'm not too concerned.
perfect rest day high protein high fat low carbs ;) sweet
- Would it help if I post my medical history and medical protocol for both heart and sleep? I have Operator Syndrome which is like a combat PTSD. I'm prescribed TRT as well as heart medication including lasix to keep any edema at bay. I lucked out if you wanna call it that (by having an unrelated to PED's heart event in 2019 due to alcoholism) and am now given EKG's with contrast once a year and meds to keep my blood pressure in check. Never had BP sides from any gear and resting HR has always been around 60 BPM. Heart is in good shape. I'm sure my lipids and cholesterol are skewed bad right now on cycle right which is done in September so I'm not too concerned.
it would help if you posted this brother @HarleyGuy
we all had addictions in the past and battled through them hard! i was on drugs and drinking until i found the light in bodybuilding
so anything you can share the EVO family would love it
 
perfect rest day high protein high fat low carbs ;) sweet

it would help if you posted this brother @HarleyGuy
we all had addictions in the past and battled through them hard! i was on drugs and drinking until i found the light in bodybuilding
so anything you can share the EVO family would love it
I really appreciate that @Npcclassicphysique champ and I feel the love here big time!

I will post my log update later tonight and a separate post on my addiction journey and current meds due to that as well. Sober since 06Jul2021 (4+ years now). Stay tuned!
 
I really appreciate that @Npcclassicphysique champ and I feel the love here big time!

I will post my log update later tonight and a separate post on my addiction journey and current meds due to that as well. Sober since 06Jul2021 (4+ years now). Stay tuned!
Stay the course bro. Way better to be addicted to gear and training that any of the other shit. 4 year sober is a big deal. That shits way in the past now and each day it gets further away. Always moving forwards!
 
I really appreciate that @Npcclassicphysique champ and I feel the love here big time!
EVO family is love and support always :D @HarleyGuy
I will post my log update later tonight and a separate post on my addiction journey and current meds due to that as well. Sober since 06Jul2021 (4+ years now). Stay tuned!
Thank you, waiting for the update :D we all had our addictions we fought.
You can see my comment on my alcoholism here just today -
https://www.evolutionary.org/forums/threads/using-ped-safely.106178/post-1810109
I was talking to another user about PED use vs Alcohol.
Stay the course bro. Way better to be addicted to gear and training that any of the other shit. 4 year sober is a big deal. That shits way in the past now and each day it gets further away. Always moving forwards!
 
Wrong link?

Goes to a guys reta sfx post
sorry about that :D I had a lot of mod que threads here is the thread @BeMe
https://www.evolutionary.org/forums/threads/using-ped-safely.106178/post-1810109
Now lets compare to alcohol! I was an alcoholic for years and the damage that booze did to my body was way worse than what steroid use ever could. Alcohol batters your liver every single day, wrecks your sleep, raises blood pressure, and destroys relationships. With steroids you’re talking about monitored doses, blood work, ancillaries, and medical oversight which keeps things in check. Alcohol has no safe long term dose, its poison, but PEDs can be managed like a medication.
 
sorry about that :D I had a lot of mod que threads here is the thread @BeMe
https://www.evolutionary.org/forums/threads/using-ped-safely.106178/post-1810109
Wow I never would've guessed you were an alcoholic. People with your type of education are usually those lifers who never even had a drop of alcohol or smoked a cig. Talk about a total 180.

Glad you fought your way out of it bro! Think how many lives that have been made better by that one decision you made to stop. All the people you've helped since. I know my life is better thanks to that decision you made that day for sure. Most importantly your life is better and I'm grateful for that.
 
I'm gonna just post my journal update tonight and then take some time to give you the goods about addiction when I can tomorrow. Don't wanna half ass a story like that.



Log entry today: 17Aug2025

Training today:

Still playing around with my injury to see what's gonna work out and not work out yet.

Chest: Bench press. Started easy warmup with 25's and 2 sets. No elbow pain. 45's no elbow pain for 15 reps. Did 2 sets after this of 185lbs with no elbow pain in the left arm and minimal in my right arm so this is great news! Good pump and felt great to be under the bar again.
Chest: Dumbbell press. Warmup with 50's and 2 sets. 70's for 2 sets of 12. 90's for a set to complete failure for 8 reps (spotter helped me up on last one).
Triceps: Cable bar push downs. 3 sets to failure 60, 80, then 110 (8 reps to failure).
Traps: Shrugs 100's to failure for 4 sets.

Elbows starting giving me shit at this point so I did abs and calves and called it a day. Fucking arm wrestling, never do it! LOL



Diet: (Usual protein shake in morning with brown rice and then 1kg ground bison (see pic))

2MAD today.


Meal # 1 (Protein shake)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
152g P
15g F
21g C

1 cup brown rice:
220 cals
5 P
2 F
45 C

Meal 1 total:
1058 cals
157g P
17g F
65g C



Meal 2 total (1kg ground bison - see pic):
2200 cals
115g P
130g F
9g C


Total today:
3228 cals
272g Protein
147g Fat
74g Carbs



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily AM and PM
IGF1-LR3 50mcg in morning (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps today:
Digest Gold 2 caps before protein shake (I usually take what the bottle says and double it LOL) and 2 caps before 1kg ground bison
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg (10,000 mcg)
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 1 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g with protein shake


GEAR today:
No pin today

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) Pharma Grade TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) NF TestP
0.5ml (150mg) NF Deca
0.5ml (50mg) NF DHB
1ml (200mg) NF Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg NF dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg Rx TestE
200mg NF TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg NF Deca
200mg NF TrenA
200mg NF MastP
100mg NF DHB
oral: NF DBOL 140mg

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- What's the consensus on when you take your HGH? Right now I'm taking it before bed but there's so much data and bro science out there for both morning fasted and before bed fasted. I'm also running 10mg MK677 at bedtime as well.

- What is your favorite exercise for upper trap development? My traps are strong but the upper traps don't pop unless I'm on a ton of anadrol it seems LOL

Upcoming: My story about recovery from addiction
 
Wow I never would've guessed you were an alcoholic. People with your type of education are usually those lifers who never even had a drop of alcohol or smoked a cig. Talk about a total 180.

Glad you fought your way out of it bro! Think how many lives that have been made better by that one decision you made to stop. All the people you've helped since. I know my life is better thanks to that decision you made that day for sure. Most importantly your life is better and I'm grateful for that.
I was drinking big for years right to the bottom of the bottle lol :P @BeMe
been sober for years, and feel amazing, bodybuilding is my love and passion now.
 
Questions:
- What's the consensus on when you take your HGH? Right now I'm taking it before bed but there's so much data and bro science out there for both morning fasted and before bed fasted. I'm also running 10mg MK677 at bedtime as well.
@HarleyGuy before bed is the best because you dont get sleepy in mornings with HGH, you're doing it right :D
Upcoming: My story about recovery from addiction
waiting on this.
- What is your favorite exercise for upper trap development? My traps are strong but the upper traps don't pop unless I'm on a ton of anadrol it seems LOL
barbell shrugs, dumbbell shrugs, rack pulls, smith machine shrugs, upright rows, all work!
I'm gonna just post my journal update tonight and then take some time to give you the goods about addiction when I can tomorrow. Don't wanna half ass a story like that.



Log entry today: 17Aug2025

Training today:

Still playing around with my injury to see what's gonna work out and not work out yet.

Chest: Bench press. Started easy warmup with 25's and 2 sets. No elbow pain. 45's no elbow pain for 15 reps. Did 2 sets after this of 185lbs with no elbow pain in the left arm and minimal in my right arm so this is great news! Good pump and felt great to be under the bar again.
Chest: Dumbbell press. Warmup with 50's and 2 sets. 70's for 2 sets of 12. 90's for a set to complete failure for 8 reps (spotter helped me up on last one).
Triceps: Cable bar push downs. 3 sets to failure 60, 80, then 110 (8 reps to failure).
Traps: Shrugs 100's to failure for 4 sets.

Elbows starting giving me shit at this point so I did abs and calves and called it a day. Fucking arm wrestling, never do it! LOL



Diet: (Usual protein shake in morning with brown rice and then 1kg ground bison (see pic))

2MAD today.


Meal # 1 (Protein shake)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
152g P
15g F
21g C

1 cup brown rice:
220 cals
5 P
2 F
45 C

Meal 1 total:
1058 cals
157g P
17g F
65g C



Meal 2 total (1kg ground bison - see pic):
2200 cals
115g P
130g F
9g C


Total today:
3228 cals
272g Protein
147g Fat
74g Carbs



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily AM and PM
IGF1-LR3 50mcg in morning (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps today:
Digest Gold 2 caps before protein shake (I usually take what the bottle says and double it LOL) and 2 caps before 1kg ground bison
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg (10,000 mcg)
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 1 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g with protein shake


GEAR today:
No pin today

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) Pharma Grade TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) NF TestP
0.5ml (150mg) NF Deca
0.5ml (50mg) NF DHB
1ml (200mg) NF Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg NF dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg Rx TestE
200mg NF TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg NF Deca
200mg NF TrenA
200mg NF MastP
100mg NF DHB
oral: NF DBOL 140mg

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- What's the consensus on when you take your HGH? Right now I'm taking it before bed but there's so much data and bro science out there for both morning fasted and before bed fasted. I'm also running 10mg MK677 at bedtime as well.

- What is your favorite exercise for upper trap development? My traps are strong but the upper traps don't pop unless I'm on a ton of anadrol it seems LOL

Upcoming: My story about recovery from addiction
Big day I love the dedicated I want to see more push ups though.
 
@HarleyGuy before bed is the best because you dont get sleepy in mornings with HGH, you're doing it right :D

waiting on this.

barbell shrugs, dumbbell shrugs, rack pulls, smith machine shrugs, upright rows, all work!

Big day I love the dedicated I want to see more push ups though.
@LevButlerov I love that you say that because I'm a huge pushups guy. If I can't make it to the gym I will do 1000 pushups and don't quit until I've done 1000. Same with crunches too. Probably why my biceps are lagging huge compared to my triceps LOL.
 
I'm gonna just post my journal update tonight and then take some time to give you the goods about addiction when I can tomorrow. Don't wanna half ass a story like that.



Log entry today: 17Aug2025

Training today:

Still playing around with my injury to see what's gonna work out and not work out yet.

