Ive been asked to log my dianabol only cycle despite not really wanting to. but if i run into issues it may be beneficial to me down the line so.. First to pre-emptively address every other comment that will be asking "why?": because. thank you.
Ok so i started lifting in HS for like 2.5 years age 16-18:
Got depressed stopped lifting. looked like this at like 22, 6'1 76kg:
Started up again in 2020. Did this in 14 months. 82kg to 93kg. not even sure how i did it, was drinking like crazy and not sleeping well and running on pure caffeine. my body just randomly decided to produce hormones again. ill never understand what happened. but i was training so hard i slipped a disc in my back and got sciatica. anyway youll understand why i subscribe to the training > diet/sleep/lifestyle argument personally:
soon after this i noticed my hair falling out so i took fin for 3 months. started to notice i was turning into a female emotionally like crying a lot and like acting like a mom to my friends. stopped fin. slowly developed complete dysphoria and anhedonia, deepest darkest depression of my life. everyone ditched. after 2 years i found the only thing that gave relief was 9mg of boron a day. i figured this meant i probably had low free t and e2. Doc gave me a test test. 475ng/dl. pretty useless without knowing what it was before. looked online for clinics or somewhere to get bloods done. couldn't find anything close so gave up. (now i realise there actually is heaps around so ill get that done when i can afford it.)
anyways fast forward to 5 days ago 88kg, 3 days on, i did some pushups before the second shot cause i needed to. second pic im 0.5kg lighter somehow despite the appetite increase and my compliance in satiating it:
Ive naturally almost immediately upped calories by about 40%. and really making an effort to hit 200g protein. just guesswork with fats (feel based protocol) and carbs as i need them. whats weird is im hungry but it feels like my stomach is clogged. probably needs to stretch to accommodate the extra food. glad i started low. 5mgx2(10mg)/day for the first three days and then the next 2 were 7.5mgx2. starting on 10 tomorrow. from reading around it seems like with this compound you wanna go short and hard as opposed to what i was originally gonna do which was slow and low. so gonna ramp it up to 20 gauging how i feel with each incremental increase. i get its still low.
5mg was powerful the first time. now it has normalised and i dont feel it nearly as much so thats how im gauging the increases. anyway a big thing is it has temporarily cured every mental ailment ive had for my entire adult life. which is probably an indicator that i need to be on TRT long term, which can be pursued after i get bloods done etc. but gonna have some fun with this rn anyway. also my nips have never been smaller. also i have the insatiable urge to cuddle smaller guys and tell them everything's ok.
biggest question i have is should i split 3 ways instead and do a third at night just to stay anabolic the whole time since im keeping this cycle shorter now (6 weeks at ~20mg as opposed to 12wk at 10mg). my thinking was if its pretty much out of my system when i go to bed, at least my balls will be trying to begin the process of making test towards the morning even though they wont make much, and then presumably when i come off ill bounce back quicker. or do i just go full crush to make the most of it and then come off and deal with the aftermath (which might be the same either way). i guess we dont really have the science to answer that rn. anyway the plan is to come off and then do it again a month or so later to let the old cirrhosis heal. (i genuinely probably have cirrhosis ive almost died from alcohol multiple times. but doc says liver is fine.) obviously im not touching a drop while on.
Also do i need more sleep while on or less? i remember derek mcplaydates saying u can sleep less on test or something. ive been going to bed a little earlier but it gives me cheat mode energy anyway. and yeah im worried if i take it at night i wont sleep but if its worth the anabolism ill try it at least and see if i can.
im taking NAC TUDSCA and fish oil and a Multi once a day. and electrolytes during training and magnesium at night.
Ok so i started lifting in HS for like 2.5 years age 16-18:
Got depressed stopped lifting. looked like this at like 22, 6'1 76kg:
Started up again in 2020. Did this in 14 months. 82kg to 93kg. not even sure how i did it, was drinking like crazy and not sleeping well and running on pure caffeine. my body just randomly decided to produce hormones again. ill never understand what happened. but i was training so hard i slipped a disc in my back and got sciatica. anyway youll understand why i subscribe to the training > diet/sleep/lifestyle argument personally:
soon after this i noticed my hair falling out so i took fin for 3 months. started to notice i was turning into a female emotionally like crying a lot and like acting like a mom to my friends. stopped fin. slowly developed complete dysphoria and anhedonia, deepest darkest depression of my life. everyone ditched. after 2 years i found the only thing that gave relief was 9mg of boron a day. i figured this meant i probably had low free t and e2. Doc gave me a test test. 475ng/dl. pretty useless without knowing what it was before. looked online for clinics or somewhere to get bloods done. couldn't find anything close so gave up. (now i realise there actually is heaps around so ill get that done when i can afford it.)
anyways fast forward to 5 days ago 88kg, 3 days on, i did some pushups before the second shot cause i needed to. second pic im 0.5kg lighter somehow despite the appetite increase and my compliance in satiating it:
Ive naturally almost immediately upped calories by about 40%. and really making an effort to hit 200g protein. just guesswork with fats (feel based protocol) and carbs as i need them. whats weird is im hungry but it feels like my stomach is clogged. probably needs to stretch to accommodate the extra food. glad i started low. 5mgx2(10mg)/day for the first three days and then the next 2 were 7.5mgx2. starting on 10 tomorrow. from reading around it seems like with this compound you wanna go short and hard as opposed to what i was originally gonna do which was slow and low. so gonna ramp it up to 20 gauging how i feel with each incremental increase. i get its still low.
5mg was powerful the first time. now it has normalised and i dont feel it nearly as much so thats how im gauging the increases. anyway a big thing is it has temporarily cured every mental ailment ive had for my entire adult life. which is probably an indicator that i need to be on TRT long term, which can be pursued after i get bloods done etc. but gonna have some fun with this rn anyway. also my nips have never been smaller. also i have the insatiable urge to cuddle smaller guys and tell them everything's ok.
biggest question i have is should i split 3 ways instead and do a third at night just to stay anabolic the whole time since im keeping this cycle shorter now (6 weeks at ~20mg as opposed to 12wk at 10mg). my thinking was if its pretty much out of my system when i go to bed, at least my balls will be trying to begin the process of making test towards the morning even though they wont make much, and then presumably when i come off ill bounce back quicker. or do i just go full crush to make the most of it and then come off and deal with the aftermath (which might be the same either way). i guess we dont really have the science to answer that rn. anyway the plan is to come off and then do it again a month or so later to let the old cirrhosis heal. (i genuinely probably have cirrhosis ive almost died from alcohol multiple times. but doc says liver is fine.) obviously im not touching a drop while on.
Also do i need more sleep while on or less? i remember derek mcplaydates saying u can sleep less on test or something. ive been going to bed a little earlier but it gives me cheat mode energy anyway. and yeah im worried if i take it at night i wont sleep but if its worth the anabolism ill try it at least and see if i can.
im taking NAC TUDSCA and fish oil and a Multi once a day. and electrolytes during training and magnesium at night.