Chest: Bench press. Started easy warmup with 25's and 2 sets. No elbow pain. 45's no elbow pain for 15 reps. Did 2 sets after this of 185lbs with no elbow pain in the left arm and minimal in my right arm so this is great news! Good pump and felt great to be under the bar again.
Chest: Dumbbell press. Warmup with 50's and 2 sets. 70's for 2 sets of 12. 90's for a set to complete failure for 8 reps (spotter helped me up on last one).
Triceps: Cable bar push downs. 3 sets to failure 60, 80, then 110 (8 reps to failure).
Traps: Shrugs 100's to failure for 4 sets.

Elbows starting giving me shit at this point so I did abs and calves and called it a day. Fucking arm wrestling, never do it! LOL



Diet: (Usual protein shake in morning with brown rice and then 1kg ground bison (see pic))

2MAD today.


Meal # 1 (Protein shake)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
152g P
15g F
21g C

1 cup brown rice:
220 cals
5 P
2 F
45 C

Meal 1 total:
1058 cals
157g P
17g F
65g C



Meal 2 total (1kg ground bison - see pic):
2200 cals
115g P
130g F
9g C


Total today:
3228 cals
272g Protein
147g Fat
74g Carbs



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily AM and PM
IGF1-LR3 50mcg in morning (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps today:
Digest Gold 2 caps before protein shake (I usually take what the bottle says and double it LOL) and 2 caps before 1kg ground bison
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg (10,000 mcg)
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 1 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g with protein shake


GEAR today:
No pin today

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) Pharma Grade TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) NF TestP
0.5ml (150mg) NF Deca
0.5ml (50mg) NF DHB
1ml (200mg) NF Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg NF dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg Rx TestE
200mg NF TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg NF Deca
200mg NF TrenA
200mg NF MastP
100mg NF DHB
oral: NF DBOL 140mg

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- What's the consensus on when you take your HGH? Right now I'm taking it before bed but there's so much data and bro science out there for both morning fasted and before bed fasted. I'm also running 10mg MK677 at bedtime as well.

- What is your favorite exercise for upper trap development? My traps are strong but the upper traps don't pop unless I'm on a ton of anadrol it seems LOL

Upcoming: My story about recovery from addiction
I did a deep dive on GH recently and it's either just before bed, or in the morning 30 mins before you eat. If you're taking more than 2iu a lot of people were saying so both.
 
Can't forget my dinner pic from tonight as promised... 1kg ground bison. I buy 10kg at a time.
 

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@LevButlerov I love that you say that because I'm a huge pushups guy. If I can't make it to the gym I will do 1000 pushups and don't quit until I've done 1000. Same with crunches too. Probably why my biceps are lagging huge compared to my triceps LOL.
@HarleyGuy push ups are the key to a good wide chest :D FACT!
I did a deep dive on GH recently and it's either just before bed, or in the morning 30 mins before you eat. If you're taking more than 2iu a lot of people were saying so both.
It really depends on the person @BeMe
Some guys can handle AM HGH but some are tired whole day because of it.
I found it's 70/30.
Can't forget my dinner pic from tonight as promised... 1kg ground bison. I buy 10kg at a time.
I love bison!
 
@HarleyGuy push ups are the key to a good wide chest :D FACT!

It really depends on the person @BeMe
Some guys can handle AM HGH but some are tired whole day because of it.
I found it's 70/30.

I love bison!
Interesting.

But if youre doing a lot you have to split it up don't you? You couldn't just pin 4 or 6 iu all at once before bed right?
 
Training today (@LevButlerov)
Training today was very hopeful. Seated rows were almost back to my old weight; the rows felt great for a deep stretch and then that heavy ass pull in to your core. I find my grip strength was noticeably slightly weaker after the 6-week injury layoff but it will get back there. My grip strength prevented me moreso from going even harder than my elbow tendon injuries. Bent over rows same thing. Lat fly machine (which hits my traps really well too) gave me no problems to failure each set. Overall great day for back. Looking forward to deadlights when I know my injury will hold up. Back pump was great and DOMS have gone away already after being back at it now for a few weeks.

@LevButlerov Thanks for asking about training it's such a relief to be able to be back and to at least go to failure even if it's not as heavy as before.

Diet: (didn't mix it up at all today but learned something about this particular meal #1 - see in red below).

2MAD today .

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinammon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Cottage cheese 500g (see pics)

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

Meal 1 total:
1238 cals
160g P
49g C
25g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 today: That protein shake is thick as all hell and mighty on the macros. When I also add the pound of pressed dried cottage cheese as a side dish I NEED digestive enzymes when I hammer down these two specific foods together (probably the protein combinations). I get a perma protein food baby literally day.

Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total today:
4030 cals
477g Protein
66g Carbs
242g Fat



Peptides today:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice today.
IGF1-LR3 33mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to 10iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 20mg now - right before bed (alternating between 10mg and 20mg from night to night).


Supps today:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Psyllium Husk 500mg x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2

In the crock pot for tomorrow is a 1.2kg bottom blade roast which will come out like butter. Stay tuned for that update!


Gear today (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
Draw with 18g into a 5ml syringe plunge with 22g 1.5 inch needle. Today left quad upper outer thigh.

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

@LevButlerov After pinning the 2.5 GLP-3 Reta I don't find I get any noticeable effects to speak of except that (even with the MK677) I am in complete control of when and what I eat. I'm never hungry or slip and eat when I know I have to and what I should eat without deviation from that. Even when we were out for an all you can eat buffet I only made time for chicken, beef, pork, and shrimp with no desire to touch anything sweet.

Questions:
1. What digestive enzymes do you recommend are best for high protein intake and the insane baby belly bloat (a rock hard beer gut looking belly) that will help with this?
Nice work
 
Interesting.

But if youre doing a lot you have to split it up don't you? You couldn't just pin 4 or 6 iu all at once before bed right?
You could actually pin 4-6 IUs before bed but that dose would have sides, think wrist pains etc, even splitting it wouldn't mitigate the sides.
 
Update for yesterday 14Aug2025

Training yesterday (injury still affecting strength a bit)

Back: Seated rows 3 sets. Stack pin to 80 for 15 reps, pin to 90 for 12 reps, pin to 120 for reps to failure (12).
Back: Bent over dumbbell rows. 3 sets. 70lbs x 12. 80lbs x 12. 100lbs for reps to failure (8)
Traps: Dumbbell shrugs w/ straps. 3 sets. 110lbs to failure each set (10-12)

Bi's: Concentration curls. 3 sets. 20lbs for 15 reps, 30lbs for 12reps, 40lbs for 8 reps to failure.
Bi's: Attempted dumbbell hammer curls and injury prevented this from being productive (not a good kind of pain) so switched to incline machine curl.
Bi's: Incline machine curl. Pin set to 70 for 15 reps, 90 for 12 reps, 115 for 8 reps to failure.

Tri's: Standing 2-hand dumbbell press overhead. 50lbs x 15, 60lbs x 12, 70lbs x 8 to failure
Tri's: Cable bar push down. Pin to 60 x 15, 80 x 12, 100 to failure (8-9)

Elbows injury flared up a bit and called it a workout at this point! Pump was insane LOL.


Diet: (pretty boring same old - adding more carbs - brown rice). Adding carbs because my injury caused me to go from 205lbs to 195lbs pretty fast. 205lbs with abs is where I wanna be. Currently at 196lbs.

2MAD yesterday.

Meal # 1 (Protein shake and 500g cottage cheese with 2 cups brown rice)

Protein shake (see pics)
Whey 3-scoops = 450 cals 75g P 9g C 9g F
Protein milk 320 cals 60g P 12g C 6g F
Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size as the whey 68 cals 17g P
Creatine 20g
1 cup blueberries
4 tbsp cinnamon
vanilla extract
838 cals
104g P
21g C
15g F

Pressed cottage cheese 500g

400 Cals
56g P
28g C
10g F

2 cups brown rice
430 cals
9g P
3g F
92g C

Meal 1 total:
1668 cals
169g P
141g C
28g F

Lesson from Meal # 1 yesterday: The brown rice actually sat and digested really well, looking forward to taking the advice of just adding 1/2 cup with each meal eventually.


Meal # 2 (1kg filet mignon + 1 medium avocado) total:

2792 cals
300g P
212g F
17g C
+ Collagen Peptide Protein 1 scoop same size using the whey scoop = 68 cals 17g P


Total yesterday:
4460 cals
486g Protein
158g Carbs
240g Fat



Peptides yesterday:
GLOW (70mg total per vial - GHK 50mg/TB 10mg/BPC 10mg) @ 1.25mg/250mcg/250mcg twice daily.
IGF1-LR3 50mcg (running for 4 weeks - loaded 3ml bac water into 1mg vial and draw to about 15iu)
Jeotropin HGH 3iu @ night fasted
MK677 10mg now - right before bed **figured out I cannot tolerate 20mg without dragging my ass the next day like a zombie**


Supps yesterday:
NAC 1600mg
Biotin 10mg
Berberine 1000mg (with every meal)
Milk Thistle 3 pills providing 450mg of silymarin
Mutant multi vitamin x 2 (one with each meal)
Creatine 20g before Meal # 2
**Can't find my Psyllium Husk I think the GF moved it while cleaning :LOL:

Gear yesterday (every 3-4 days) and overall comprehensive breakdown:
No shot yesterday - shot planned for Friday 15Aug2025

Every 3-4 days:
2ml (400mg) TestE using my Rx
1ml (100mg) TestP NF
0.5ml (150mg) Deca NF
0.5ml (50mg) DHB
1ml (200mg) Trenomast (100mg tren ace/100mg mastP)
20mg dbol ED

Weekly cycle:
800mg TestE
200mg TestP (equals 1g Test in the form of my own "Sust" blend)
300mg Deca
200mg TrenA
200mg MastP
100mg DHB
oral: 140mg dbol

Total weekly gear breakdown:
1.14g T
500mg 19-Nor
300mg DHT

Questions:
- Vascularity is starting to show, even in my abs and my quads and calves look like a road map, is this the Mast? This is my first run of Mast.
- I'm also thinking it's possible my hematocrit is high leading to this veiny look, does anyone here donate blood as a health measure?

Important questions!
- I have caber (not a fan), arimidex, raloxifene, and aromasin all on hand. Taking a poll on what the best AI is recommended for E2 conversion getting too high as I don't have bloodwork planned for a while but will know from experience when it does.
- Anyone a fan of raloxifene it would be my first time using this AI
@HarleyGuy aromasin is by far hands the best ai. I’ve tried them all and had the best luck with aromasin
 
Quick update before hitting the bed and sorry I don't have more for tonight:

Much apologies I just got home home and it's pushing midnight here. Will post my diet and routine from today by tomorrow afternoon (have pics of the food too!) and I have started working on my 'essay' about my addiction story and how it got me back to bodybuilding and looking half decent for 48 years old.

Important question for now: I've attached a pic from this morning (Up to 197lbs) and have a question about my gyno that's been around since the prohormones gave it to me in the 90's. In the pic to me the gyno is beyond obvious and does anyone think that 600-1200mg raloxifene for 6 weeks is even worth it or should I just start saving for the surgery. I don't want to end up with what they call here the 'dishpan' look where your nipple becomes inverted and you have zero lower chest anymore. Anyone with experience with both the surgery and raloxifene (see pic and comment on gyno please).
 

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Quick update before hitting the bed and sorry I don't have more for tonight:

Much apologies I just got home home and it's pushing midnight here. Will post my diet and routine from today by tomorrow afternoon (have pics of the food too!) and I have started working on my 'essay' about my addiction story and how it got me back to bodybuilding and looking half decent for 48 years old.

Important question for now: I've attached a pic from this morning (Up to 197lbs) and have a question about my gyno that's been around since the prohormones gave it to me in the 90's. In the pic to me the gyno is beyond obvious and does anyone think that 600-1200mg raloxifene for 6 weeks is even worth it or should I just start saving for the surgery. I don't want to end up with what they call here the 'dishpan' look where your nipple becomes inverted and you have zero lower chest anymore. Anyone with experience with both the surgery and raloxifene (see pic and comment on gyno please).
@HarleyGuy I think that is gyno for sure, but it's not world ending. do you have a lump there or is it just puffy?
If you have no lump we can try tamoxifen therapy to start off.
 
Good update
 
@HarleyGuy I think that is gyno for sure, but it's not world ending. do you have a lump there or is it just puffy?
If you have no lump we can try tamoxifen therapy to start off.
@LevButlerov

It's puffy as all fuck and you can grab the fat long before you feel the bump. It feels like it's just major lower pec fat with a lump yes but mostly fat. If I push hard I can feel the 'bump' or nodule and push it around but that's been there since I was about 20 and now I feel like my fat just accumulates there. I took the pic at the absolute worst angle I could get to show it at it's worst. When you look at me face on it's not too noticeable and if I do a front double bicep it's barely noticeable but it's still clearly minor gyno with some fatty tissue big time.

I don't like the blood clot risk with raloxifene but it's pretty selective at the receptor for gyno but you're thinking tamoxifen instead?
I was thinking a short burst of 4-6 weeks of high raloxifene but if you're thinking tamoxifen I'm all ears but that's more of a serm I shoulda been on from the beginning I'm thinking.

Do tell though sir!
 
@LevButlerov

It's puffy as all fuck and you can grab the fat long before you feel the bump. It feels like it's just major lower pec fat with a lump yes but mostly fat. If I push hard I can feel the 'bump' or nodule and push it around but that's been there since I was about 20 and now I feel like my fat just accumulates there. I took the pic at the absolute worst angle I could get to show it at it's worst. When you look at me face on it's not too noticeable and if I do a front double bicep it's barely noticeable but it's still clearly minor gyno with some fatty tissue big time.

I don't like the blood clot risk with raloxifene but it's pretty selective at the receptor for gyno but you're thinking tamoxifen instead?
I was thinking a short burst of 4-6 weeks of high raloxifene but if you're thinking tamoxifen I'm all ears but that's more of a serm I shoulda been on from the beginning I'm thinking.

Do tell though sir!
@HarleyGuy Ok if it's not a huge lump, lets try tamoxifen therapy. But I just reviewed your cycle post -
https://www.evolutionary.org/forums...t-deca-dbol-cycle-journal.105881/post-1796420
how much aromasin are you using now? i didnt see it or missed it.
and do you have a fadogia based test booster like HCGenerate?
 
@HarleyGuy Ok if it's not a huge lump, lets try tamoxifen therapy. But I just reviewed your cycle post -
https://www.evolutionary.org/forums...t-deca-dbol-cycle-journal.105881/post-1796420
how much aromasin are you using now? i didnt see it or missed it.
and do you have a fadogia based test booster like HCGenerate?
@LevButlerov I have aromasin on hand 12.5mg NF tabs. I took one with my last shot and was thinking of taking one with each shot (I do twice weekly shots). I've never had a prolactin issue and in fact my prolactin was low so no caber has ever been needed. Never heard of HCGenerate no, don't have that.

I have a blood req and could go get bloods but who gets bloods in the middle of a huge blast like mine right now? LOL. I usually wait 3-4 weeks after a blast when on a 300mg T cruise and use that as a baseline but I could go get it just for fun. I know my cholesterol will be sky high with a horrific ratio and my AST/ALT might be all wonky too as well as my creatinine.

Sorry to my EVO brothers I haven't posted an update for two days. My son is moving and the last two days I've been swamped. It's almost midnight here yet again and I'm fading already. Gym is tomorrow and will post both my journal update as well as my addiction story (barring any family last minute requests from Dad to come help with stuff LOL).

For your viewing pleasure pic below was breakfast today (title of pic is wrong it's capicollo): 500g hot capicollo with 500g egg whites. If you add grated cheddar cheese to it it is really easy to eat and sticks together in bigass bites you can use a fork with.
 

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@LevButlerov I have aromasin on hand 12.5mg NF tabs. I took one with my last shot and was thinking of taking one with each shot (I do twice weekly shots). I've never had a prolactin issue and in fact my prolactin was low so no caber has ever been needed. Never heard of HCGenerate no, don't have that.
@HarleyGuy we would need to combine a few things not just use tamoxifen for gyno.
I would start with this -
40mgs tamoxifen/day
6.25mgs aromasin/day
2 caps hcgenerate/day (here for hcgenerate)
I have a blood req and could go get bloods but who gets bloods in the middle of a huge blast like mine right now? LOL. I usually wait 3-4 weeks after a blast when on a 300mg T cruise and use that as a baseline but I could go get it just for fun. I know my cholesterol will be sky high with a horrific ratio and my AST/ALT might be all wonky too as well as my creatinine.
Yes we can wait :P
Sorry to my EVO brothers I haven't posted an update for two days. My son is moving and the last two days I've been swamped. It's almost midnight here yet again and I'm fading already. Gym is tomorrow and will post both my journal update as well as my addiction story (barring any family last minute requests from Dad to come help with stuff LOL).
We are waiting :D help your son that's #1.
For your viewing pleasure pic below was breakfast today (title of pic is wrong it's capicollo): 500g hot capicollo with 500g egg whites. If you add grated cheddar cheese to it it is really easy to eat and sticks together in bigass bites you can use a fork with.
nice a lot of eggs and protein :D love it.
 
@HarleyGuy we would need to combine a few things not just use tamoxifen for gyno.
I would start with this -
40mgs tamoxifen/day
6.25mgs aromasin/day
2 caps hcgenerate/day (here for hcgenerate)

Yes we can wait :P

We are waiting :D help your son that's #1.

nice a lot of eggs and protein :D love it.
@LevButlerov Ok will order some tamox. I had raloxifene on hand but will trust you bro. Will cut my aromasin with a pill cutter (12.5's now). And get the hcgenerate.

Question: Would ordering straight up HCG be better? I can add it to the tamox order with Fusion Canada?

Thanks for understanding that I've been bit off the grid for a couple days and for all the feedback. It's much appreciated.
 
@HarleyGuy we would need to combine a few things not just use tamoxifen for gyno.
I would start with this -
40mgs tamoxifen/day
6.25mgs aromasin/day
2 caps hcgenerate/day (here for hcgenerate)

Yes we can wait :P

We are waiting :D help your son that's #1.

nice a lot of eggs and protein :D love it.
@LevButlerov

Just to confirm this is what you would run ON cycle yes? And about how long would you recommend? Need to know for my order. I'd start it ASAP especially with the aromatase conversion going on with a cycle of 800mg T despite the masteron; I'm not looking to make the gyno any worse that's for sure and ideally would like to reduce it if I can.

Why all the hype about how selective ralox is at the breast tissue receptors; people even say it can "reverse" gyno by at least 50%? This is all bro science and a few clinical studies but there's also tamox anecdotes as well as some clinical evidence for tamox too. Just wondering your experience but I do like the stack you mentioned above.
 
Just to confirm this is what you would run ON cycle yes? And about how long would you recommend? Need to know for my order. I'd start it ASAP especially with the aromatase conversion going on with a cycle of 800mg T despite the masteron; I'm not looking to make the gyno any worse that's for sure and ideally would like to reduce it if I can.
Yes on cycle no issues, you can combo it.
Why all the hype about how selective ralox is at the breast tissue receptors; people even say it can "reverse" gyno by at least 50%? This is all bro science and a few clinical studies but there's also tamox anecdotes as well as some clinical evidence for tamox too. Just wondering your experience but I do like the stack you mentioned above.
relaxo is not as good as tamoxifen for gyno imo @HarleyGuy I think nolvadex can reverse ALL gyno depends on time nad situation.
 
Yes on cycle no issues, you can combo it.

relaxo is not as good as tamoxifen for gyno imo @HarleyGuy I think nolvadex can reverse ALL gyno depends on time nad situation.
Music to my ears man! I'm gonna take the night off of the log as it's all still standard and do up my addiction story.
 
My addiction story from 2012 til 2021.

Like all us addicts our stories are filled with wreckage and damage we've caused so I'll spare you the gory details and stick to the DOC's (drugs of choice) during what years they were and where I ended up and when I got sober. I'll use bullet points as my story spans almost a decade.

  • Police Officer from 1999-2019 (20 years and was out)
  • Used booze like any cop to unwind and overdid it often, no biggie, drank hard on days off and never when working
  • Worked with our ERT = Emergency Response Team (in the US they call it SWAT or some variation) otherwise was a traffic cop, lots of pissed off motorists and gory ass blood and guts accidents
  • Due to my level of callouts and what I did both on ERT and at car wrecks my head and mental state got all fucked up. I was pure adrenaline all the time and wired for speed. I had what's called Operator Syndrome (or some call it severe c-PTSD) which basically turns you into a powder keg of rage ready to explode at any time but makes you great at your job.
  • In 2012 I was rear ended by a drunk driver and prescribed Percocets (oxycodone and tylenol). I fucking LOVED them and they helped the PTSD I didn't know I had. They didn't make me tired like most people they gave me energy and at the same time calmed my mind down. I had zero problems and felt at peace in my head. I was on them for as long as the doc would prescribe them until he got wind from my ex wife I was using the shit out of them. He cut my prescription off and I got withdrawals and sick as fuck so I started getting them from a buddy. Drained my bank account and took whatever was for sale, dilaudid, hydromorphone, oxycontin, fentanyl patches, anything to keep that "everything is fucking great" feeling and also not to feel like your hair hurts when the wind blows (the withdrawals are fucking awful). Was going to work and functioning on all this as it gave me energy and my mood was ever more alpha.
  • Got caught due to finances and came clean. Police Force sent me to rehab in 2012 where I was told I was apparently an alcoholic and an addict. I thought they were full of shit but played the game. Went back to work and was on Suboxone (buprenorphine) which makes any pain pill not work. I was "cured" and made a go at no booze as well and did the whole AA thing too. Even worked the 12-step program but inside I hadn't accepted I was fucked and was just playing the game.
  • Time went by and from 2012-2014 I started drinking again and convinced the ex that booze was never my problem.
  • Meanwhile from 2012-2014 I had some of the craziest ERT calls ever. High speed no knock warrant breaches and shootings, went home like meh whatever and would drink a 12-pack and slam some liquor too, problem solved and a good day at work. Was in great shape looked like He-Man marvel character and had an ego that could fill the room. Mindset was another bad guy with a hole in the head fucking right I did good today. Not knowing this takes a toll on the mind.
  • Early 2014 my non cop friends (who all did blow and I didn't care) crunched me out a line and I did one and loved that too (shocking). Oh but still, I wasn't no addict or alcoholic my job is stressful and I'm blowing off steam. Hence the cocaine addiction started for all of 2014. Got caught and ponied up that I was doing blow always while I drank and sent back to the same rehab. In rehab this time they said I also have severe PTSD. Got out knowing I "over do it" and told myself well I'm high fuckin speed I don't do anything half way and that's what makes me a good operator so I can control this and just stop.
  • Right after getting out of rehab for addiction I get sent back for PTSD (same rehab again - an in house 8 week program and you don't get visits). So this was my 1st and 2nd bit in rehab.
  • Late 2014 I attend my final call for duty (a bad one) and I go home and get fucked up on booze and cocaine for about a week and call in sick to work. Ex wife drives me to the nut house and I get admitted for 3-day involuntary custody for evaluation. I come being diagnosed with Alcohol use disorder, Cocaine use disorder, Opiate use disorder and severe c-PTSD and am given a doctors note to stay off work for 6 months until I've seen a Psychiatrist and properly assessed.
  • Finally get in with a Psychiatrist and it goes bad (so I thought). He says I'm borderline psychotic and may be good at my job but I've been through too much and my brain has changed. MRI of my amygdala shows it's enlarged and I'm on constant fight or flight mode even while sober. Psychiatrist reaches out to Workmen's Comp saying I have a brain injury due to "multiple traumatic events over time" and am deemed unemployable and need rehabilitation for an indeterminate amount of time. In Canada it's called WSIB (workmen's comp in US)
  • Divorced the ex who had had enough and met who I thought was the "love of my life" in 2015. I go back to rehab for a 3rd and 4th time for addiction and PTSD to show her I loved her (lol). My kids (I have 4) would visit on weekends and once during the week for dinner and then my two sons didn't wanna live with Mom so they moved in with me. Now I had a "real" reason to stay sober and didn't need AA anymore (addicts always think they got shit figured out themselves). My kids needed me and so did my 2nd wife's kids (my 3 stepkids at the time - her own 3 kids). In hindsight I know that trying to stay sober for your kids is a bullshit reason if you're a true addict and alcoholic it can only last so long.
  • I was getting paid full pay and thought HAHA fuck you government I'm fine I get to workout and netflix and chill all day
  • From From 2015-2017 I stay sober "for my kids" because they need me
  • In 2018 (yes shocking I ride motorcycles) I join a biker club and have ONE beer with them. Off I went, from ONE beer
  • That one beer led me to resenting my second wife and moving out with my two sons into a condo of our own.
  • I rode with the club almost 24/7 and abandoned my two boys who had to move back in with my 2nd wife who I had left
  • I got deep into drinking, using cocaine and crack, selling large amount of meth and cocaine and am still on WSIB due to a mental injury preventing me from working.
  • From my last call in 2014 until this day I'm still seeing a psychologist but WSIB poured it on hard from to try and see if I could ever be retrained to work anywhere at anything again.
  • In late 2018 I was deemed "unfit" as a candidate for ANY employment and my file was closed as a hopeless case and I was "permanently injured" on the job. This meant I was on a medical disability pension receiving 100% of my income and left to my own devices. The books were closed on me and I was on a pension now with WSIB benefits as well covering any expense I needed for therapy or head shrinking.
  • After realizing I was told I was actually that fucked I left the bike club and came home and realized that yes my two sons had really left. I was alone now. I felt sorry for myself and kept the drinking and cocaine going hard on my own. I watched the movie Leaving Las Vegas over and over and would watch gory military movies and incessantly watch any kill videos I could find on websites that were what I used to do. Apparently this is trauma bonding.
  • My family were the best parents and sister a guy could ask for. They'd try their best to help but really were just enabling me from getting to bottom and they see that now and I used up every last bit of enabling I could until they figured it out and I was now really, truly on my own.
  • None of the meds worked from 2014-2018. Even while sober from 2015-2017 the meds did fuck all and I was always sweating, red in the face and had a short temper. I was a "dry drunk" that just wanted that high speed back and was a narcissistic asshole.
  • Back alone in my condo with no family and no kids I started pounding back 60oz of Jack Daniels a day and switched to vodka. A 60oz of vodka a day. The word around AA is that once you've gotten yourself down to vodka only you're at the end. Well, I was. I didn't know you could do this but I drank myself to death. I officially "retired" in early 2019 and was no longer a cop and had to hand in my badge and was now on a full medical psycho pension.
  • In June of 2019 I was at my parents for a weekend and believe it or not because I wasn't drinking enough there (to try and be respectful) they would give me a couple shots every 2 hours to keep me sane and stable but this ended up being a bad approach to a hard case like me.
  • I had a seizure and couldn't breathe, my lungs were full of fluid and I couldn't breathe. My body was so full of edema I looked like a bloated whale. This all in front of my parents
  • Ambulance called and the last I remember saying in a calm voice to the paramedic (and to this day my Dad laughs at how calm I was) was "I'm going down you've got 5 minutes to intubate or I'm done, call my sister and my kids"
  • 6 weeks later I wake and am told I had died for 10 minutes. My ribs are broken from CPR and I have tubes down in my lungs and into my nose all for food and oxygen. I was on life support for a bit and my heart had been shocked back to get a pulse.
  • I get released and had "learned my lesson" and went back to my own place and my two sons came back to live with me. Got released in July 2019 and my "lesson" I learned lasted until October 2019 when my son turned 19 which is drinking age where I am so I thought it'd be a good idea to take him a strip club and have "one beer". I woke up in my room surrounded by a half used ounce of cocaine and bottles everywhere. My son said "Dad you can't drink" and I knew it but didn't care. They moved back in with wife # 2 and I was alone again. this time I knew how much would kill me so I backed off the 60oz and kept it around 40oz.
  • Meanwhile I was in and out of the hospital or detox centres about a half dozen times each between October 2019 and April 2021.
  • I quit the cocaine to be just an alcohol drinker thinking this was a kind gesture to my family and this went on until late April 2021 when (and mind you I somehow maintained my muscle mass and general shape and have a black belt in BJJ and a head full of hate and rage) I go balistic on a guy at a bar and smash him a new face and stabbed him too. Off to jail I go, and literally I knew half the cops dealing with me and they would tip toe around me like I was some psychotic alien. Due to my mental history, being flagged as "violent" in the 'system', "suicidal", an "escape risk" and possibly "armed" (basically every flag a cop would hear if I got pulled over or contacted on the street)
  • My case was adjourned so many times I can't recall how many but it didn't get dealt with until 2023.
  • Meanwhile my parents hire a hard hitting lawyer who somehow, my Gods grace, convinces the Judge to grant me bail so long as I live with my parents and am on strict house arrest. This might make you laugh but I had them add the condition that I was allowed to travel to and from the gym for "mental health reasons". I maintained a TRT the whole time since 2015.
  • I get out after a week waiting for bail and am living with my parents. This is now early May 2021. I convince them I need to keep drinking or I mentally won't survive and I promise to keep to myself in the basement and just be quiet down there and drink. My Dad drives me to the liquor store every day.
  • In a moment of clarity I realize my oldest sons birthday is coming up on July 5th and I order him a new set of golf clubs and a kickass new golf bag. On the day of his birthday he comes over to get his birthday present and I'm practically in a coma and my Dad had to give him the golf clubs for me and my Mom takes a picture of him and my Dad (his grandpa) while I'm downstairs passed out.
  • I wake up July 6th and yell up the stairs to my Dad "Is Connor coming today for his golf clubs?" and my Dad says you missed it, that was yesterday he came and got them already.
  • After ALL the shit, all the damage and warning signs and rehabs and ex wives and my kids having an unpredictable home not knowing if they could be with me THIS was my personal bottom
  • They say a man's personal bottom is very personal and it has to come from within. You have to find your bottom and YOU have to be sick of your own self and want to either die, or make a go of it ONLY for yourself. This was my moment.
  • I started at the bottom of the stairs and crawled and inched my way to the top while my Dad watched me, saying nothing. I got to the top and said "I'm done". My Dad very stoically said "Ok let's go" and he drove me to the hospital.
  • I was in the hospital for about a month getting my organs and body back in shape to even execute my aftercare plan
  • I called a sponsor who had been waiting for me to call for three years since I died in 2019 and he said "so I hear you're done?" and I said "ya i'm fuckin done man this is it or i'm dead and I hate myself and want to die". Being the amazing sponsor he is he said "Good".
  • My sober date is July 6, 2021, the day after my sons birthday. I worked the 12-step program and rediscovered my relationship with God and work the steps to this day. Despite being sober since July 6th, 2021 I developed an amazon addiction and a sugar addiction and gained 80 lbs while sober. This was a good lesson because an addict is an addict with anything, it's not just the booze or the drugs that's the problem it's ME! I solved this by being honest with myself and cut myself off buying anything and ran a hard core keto diet for 8 months and went from 270+ lbs to 190lbs in 8 months.
  • With six months of sobriety I attend rehab for the 5th and 6th time for addiction and PTSD only this time I attend and I mean business, with a clear head, truly sober and with honesty openness and willingness.
  • Meanwhile the wreckage of my past came knocking and my court case finally came due in January of 2024 and I was sentenced to 3 months in our version of a supermax (in the US it's called the SHU) due to the violent tendencies and mental issues that you never get 'unflagged' for just because you've been sober for a couple years they still consider you flagged as a threat. 3 months was a super light sentence but it had been because I had gotten my shit together for those 2 years and abided by all bail conditions and had been sober and had a great PSI report for the Judge. A single cell locked down 23 hours a day and out for 1 hour about half the days of the week depending on the guards moods. The first 3 days were hell, like an in shock kind of feeling and then my 12-step program and Faith kicked in and I settled in for the ride and knew I was there for a reason.
  • I'm almost 2 years sober going inside and not being given a break by the Judge was a huge blessing in disguise. I had time to reflect, and read, and found out who my true circle is but most importantly in there I found myself
  • I got out in April 2024 and celebrated my 3 year sobriety on July 6th 2024.
  • On July 6th that just passed I celebrated my 4-year anniversary with my girlfriend who doesn't drink and is as badass as I ever thought I was and accepts, respects, and supports everything about me and my past and she says she can't picture that old me one bit and that it has to have been removed (which is what the big book of AA says will happen - "the problem will be removed", that problem not being the drugs or alcohol but that problem being "me", so there needed to be a new me and that comes with Step 12)
  • Today, everything is behind me, I have an amazing relationship with my kids I miss ZERO events for them and they call me when they need me and everything I do for others makes me feel grateful now. My job is to help others and think zero of myself. I try not to do much of my own thinking and give it up to God or call my sponsor.
  • My parents drink and when I'm around it I don't even notice and if offered it by someone that doesn't know me I recoil from it like it's a hot flame (this is how it's described in the book and this is what happened to me by honestly working the steps and being bottom willing to go to any lengths to get sober and stay recovered from this horrible disease)
  • Now I sponsor other men with this disease and have helped 2 so far (out of countless dozens who've tried with me) make it through to other side of it. 2 out of 100 isn't that bad considering how this gets ahold of you but truly I help others to keep myself sober and if the man I'm sponsoring makes it then that's a bonus.

That is about as much as I can condense for you brothers. I won't tell the horror stories of me sniffing lines off the police cruiser laptop or the lying cheating and stealing money from my family or bad guys for my own drugs, stealing and lying to anyone and everyone because if you're a recovered addict I know you can just imagine the shit I've been through and done.

Now, I'm a dedicated Dad, step Dad to my girlfriends amazing kids, reliable brother and very trusted friend to many amazing people. I am honest to a fault without regretting and so it direct to everyone and people appreciate whether they know it or not. I get up every day at 6am, attend one meeting a week, currently sponsoring a man named "Garry" and my addiction is now the gym and bio-hacking with PED use to see my body transform.

Now the meds: due to the damage to my heart I needed anti-remodeling meds and due to the lifelong diagnosis of Operator Syndrome I am finally on the meds that keep me calm with mood stability and be able to sleep as well. My ejection fraction went from 22% to 53% and my cardiologist said I'm a walking miracle and my heart as healed itself. Nonetheless I'm on a laundry list of meds for both my heart and my psyche/Operator Syndrom.

So here's the list of my meds:

Zopiclone 7.5mg ED @ night (sleep)
Tadalafil 5mg ED @ morning (blood pressure/ED)
Sertraline=Zoloft 200mg @ night (mood)
Entresto 100mg (48.6mg Sacubitril/51.4mg Valsartin) @ night (heart)
Seroquil=Quetiapine 50mg @ night (anti-psychotic/sleep)
Prazosin 11mg @ night (nightmares/flashbacks)
Pantoprazole 40mg @ morning (stomach)
Lasix 40mg @ morning (water retention/edema - heart)
Eplerenone 25mg @ morning (heart)
Diazepam=Valium 10mg @ night (sleep/calm CNS)
Bisoprolol 10mg @ morning (heart)


So there's my personal story as promised @LevButlerov and all EVO bros. I'm sure there's many out there like me for sure. God bless.
 
My addiction story from 2012 til 2021.

Like all us addicts our stories are filled with wreckage and damage we've caused so I'll spare you the gory details and stick to the DOC's (drugs of choice) during what years they were and where I ended up and when I got sober. I'll use bullet points as my story spans almost a decade.

  • Police Officer from 1999-2019 (20 years and was out)
  • Used booze like any cop to unwind and overdid it often, no biggie, drank hard on days off and never when working
  • Worked with our ERT = Emergency Response Team (in the US they call it SWAT or some variation) otherwise was a traffic cop, lots of pissed off motorists and gory ass blood and guts accidents
  • Due to my level of callouts and what I did both on ERT and at car wrecks my head and mental state got all fucked up. I was pure adrenaline all the time and wired for speed. I had what's called Operator Syndrome (or some call it severe c-PTSD) which basically turns you into a powder keg of rage ready to explode at any time but makes you great at your job.
  • In 2012 I was rear ended by a drunk driver and prescribed Percocets (oxycodone and tylenol). I fucking LOVED them and they helped the PTSD I didn't know I had. They didn't make me tired like most people they gave me energy and at the same time calmed my mind down. I had zero problems and felt at peace in my head. I was on them for as long as the doc would prescribe them until he got wind from my ex wife I was using the shit out of them. He cut my prescription off and I got withdrawals and sick as fuck so I started getting them from a buddy. Drained my bank account and took whatever was for sale, dilaudid, hydromorphone, oxycontin, fentanyl patches, anything to keep that "everything is fucking great" feeling and also not to feel like your hair hurts when the wind blows (the withdrawals are fucking awful). Was going to work and functioning on all this as it gave me energy and my mood was ever more alpha.
  • Got caught due to finances and came clean. Police Force sent me to rehab in 2012 where I was told I was apparently an alcoholic and an addict. I thought they were full of shit but played the game. Went back to work and was on Suboxone (buprenorphine) which makes any pain pill not work. I was "cured" and made a go at no booze as well and did the whole AA thing too. Even worked the 12-step program but inside I hadn't accepted I was fucked and was just playing the game.
  • Time went by and from 2012-2014 I started drinking again and convinced the ex that booze was never my problem.
  • Meanwhile from 2012-2014 I had some of the craziest ERT calls ever. High speed no knock warrant breaches and shootings, went home like meh whatever and would drink a 12-pack and slam some liquor too, problem solved and a good day at work. Was in great shape looked like He-Man marvel character and had an ego that could fill the room. Mindset was another bad guy with a hole in the head fucking right I did good today. Not knowing this takes a toll on the mind.
  • Early 2014 my non cop friends (who all did blow and I didn't care) crunched me out a line and I did one and loved that too (shocking). Oh but still, I wasn't no addict or alcoholic my job is stressful and I'm blowing off steam. Hence the cocaine addiction started for all of 2014. Got caught and ponied up that I was doing blow always while I drank and sent back to the same rehab. In rehab this time they said I also have severe PTSD. Got out knowing I "over do it" and told myself well I'm high fuckin speed I don't do anything half way and that's what makes me a good operator so I can control this and just stop.
  • Right after getting out of rehab for addiction I get sent back for PTSD (same rehab again - an in house 8 week program and you don't get visits). So this was my 1st and 2nd bit in rehab.
  • Late 2014 I attend my final call for duty (a bad one) and I go home and get fucked up on booze and cocaine for about a week and call in sick to work. Ex wife drives me to the nut house and I get admitted for 3-day involuntary custody for evaluation. I come being diagnosed with Alcohol use disorder, Cocaine use disorder, Opiate use disorder and severe c-PTSD and am given a doctors note to stay off work for 6 months until I've seen a Psychiatrist and properly assessed.
  • Finally get in with a Psychiatrist and it goes bad (so I thought). He says I'm borderline psychotic and may be good at my job but I've been through too much and my brain has changed. MRI of my amygdala shows it's enlarged and I'm on constant fight or flight mode even while sober. Psychiatrist reaches out to Workmen's Comp saying I have a brain injury due to "multiple traumatic events over time" and am deemed unemployable and need rehabilitation for an indeterminate amount of time. In Canada it's called WSIB (workmen's comp in US)
  • Divorced the ex who had had enough and met who I thought was the "love of my life" in 2015. I go back to rehab for a 3rd and 4th time for addiction and PTSD to show her I loved her (lol). My kids (I have 4) would visit on weekends and once during the week for dinner and then my two sons didn't wanna live with Mom so they moved in with me. Now I had a "real" reason to stay sober and didn't need AA anymore (addicts always think they got shit figured out themselves). My kids needed me and so did my 2nd wife's kids (my 3 stepkids at the time - her own 3 kids). In hindsight I know that trying to stay sober for your kids is a bullshit reason if you're a true addict and alcoholic it can only last so long.
  • I was getting paid full pay and thought HAHA fuck you government I'm fine I get to workout and netflix and chill all day
  • From From 2015-2017 I stay sober "for my kids" because they need me
  • In 2018 (yes shocking I ride motorcycles) I join a biker club and have ONE beer with them. Off I went, from ONE beer
  • That one beer led me to resenting my second wife and moving out with my two sons into a condo of our own.
  • I rode with the club almost 24/7 and abandoned my two boys who had to move back in with my 2nd wife who I had left
  • I got deep into drinking, using cocaine and crack, selling large amount of meth and cocaine and am still on WSIB due to a mental injury preventing me from working.
  • From my last call in 2014 until this day I'm still seeing a psychologist but WSIB poured it on hard from to try and see if I could ever be retrained to work anywhere at anything again.
  • In late 2018 I was deemed "unfit" as a candidate for ANY employment and my file was closed as a hopeless case and I was "permanently injured" on the job. This meant I was on a medical disability pension receiving 100% of my income and left to my own devices. The books were closed on me and I was on a pension now with WSIB benefits as well covering any expense I needed for therapy or head shrinking.
  • After realizing I was told I was actually that fucked I left the bike club and came home and realized that yes my two sons had really left. I was alone now. I felt sorry for myself and kept the drinking and cocaine going hard on my own. I watched the movie Leaving Las Vegas over and over and would watch gory military movies and incessantly watch any kill videos I could find on websites that were what I used to do. Apparently this is trauma bonding.
  • My family were the best parents and sister a guy could ask for. They'd try their best to help but really were just enabling me from getting to bottom and they see that now and I used up every last bit of enabling I could until they figured it out and I was now really, truly on my own.
  • None of the meds worked from 2014-2018. Even while sober from 2015-2017 the meds did fuck all and I was always sweating, red in the face and had a short temper. I was a "dry drunk" that just wanted that high speed back and was a narcissistic asshole.
  • Back alone in my condo with no family and no kids I started pounding back 60oz of Jack Daniels a day and switched to vodka. A 60oz of vodka a day. The word around AA is that once you've gotten yourself down to vodka only you're at the end. Well, I was. I didn't know you could do this but I drank myself to death. I officially "retired" in early 2019 and was no longer a cop and had to hand in my badge and was now on a full medical psycho pension.
  • In June of 2019 I was at my parents for a weekend and believe it or not because I wasn't drinking enough there (to try and be respectful) they would give me a couple shots every 2 hours to keep me sane and stable but this ended up being a bad approach to a hard case like me.
  • I had a seizure and couldn't breathe, my lungs were full of fluid and I couldn't breathe. My body was so full of edema I looked like a bloated whale. This all in front of my parents
  • Ambulance called and the last I remember saying in a calm voice to the paramedic (and to this day my Dad laughs at how calm I was) was "I'm going down you've got 5 minutes to intubate or I'm done, call my sister and my kids"
  • 6 weeks later I wake and am told I had died for 10 minutes. My ribs are broken from CPR and I have tubes down in my lungs and into my nose all for food and oxygen. I was on life support for a bit and my heart had been shocked back to get a pulse.
  • I get released and had "learned my lesson" and went back to my own place and my two sons came back to live with me. Got released in July 2019 and my "lesson" I learned lasted until October 2019 when my son turned 19 which is drinking age where I am so I thought it'd be a good idea to take him a strip club and have "one beer". I woke up in my room surrounded by a half used ounce of cocaine and bottles everywhere. My son said "Dad you can't drink" and I knew it but didn't care. They moved back in with wife # 2 and I was alone again. this time I knew how much would kill me so I backed off the 60oz and kept it around 40oz.
  • Meanwhile I was in and out of the hospital or detox centres about a half dozen times each between October 2019 and April 2021.
  • I quit the cocaine to be just an alcohol drinker thinking this was a kind gesture to my family and this went on until late April 2021 when (and mind you I somehow maintained my muscle mass and general shape and have a black belt in BJJ and a head full of hate and rage) I go balistic on a guy at a bar and smash him a new face and stabbed him too. Off to jail I go, and literally I knew half the cops dealing with me and they would tip toe around me like I was some psychotic alien. Due to my mental history, being flagged as "violent" in the 'system', "suicidal", an "escape risk" and possibly "armed" (basically every flag a cop would hear if I got pulled over or contacted on the street)
  • My case was adjourned so many times I can't recall how many but it didn't get dealt with until 2023.
  • Meanwhile my parents hire a hard hitting lawyer who somehow, my Gods grace, convinces the Judge to grant me bail so long as I live with my parents and am on strict house arrest. This might make you laugh but I had them add the condition that I was allowed to travel to and from the gym for "mental health reasons". I maintained a TRT the whole time since 2015.
  • I get out after a week waiting for bail and am living with my parents. This is now early May 2021. I convince them I need to keep drinking or I mentally won't survive and I promise to keep to myself in the basement and just be quiet down there and drink. My Dad drives me to the liquor store every day.
  • In a moment of clarity I realize my oldest sons birthday is coming up on July 5th and I order him a new set of golf clubs and a kickass new golf bag. On the day of his birthday he comes over to get his birthday present and I'm practically in a coma and my Dad had to give him the golf clubs for me and my Mom takes a picture of him and my Dad (his grandpa) while I'm downstairs passed out.
  • I wake up July 6th and yell up the stairs to my Dad "Is Connor coming today for his golf clubs?" and my Dad says you missed it, that was yesterday he came and got them already.
  • After ALL the shit, all the damage and warning signs and rehabs and ex wives and my kids having an unpredictable home not knowing if they could be with me THIS was my personal bottom
  • They say a man's personal bottom is very personal and it has to come from within. You have to find your bottom and YOU have to be sick of your own self and want to either die, or make a go of it ONLY for yourself. This was my moment.
  • I started at the bottom of the stairs and crawled and inched my way to the top while my Dad watched me, saying nothing. I got to the top and said "I'm done". My Dad very stoically said "Ok let's go" and he drove me to the hospital.
  • I was in the hospital for about a month getting my organs and body back in shape to even execute my aftercare plan
  • I called a sponsor who had been waiting for me to call for three years since I died in 2019 and he said "so I hear you're done?" and I said "ya i'm fuckin done man this is it or i'm dead and I hate myself and want to die". Being the amazing sponsor he is he said "Good".
  • My sober date is July 6, 2021, the day after my sons birthday. I worked the 12-step program and rediscovered my relationship with God and work the steps to this day. Despite being sober since July 6th, 2021 I developed an amazon addiction and a sugar addiction and gained 80 lbs while sober. This was a good lesson because an addict is an addict with anything, it's not just the booze or the drugs that's the problem it's ME! I solved this by being honest with myself and cut myself off buying anything and ran a hard core keto diet for 8 months and went from 270+ lbs to 190lbs in 8 months.
  • With six months of sobriety I attend rehab for the 5th and 6th time for addiction and PTSD only this time I attend and I mean business, with a clear head, truly sober and with honesty openness and willingness.
  • Meanwhile the wreckage of my past came knocking and my court case finally came due in January of 2024 and I was sentenced to 3 months in our version of a supermax (in the US it's called the SHU) due to the violent tendencies and mental issues that you never get 'unflagged' for just because you've been sober for a couple years they still consider you flagged as a threat. 3 months was a super light sentence but it had been because I had gotten my shit together for those 2 years and abided by all bail conditions and had been sober and had a great PSI report for the Judge. A single cell locked down 23 hours a day and out for 1 hour about half the days of the week depending on the guards moods. The first 3 days were hell, like an in shock kind of feeling and then my 12-step program and Faith kicked in and I settled in for the ride and knew I was there for a reason.
  • I'm almost 2 years sober going inside and not being given a break by the Judge was a huge blessing in disguise. I had time to reflect, and read, and found out who my true circle is but most importantly in there I found myself
  • I got out in April 2024 and celebrated my 3 year sobriety on July 6th 2024.
  • On July 6th that just passed I celebrated my 4-year anniversary with my girlfriend who doesn't drink and is as badass as I ever thought I was and accepts, respects, and supports everything about me and my past and she says she can't picture that old me one bit and that it has to have been removed (which is what the big book of AA says will happen - "the problem will be removed", that problem not being the drugs or alcohol but that problem being "me", so there needed to be a new me and that comes with Step 12)
  • Today, everything is behind me, I have an amazing relationship with my kids I miss ZERO events for them and they call me when they need me and everything I do for others makes me feel grateful now. My job is to help others and think zero of myself. I try not to do much of my own thinking and give it up to God or call my sponsor.
  • My parents drink and when I'm around it I don't even notice and if offered it by someone that doesn't know me I recoil from it like it's a hot flame (this is how it's described in the book and this is what happened to me by honestly working the steps and being bottom willing to go to any lengths to get sober and stay recovered from this horrible disease)
  • Now I sponsor other men with this disease and have helped 2 so far (out of countless dozens who've tried with me) make it through to other side of it. 2 out of 100 isn't that bad considering how this gets ahold of you but truly I help others to keep myself sober and if the man I'm sponsoring makes it then that's a bonus.

That is about as much as I can condense for you brothers. I won't tell the horror stories of me sniffing lines off the police cruiser laptop or the lying cheating and stealing money from my family or bad guys for my own drugs, stealing and lying to anyone and everyone because if you're a recovered addict I know you can just imagine the shit I've been through and done.

Now, I'm a dedicated Dad, step Dad to my girlfriends amazing kids, reliable brother and very trusted friend to many amazing people. I am honest to a fault without regretting and so it direct to everyone and people appreciate whether they know it or not. I get up every day at 6am, attend one meeting a week, currently sponsoring a man named "Garry" and my addiction is now the gym and bio-hacking with PED use to see my body transform.

Now the meds: due to the damage to my heart I needed anti-remodeling meds and due to the lifelong diagnosis of Operator Syndrome I am finally on the meds that keep me calm with mood stability and be able to sleep as well. My ejection fraction went from 22% to 53% and my cardiologist said I'm a walking miracle and my heart as healed itself. Nonetheless I'm on a laundry list of meds for both my heart and my psyche/Operator Syndrom.

So here's the list of my meds:

Zopiclone 7.5mg ED @ night (sleep)
Tadalafil 5mg ED @ morning (blood pressure/ED)
Sertraline=Zoloft 200mg @ night (mood)
Entresto 100mg (48.6mg Sacubitril/51.4mg Valsartin) @ night (heart)
Seroquil=Quetiapine 50mg @ night (anti-psychotic/sleep)
Prazosin 11mg @ night (nightmares/flashbacks)
Pantoprazole 40mg @ morning (stomach)
Lasix 40mg @ morning (water retention/edema - heart)
Eplerenone 25mg @ morning (heart)
Diazepam=Valium 10mg @ night (sleep/calm CNS)
Bisoprolol 10mg @ morning (heart)


So there's my personal story as promised @LevButlerov and all EVO bros. I'm sure there's many out there like me for sure. God bless.
Wow bro you should write a book about your life. That's a crazy read. I saw your post this morning but waited to read it cuz I wanted to be able to dedicate a little time to really focus. I'm glad you made it out the other side in almost 1 piece lol. I'm sure like many of us addicts you lost bits of yourself along the way. Sponsoring people is supposed to help a lot so it's nice to see you giving back, while at the same time helping yourself stay accountable. You're clearly one of those hardcore addicts where one shot and you're off. The real key to your success is avoiding those fuck up situations at all costs. Always be thinking about where you're going and what it could lead too.

Someone like you would probably benefit a lot from some type of adrenaline sport. You're a motorcycle guy like me, every try track days? Or dirt biking/MX. I even get a good buzz from mountain biking, and it's cardio. Something about those adrenaline rushes really helps calm the soul, probably cuz you're getting high on adrenaline lol.

Whatever can keep you on the right path like you've been is good. Gear, training, whatever it is, be addicted to that. Like you I have a very addictive personality, all in or nothing. The key to life is just being addicted to the right things. I'm sure you know this but it never hurts to be reminded once and while.

Stay strong and thanks for taking the time to share your story. I feel like a little angel after hearing your story lol...just kiddn...but kinda not. You're story is a movie, me I was just a high functioning addict who blew up a perfect life and hit rock bottom when I couldn't hide anymore.... pretty lame by comparison lol
 
Wow bro you should write a book about your life. That's a crazy read. I saw your post this morning but waited to read it cuz I wanted to be able to dedicate a little time to really focus. I'm glad you made it out the other side in almost 1 piece lol. I'm sure like many of us addicts you lost bits of yourself along the way. Sponsoring people is supposed to help a lot so it's nice to see you giving back, while at the same time helping yourself stay accountable. You're clearly one of those hardcore addicts where one shot and you're off. The real key to your success is avoiding those fuck up situations at all costs. Always be thinking about where you're going and what it could lead too.

Someone like you would probably benefit a lot from some type of adrenaline sport. You're a motorcycle guy like me, every try track days? Or dirt biking/MX. I even get a good buzz from mountain biking, and it's cardio. Something about those adrenaline rushes really helps calm the soul, probably cuz you're getting high on adrenaline lol.

Whatever can keep you on the right path like you've been is good. Gear, training, whatever it is, be addicted to that. Like you I have a very addictive personality, all in or nothing. The key to life is just being addicted to the right things. I'm sure you know this but it never hurts to be reminded once and while.

Stay strong and thanks for taking the time to share your story. I feel like a little angel after hearing your story lol...just kiddn...but kinda not. You're story is a movie, me I was just a high functioning addict who blew up a perfect life and hit rock bottom when I couldn't hide anymore.... pretty lame by comparison lol
@BeMe Hey brother, thanks for that feedback and taking the time to reply it really means a lot (I mean that!). And brother, as an addict we all have different stories, some more violent and some more self destructive, some less so and some just doing harm to our own selves in secret. BUT, the feelings are all the same, and I know you know how I felt going through all that no matter the comparison and that's what matters brother. You had the same feelings, the same self hatred and anger and hitting bottom no matter how it looks it feels the same for all of us. I really appreciate you sharing your story too that takes a lot of courage and openness. God Bless man! 🙏

I sent you a DM, addict to addict.
 
@BeMe Hey brother, thanks for that feedback and taking the time to reply it really means a lot (I mean that!). And brother, as an addict we all have different stories, some more violent and some more self destructive, some less so and some just doing harm to our own selves in secret. BUT, the feelings are all the same, and I know you know how I felt going through all that no matter the comparison and that's what matters brother. You had the same feelings, the same self hatred and anger and hitting bottom no matter how it looks it feels the same for all of us. I really appreciate you sharing your story too that takes a lot of courage and openness. God Bless man! 🙏

I sent you a DM, addict to addict.
Ya I completely understand bro. I'm just happy you're still standing to tell the tale cuz that's some serious shit you had to go through. My only saving grace was I was young enough that I didn't have a ton to lose, and I was able to start over and catch back up in life through hard work. I can't imagine how bad it would've been if I got that caught up in my addiction now. I'd have enough money to truly do some damage and I'd easily be able to hide it for a long time. Luckily that life is behind me and I'm totally dialed in on nothing but self improvement everyday. No steps backwards
 
My addiction story from 2012 til 2021.

Like all us addicts our stories are filled with wreckage and damage we've caused so I'll spare you the gory details and stick to the DOC's (drugs of choice) during what years they were and where I ended up and when I got sober. I'll use bullet points as my story spans almost a decade.

  • Police Officer from 1999-2019 (20 years and was out)
  • Used booze like any cop to unwind and overdid it often, no biggie, drank hard on days off and never when working
  • Worked with our ERT = Emergency Response Team (in the US they call it SWAT or some variation) otherwise was a traffic cop, lots of pissed off motorists and gory ass blood and guts accidents
  • Due to my level of callouts and what I did both on ERT and at car wrecks my head and mental state got all fucked up. I was pure adrenaline all the time and wired for speed. I had what's called Operator Syndrome (or some call it severe c-PTSD) which basically turns you into a powder keg of rage ready to explode at any time but makes you great at your job.
  • In 2012 I was rear ended by a drunk driver and prescribed Percocets (oxycodone and tylenol). I fucking LOVED them and they helped the PTSD I didn't know I had. They didn't make me tired like most people they gave me energy and at the same time calmed my mind down. I had zero problems and felt at peace in my head. I was on them for as long as the doc would prescribe them until he got wind from my ex wife I was using the shit out of them. He cut my prescription off and I got withdrawals and sick as fuck so I started getting them from a buddy. Drained my bank account and took whatever was for sale, dilaudid, hydromorphone, oxycontin, fentanyl patches, anything to keep that "everything is fucking great" feeling and also not to feel like your hair hurts when the wind blows (the withdrawals are fucking awful). Was going to work and functioning on all this as it gave me energy and my mood was ever more alpha.
  • Got caught due to finances and came clean. Police Force sent me to rehab in 2012 where I was told I was apparently an alcoholic and an addict. I thought they were full of shit but played the game. Went back to work and was on Suboxone (buprenorphine) which makes any pain pill not work. I was "cured" and made a go at no booze as well and did the whole AA thing too. Even worked the 12-step program but inside I hadn't accepted I was fucked and was just playing the game.
  • Time went by and from 2012-2014 I started drinking again and convinced the ex that booze was never my problem.
  • Meanwhile from 2012-2014 I had some of the craziest ERT calls ever. High speed no knock warrant breaches and shootings, went home like meh whatever and would drink a 12-pack and slam some liquor too, problem solved and a good day at work. Was in great shape looked like He-Man marvel character and had an ego that could fill the room. Mindset was another bad guy with a hole in the head fucking right I did good today. Not knowing this takes a toll on the mind.
  • Early 2014 my non cop friends (who all did blow and I didn't care) crunched me out a line and I did one and loved that too (shocking). Oh but still, I wasn't no addict or alcoholic my job is stressful and I'm blowing off steam. Hence the cocaine addiction started for all of 2014. Got caught and ponied up that I was doing blow always while I drank and sent back to the same rehab. In rehab this time they said I also have severe PTSD. Got out knowing I "over do it" and told myself well I'm high fuckin speed I don't do anything half way and that's what makes me a good operator so I can control this and just stop.
  • Right after getting out of rehab for addiction I get sent back for PTSD (same rehab again - an in house 8 week program and you don't get visits). So this was my 1st and 2nd bit in rehab.
  • Late 2014 I attend my final call for duty (a bad one) and I go home and get fucked up on booze and cocaine for about a week and call in sick to work. Ex wife drives me to the nut house and I get admitted for 3-day involuntary custody for evaluation. I come being diagnosed with Alcohol use disorder, Cocaine use disorder, Opiate use disorder and severe c-PTSD and am given a doctors note to stay off work for 6 months until I've seen a Psychiatrist and properly assessed.
  • Finally get in with a Psychiatrist and it goes bad (so I thought). He says I'm borderline psychotic and may be good at my job but I've been through too much and my brain has changed. MRI of my amygdala shows it's enlarged and I'm on constant fight or flight mode even while sober. Psychiatrist reaches out to Workmen's Comp saying I have a brain injury due to "multiple traumatic events over time" and am deemed unemployable and need rehabilitation for an indeterminate amount of time. In Canada it's called WSIB (workmen's comp in US)
  • Divorced the ex who had had enough and met who I thought was the "love of my life" in 2015. I go back to rehab for a 3rd and 4th time for addiction and PTSD to show her I loved her (lol). My kids (I have 4) would visit on weekends and once during the week for dinner and then my two sons didn't wanna live with Mom so they moved in with me. Now I had a "real" reason to stay sober and didn't need AA anymore (addicts always think they got shit figured out themselves). My kids needed me and so did my 2nd wife's kids (my 3 stepkids at the time - her own 3 kids). In hindsight I know that trying to stay sober for your kids is a bullshit reason if you're a true addict and alcoholic it can only last so long.
  • I was getting paid full pay and thought HAHA fuck you government I'm fine I get to workout and netflix and chill all day
  • From From 2015-2017 I stay sober "for my kids" because they need me
  • In 2018 (yes shocking I ride motorcycles) I join a biker club and have ONE beer with them. Off I went, from ONE beer
  • That one beer led me to resenting my second wife and moving out with my two sons into a condo of our own.
  • I rode with the club almost 24/7 and abandoned my two boys who had to move back in with my 2nd wife who I had left
  • I got deep into drinking, using cocaine and crack, selling large amount of meth and cocaine and am still on WSIB due to a mental injury preventing me from working.
  • From my last call in 2014 until this day I'm still seeing a psychologist but WSIB poured it on hard from to try and see if I could ever be retrained to work anywhere at anything again.
  • In late 2018 I was deemed "unfit" as a candidate for ANY employment and my file was closed as a hopeless case and I was "permanently injured" on the job. This meant I was on a medical disability pension receiving 100% of my income and left to my own devices. The books were closed on me and I was on a pension now with WSIB benefits as well covering any expense I needed for therapy or head shrinking.
  • After realizing I was told I was actually that fucked I left the bike club and came home and realized that yes my two sons had really left. I was alone now. I felt sorry for myself and kept the drinking and cocaine going hard on my own. I watched the movie Leaving Las Vegas over and over and would watch gory military movies and incessantly watch any kill videos I could find on websites that were what I used to do. Apparently this is trauma bonding.
  • My family were the best parents and sister a guy could ask for. They'd try their best to help but really were just enabling me from getting to bottom and they see that now and I used up every last bit of enabling I could until they figured it out and I was now really, truly on my own.
  • None of the meds worked from 2014-2018. Even while sober from 2015-2017 the meds did fuck all and I was always sweating, red in the face and had a short temper. I was a "dry drunk" that just wanted that high speed back and was a narcissistic asshole.
  • Back alone in my condo with no family and no kids I started pounding back 60oz of Jack Daniels a day and switched to vodka. A 60oz of vodka a day. The word around AA is that once you've gotten yourself down to vodka only you're at the end. Well, I was. I didn't know you could do this but I drank myself to death. I officially "retired" in early 2019 and was no longer a cop and had to hand in my badge and was now on a full medical psycho pension.
  • In June of 2019 I was at my parents for a weekend and believe it or not because I wasn't drinking enough there (to try and be respectful) they would give me a couple shots every 2 hours to keep me sane and stable but this ended up being a bad approach to a hard case like me.
  • I had a seizure and couldn't breathe, my lungs were full of fluid and I couldn't breathe. My body was so full of edema I looked like a bloated whale. This all in front of my parents
  • Ambulance called and the last I remember saying in a calm voice to the paramedic (and to this day my Dad laughs at how calm I was) was "I'm going down you've got 5 minutes to intubate or I'm done, call my sister and my kids"
  • 6 weeks later I wake and am told I had died for 10 minutes. My ribs are broken from CPR and I have tubes down in my lungs and into my nose all for food and oxygen. I was on life support for a bit and my heart had been shocked back to get a pulse.
  • I get released and had "learned my lesson" and went back to my own place and my two sons came back to live with me. Got released in July 2019 and my "lesson" I learned lasted until October 2019 when my son turned 19 which is drinking age where I am so I thought it'd be a good idea to take him a strip club and have "one beer". I woke up in my room surrounded by a half used ounce of cocaine and bottles everywhere. My son said "Dad you can't drink" and I knew it but didn't care. They moved back in with wife # 2 and I was alone again. this time I knew how much would kill me so I backed off the 60oz and kept it around 40oz.
  • Meanwhile I was in and out of the hospital or detox centres about a half dozen times each between October 2019 and April 2021.
  • I quit the cocaine to be just an alcohol drinker thinking this was a kind gesture to my family and this went on until late April 2021 when (and mind you I somehow maintained my muscle mass and general shape and have a black belt in BJJ and a head full of hate and rage) I go balistic on a guy at a bar and smash him a new face and stabbed him too. Off to jail I go, and literally I knew half the cops dealing with me and they would tip toe around me like I was some psychotic alien. Due to my mental history, being flagged as "violent" in the 'system', "suicidal", an "escape risk" and possibly "armed" (basically every flag a cop would hear if I got pulled over or contacted on the street)
  • My case was adjourned so many times I can't recall how many but it didn't get dealt with until 2023.
  • Meanwhile my parents hire a hard hitting lawyer who somehow, my Gods grace, convinces the Judge to grant me bail so long as I live with my parents and am on strict house arrest. This might make you laugh but I had them add the condition that I was allowed to travel to and from the gym for "mental health reasons". I maintained a TRT the whole time since 2015.
  • I get out after a week waiting for bail and am living with my parents. This is now early May 2021. I convince them I need to keep drinking or I mentally won't survive and I promise to keep to myself in the basement and just be quiet down there and drink. My Dad drives me to the liquor store every day.
  • In a moment of clarity I realize my oldest sons birthday is coming up on July 5th and I order him a new set of golf clubs and a kickass new golf bag. On the day of his birthday he comes over to get his birthday present and I'm practically in a coma and my Dad had to give him the golf clubs for me and my Mom takes a picture of him and my Dad (his grandpa) while I'm downstairs passed out.
  • I wake up July 6th and yell up the stairs to my Dad "Is Connor coming today for his golf clubs?" and my Dad says you missed it, that was yesterday he came and got them already.
  • After ALL the shit, all the damage and warning signs and rehabs and ex wives and my kids having an unpredictable home not knowing if they could be with me THIS was my personal bottom
  • They say a man's personal bottom is very personal and it has to come from within. You have to find your bottom and YOU have to be sick of your own self and want to either die, or make a go of it ONLY for yourself. This was my moment.
  • I started at the bottom of the stairs and crawled and inched my way to the top while my Dad watched me, saying nothing. I got to the top and said "I'm done". My Dad very stoically said "Ok let's go" and he drove me to the hospital.
  • I was in the hospital for about a month getting my organs and body back in shape to even execute my aftercare plan
  • I called a sponsor who had been waiting for me to call for three years since I died in 2019 and he said "so I hear you're done?" and I said "ya i'm fuckin done man this is it or i'm dead and I hate myself and want to die". Being the amazing sponsor he is he said "Good".
  • My sober date is July 6, 2021, the day after my sons birthday. I worked the 12-step program and rediscovered my relationship with God and work the steps to this day. Despite being sober since July 6th, 2021 I developed an amazon addiction and a sugar addiction and gained 80 lbs while sober. This was a good lesson because an addict is an addict with anything, it's not just the booze or the drugs that's the problem it's ME! I solved this by being honest with myself and cut myself off buying anything and ran a hard core keto diet for 8 months and went from 270+ lbs to 190lbs in 8 months.
  • With six months of sobriety I attend rehab for the 5th and 6th time for addiction and PTSD only this time I attend and I mean business, with a clear head, truly sober and with honesty openness and willingness.
  • Meanwhile the wreckage of my past came knocking and my court case finally came due in January of 2024 and I was sentenced to 3 months in our version of a supermax (in the US it's called the SHU) due to the violent tendencies and mental issues that you never get 'unflagged' for just because you've been sober for a couple years they still consider you flagged as a threat. 3 months was a super light sentence but it had been because I had gotten my shit together for those 2 years and abided by all bail conditions and had been sober and had a great PSI report for the Judge. A single cell locked down 23 hours a day and out for 1 hour about half the days of the week depending on the guards moods. The first 3 days were hell, like an in shock kind of feeling and then my 12-step program and Faith kicked in and I settled in for the ride and knew I was there for a reason.
  • I'm almost 2 years sober going inside and not being given a break by the Judge was a huge blessing in disguise. I had time to reflect, and read, and found out who my true circle is but most importantly in there I found myself
  • I got out in April 2024 and celebrated my 3 year sobriety on July 6th 2024.
  • On July 6th that just passed I celebrated my 4-year anniversary with my girlfriend who doesn't drink and is as badass as I ever thought I was and accepts, respects, and supports everything about me and my past and she says she can't picture that old me one bit and that it has to have been removed (which is what the big book of AA says will happen - "the problem will be removed", that problem not being the drugs or alcohol but that problem being "me", so there needed to be a new me and that comes with Step 12)
  • Today, everything is behind me, I have an amazing relationship with my kids I miss ZERO events for them and they call me when they need me and everything I do for others makes me feel grateful now. My job is to help others and think zero of myself. I try not to do much of my own thinking and give it up to God or call my sponsor.
  • My parents drink and when I'm around it I don't even notice and if offered it by someone that doesn't know me I recoil from it like it's a hot flame (this is how it's described in the book and this is what happened to me by honestly working the steps and being bottom willing to go to any lengths to get sober and stay recovered from this horrible disease)
  • Now I sponsor other men with this disease and have helped 2 so far (out of countless dozens who've tried with me) make it through to other side of it. 2 out of 100 isn't that bad considering how this gets ahold of you but truly I help others to keep myself sober and if the man I'm sponsoring makes it then that's a bonus.

That is about as much as I can condense for you brothers. I won't tell the horror stories of me sniffing lines off the police cruiser laptop or the lying cheating and stealing money from my family or bad guys for my own drugs, stealing and lying to anyone and everyone because if you're a recovered addict I know you can just imagine the shit I've been through and done.

Now, I'm a dedicated Dad, step Dad to my girlfriends amazing kids, reliable brother and very trusted friend to many amazing people. I am honest to a fault without regretting and so it direct to everyone and people appreciate whether they know it or not. I get up every day at 6am, attend one meeting a week, currently sponsoring a man named "Garry" and my addiction is now the gym and bio-hacking with PED use to see my body transform.

Now the meds: due to the damage to my heart I needed anti-remodeling meds and due to the lifelong diagnosis of Operator Syndrome I am finally on the meds that keep me calm with mood stability and be able to sleep as well. My ejection fraction went from 22% to 53% and my cardiologist said I'm a walking miracle and my heart as healed itself. Nonetheless I'm on a laundry list of meds for both my heart and my psyche/Operator Syndrom.

So here's the list of my meds:

Zopiclone 7.5mg ED @ night (sleep)
Tadalafil 5mg ED @ morning (blood pressure/ED)
Sertraline=Zoloft 200mg @ night (mood)
Entresto 100mg (48.6mg Sacubitril/51.4mg Valsartin) @ night (heart)
Seroquil=Quetiapine 50mg @ night (anti-psychotic/sleep)
Prazosin 11mg @ night (nightmares/flashbacks)
Pantoprazole 40mg @ morning (stomach)
Lasix 40mg @ morning (water retention/edema - heart)
Eplerenone 25mg @ morning (heart)
Diazepam=Valium 10mg @ night (sleep/calm CNS)
Bisoprolol 10mg @ morning (heart)


So there's my personal story as promised @LevButlerov and all EVO bros. I'm sure there's many out there like me for sure. God bless.
@HarleyGuy Iron Brother I just wanna say I’m proud of you for laying that all out because that takes guts. I know the feeling of being chained to the bottle, I ran that road myself for years until it damn near killed me. The fact you made it through all that chaos, rehab after rehab, relapses and even jail time, and still pulled yourself back up says a lot about who you are. You hit your bottom and didn’t run from it, you faced it head on, that’s something to be proud of.
Four years sober is no joke! and you earned every single day of it. I can promise you, your story is gonna keep somebody else alive who reads it because they’ll see there’s a way out. You’re showing your kids and everyone around you what real strength looks like now. Keep doing exactly what you’re doing, one day at a time, and don’t ever forget how far you’ve come. And always remember, EVO family is here for you, with LOVE always any hard days you have and easy days too :D
 
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